The confrontation between Enrique and me made me feel weird. I couldn’t sleep more at night and I just looked at my daughter all night. Sometimes I take a nap with my head on the crib and immediately panic when I feel the crib moving.
I immediately looked outside and thought that maybe someone had come in and wanted to take her from me. Even though I can’t see anything, I’m afraid to sleep again. My chest is always beating fast and strong. I’m always nervous, always scared and I don’t know why. I also have nothing to say, nothing to talk to. I can’t count on Celestine either.
I am trying to call Ervic, he is the only person I can trust but his phone was off. I need his help because I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m going crazy thinking about something. I can think of everything that is not good and as time goes on it gets worse.
What if I will leave here? I have money, I have a business. I can support my daughter’s needs and we don’t need anyone with us. We don’t need providers because I can provide everything.
Yeah, I think that is the right thing to do. We need to leave here and stay away from everyone. My daughter and I need to be together and no one else. I can protect her better if it’s just the two of us. I will watch her more and focus my attention on her.
I made a rash decision and immediately pack my daughter’s things away. I put all her things in the bag and pack everything that she needs. When I made sure that things were in order, I followed mine as well.
I was about to finish when the door suddenly opened and Enrique entered. I saw the surprise in his eyes when he noticed the bags on the floor but I ignored him and just continued what I was doing.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving,” I answered quickly without stopping to pack. My decision is complete, I’m leaving and I don’t care if he doesn’t want to.
“What? What are you saying?” He came to me and grabbed my hand to stop me.
“I said I’m leaving. I’m leaving here because my daughter and I are not part of it. No one wants us here.” Whatever I can think of. Whatever my reason is.
“What the hell are you saying? Are you out of your mind?”
“Ervic is not here so my daughter and I are leaving here because my son is not important here.”
“I don’t know what’s happening to you. But I won’t allow you to leave.”
“There’s nothing you can do.”
“No one’s leaving.”
“You have no choice. My daughter and I will leave whether you want or not.”
“Did you speak to Ervic?”
“No, I can contact him. He doesn’t want to talk to me.” Honestly, I am hurt by what Ervic is doing to me. He is my best friend, he and Celestine but they are both not by my side now that I need them. I understand Celestine’s side because she has a family but she—-I wishes she was here especially now but she is not by my side.
“Then you are not allowed to leave.” He approached Ixora’s things and removed them from the bag one by one.
“What?!” I approached him and took my daughter’s things from his hand. “Give it back!”
“I said no one is leaving!” he screamed and scattered my daughter’s things on the floor. The ones in the bag looked like trash he stamped.
“Stop!”
“When I say no one is leaving, no one is leaving.” He threw away the things and angrily disappeared while looking at me evilly.
“What do you care about me and my daughter huh?!”
“I am her uncle, she is my brother’s daughter.”
“Ervic doesn’t care about my daughter. That’s why he still hasn’t shown up to now and he’s enjoying where he is now.”
“Of course he has.”
“Of course, he’s not.”
“He is the father so he cares about you, especially his daughter.”
“Oh, really? Then where is he now? Where is he?” He didn’t answer. He just stared at me. “You can not answer? Because what I’m saying is true.”
“I don’t know what his reason is. But it doesn’t mean he didn’t love you and Ixora. He is the father so—–”
“He’s not the father!” Even I stopped what I said. Oh God, why did I say that? I am shocked too while staring at him. I also saw his frown.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing.” I was about to leave him when he grabbed me and held me in his arms. Because of his tight grip on me, I faced back.
“What did you say?” His eyes are full of anger.
“Let me go.”
“Repeat what you said.” Every time he speaks, there is an edge and an emphasis.
“I’m hurting!”
“Repeat what you said!”
“Ixora is not Ervic’s daughter,” I said with emphasis. “He’s not the real father.”
“Isn’t Ixora Ervic’s daughter?” His eyes were on fire staring at me. I feel like anytime he turns into a lion he will eat me. “Who is his father? Me? But it’s impossible because I’m not impregnating you—–”
“You are not her father and neither is Ervic.”
I don’t know what to say now. If I confess the truth to him it would be messier. I don’t know, I’m confused. I want to leave here and take my daughter with me. So maybe it’s better if I lie. I don’t know anymore. I’m confused. I’m out of my mind. I’ve been thinking so much.
“What did you say again?”
“My daughter is not related to you.”
“You’re lying.”
“No, Ixora is the daughter of somebody that I met in Cupid. I was devastated at that time because what you said would hurt me, so I thought of hitting someone. And it happened. I did not expect it to be developed. I have no choice but to ask Ervic to help me.”
“Are you saying that Ixora is not a Locsin?”
“Yes.”
“And Ervic knows?” I didn’t answer. I don’t know how to stand up for what I’m doing. “Answer me!”
“Yeah, that is why he left and he doesn’t care about us. I told him that I will pay him and he agreed, but he changed his mind and told me to grab the chance of marrying you. So it’s easy for him to ignore me—–”
“How dare you?”
“I’m hurting.” He tightens his grip on my arms while looking at me. “I said I’m hurting!”
“How dare you manipulate us?”
“Let me go.”
“You tricked me. You tricked us. You tricked everyone!”
“I’m hurting.”
“You’re a fucking manipulative. Did you play us all? Also your family? You’re nothing but a piece of filthy——” But he didn’t continue what he was going to say.
“A filthy whore? Bitch, huh? Is that it? Is that it? Then, yes I am, I fucked with everyone after you rejected me including your brother, so even I can’t determine who is the father of my child. But one thing is for sure you are not the father because first, you did not shoot inside. And Ervic? He used condoms. Ervic take my daughter because he indulged in my body.”
“You will pay for this.”
“I’m hurting.” But his grip only tightened.
“I said it hurt.” I pulled my hand hard and pushed him. He glares at me while clenching his fist. “So my daughter and I are leaving here because we are not part of this family. Don’t worry and I will file an annulment.”
“No one is leaving.” He said with emphasis and looked at me evilly.
“What did you say?”
“I said you will not be allowed to leave. You will not leave in this fucking house.”
“My daughter and I are leaving. Why are you stopping me? Didn’t I tell you that Ixora is not Locsin?”
“I don’t care!” I recoiled from the scream and the back of my foot hit the bed so I sat up. His face was red as he stared at me.
“W-what—-”
“I don’t give a shit if Ixora is not a Locsin. She already used my name so she’s my fucking responsibility and so you are my wife. You understand, huh? Plug it into your immature brain that you are married to me and I am the father of your child on paper. So you won’t leave. No one will leave because I am responsible for you. You rot here, I will do everything I want to you and your daughter because I own you and both of you carry my last name. You just used us then stand for it. No one is leaving. Try to step out of this room with your things and everyone—-including your father will know how you deceived and manipulates us. I will embarrass you to everyone who knows you the moment you step foot out of this mansion.”
“Enrique.” Suddenly, all the fear went up in my body. I don’t want them to know what I did, especially my family. First, I introduced Ervic as Ixora’s father, then they will know it’s not Locsin, and then brother Dylan will tell them the truth, and Enrique will know the truth, too. Fuck I’ve messed up. What did I get into?
“You will not leave. You will not leave with your child. Stay here until you die, you and your daughter will be mine forever. Will be a Locsin forever. Do you understand?” Even though he said it calmly, his face was undeniably angry.
“Why? Why don’t you let me go?”
“What for? You want to stay here, right? That’s why you planned this. Then stay here. You put me in this fucking marriage by using your daughter so there’s no fucking way out for you too. From now on, you have no freedom. We will both suffer in this fucking marriage. Let us both suffer without freedom.”
And he left dumbfounded.
I went over to my daughter’s crib and picked him up.
“Sorry baby, sorry because mommy is crazy.” And like I always do, all I can do is cry and cry.