(Filippo Valentini)
After two hours, being sure that Renata is sleeping soundly, I carefully take her head off my chest, switch places with a pillow and Renata clings to my replacement.
The night didn’t end as planned, I figured that bringing her to live with me would make me get to my goal of fucking her faster, but every time I get close to sinking into her flesh, something happens to get in the way and it’s driving me crazy, I’m on the verge of losing my patience, which is already very little.
Today I almost lost my mind, I ended up saying what I shouldn’t have, I didn’t plan to throw in her face that I used to have sex with her a lot, I could see the disappointment on her face, but my anger and frustration spoke so loud that I was glad I said it, I’ve been holding back too long and this way she will soon get a shock of reality, I’m a man and I need to attend to my needs.
She thinks she can play with me, but that’s not how it works. In this game, the champion will always be me. But I confess, hearing her apologize made me one percent sorry for having hurt her with the things I said, and for that, I also ended up apologizing.
You bitch! The only person, who I have ever apologized to in my life, was my brother, Vincenzo. She is messing with my fucking mind!
I don’t want my brothers to know that she is here, much less my mother, she would make me even more upset knowing that I am living with a woman. Next week, I’ll get a new place, buy a house, and put it in her name so that when I’m gone, she won’t be able to say I haven’t been generous. And she should feel very grateful, the others just had rolls. This house will be my gift, for being the first man in it.
Am I acting like a scrotum?
Fuck me!
I sit down in the armchair, facing the bed and watching Renata’s serene face sleeping. This is going to be complicated, never sleeping in the same bed as a woman. “But he never called any of them his girlfriend, much less brought any into the house,” – my mind pins me, and I roll my eyes at my own thoughts.
The beeping sound wakes me from my reveries.
“Listening.”
“Today we will have a celebration, for the quadrille we learned today, come…”
“I will report to the boss who is contacting me for non-work related matters,” I cut him off impatiently.
“I was just being polite by calling you for a…”
“You don’t get paid to be polite, boss,” I hung up.
Camily is being such a pain in the ass, I need to get rid of her.
Sigh, my day today was shit.
Matteo is angry with me, I didn’t keep my word and he himself had to act to stop the competition, he called me just to fix the mess. I had to tell the FBI that I was passing by and saw the war – which was really a slaughter. – There were only two men left alive, and they did not open their mouths to say anything; even though they were the losing side, they had to stay loyal to the boss, who must be foaming with rage at the knowledge that his goods – Argentinean weapons and drugs – were stolen by the Italian mafia.
Watching Renata sleeping so peacefully in my bed makes me think of where I should be: with my family in Milan, holding the position of mob boss, and married to the girl I was promised in my mother’s womb.
I have never wondered where my promised girl is, I don’t want to get married, “but she is playing house with a temporary girlfriend”- my mind mocks me. “It’s only to fuck her, then I’ll dump her”- I answer my mind.
I don’t want to have children, my brother and I made a deal, he releases me from the obligations of capo, where I would have to live anonymously in Milan, in exchange, I launder money, design new weapons, manufacture them and even facilitate the entry of drugs and smuggled weapons into this country. In this deal, I am at an advantage. I work too much.
My cell phone vibrates on the bedside table, the name Lucca flashes on the screen.
“Have you found her yet?” I ask as I answer the phone.
After discovering that Veronica is involved with Tiago, my bloodlust for her has tripled. I already wanted to kill her for trying to run Renata over, but Veronica is more of a pussy than I imagined and the poor thing knows how to hide.
If I could go back in time, I would never have fucked that bitch.
“She was seen leaving the bank, a black car was waiting for her, we followed, but they managed to lose us.”
“Then why did you call me?” I interrupt him rudely, I don’t need unnecessary information.
“I wouldn’t call you without having relevant information,” he answers. “My men managed to shoot a tracker into the tire, but since they were outnumbered, they could only see the car parked on Onore’s property.”
“Did they find out the identity of the old man?”
“I am not sure, we did not see James on the property, but we did see their boss hugging Veronica.”
“Keep watching,” off.
“Filippo?” Renata calls me in a sleepy voice, her hands groping the side of the bed where I was lying. Not finding me, she sits up in bed and looks around the room. “Why aren’t you lying down?” She asks, scratching her eye with the back of her hand.
“I was admiring you, you are beautiful even when you are sleeping.”
“Thank you,” she says shyly.
“Go back to sleep, we have work tomorrow.”
“Come to sleep too,” she invites me, patting her side.
“I’ll just have a drink of water,” I say and get up from the armchair.
“Ah, okay,” she lies down again.
I need to relax my mind, and nothing better than to train a little. I leave the room and go straight to my basement, that’s where I have fun.