IT HURTS
I bite my lips and stared at him for his reply. He doesn’t even take a minute to respond.
” You don’t even need to ask me, Emily. I will be your boyfriend. Like you said, officially. I love you so much. I have been longing to hear these words from you. All I want is you to be happy no matter who you choose. But I always wished I could be the one for you. You have no idea how happy Iam feeling right now.” Ryder said as his hands went to either side of my hips. He lifted me and swirled in a circle. We both smiled and laughed at each other.
” I’m feeling much happier than you, Ryder,” I told him.
” No. I feel happier than you,” we continued arguing who’s more happier. Atleast, he helped me land on my feet.
” I could kiss you right now. Knowing that you are mine. All mine. And I’m yours.” He said and kissed me with all passion. It really feels amazing to hear that word. You are Mine.
I belong to him.
He’s all mine.
Now and forever.
” That’s not all I wanted to say,” I told him and took the bracelets from my jean pocket.
” This is for us,” I wore it around his wrist. The word ‘Always and forever’ is looking beautiful in the sunset.
” I love it, sweetheart. Let me put it in your hand. This has to be the best day of my life.” He wore it around my wrist and admired it on both of our hands.
” Best days with you are yet to come, Ryder. Or can I call you baby? I really wanted to say it.”
” You sure can, sweetheart. I wish I have guessed what you are planning to tell me today.”
” Well, you didn’t and I’m glad about that. I wanted to surprise you.”
” You did. I never felt more alive. All of a sudden, all of my problem vanished in my life. You make me feel so alive.”
” That’s how I feel too, baby. Patrick never understood your friendship even after knowing the truth. I wish he never comes out of the jail.” Suddenly, my emotions shifted to anger.
” I think we have a guarantee over that, Emily. He really is a psycho who can’t see the difference between the truth and a lie. He was affected badly by Emma’s lose which made him like this.”
” Yeah, let’s leave that. I want to concentrate on my life with you. I wish we both could join in the same college.” I tried to change our mood. This isn’t a day about Patrick. It’s about us.
” We will. I would study harder to get accepted in whichever college you are joining.”
” Finally, you are ready to read.” I teased him.
” Because it’s about you, Emily. I wanted to be in your life forever. Even if you gone moved to any country, I would be there for you. I could even do a long-distance relationship if we had a situation.” He said thinking about our future. But there’s nothing to worry about it. I’m not going to move around countries. My dad decided to settle here after a year. Then, we would stay here permanently. After all, I have a future with Ryder here. It’s supposed to happen.
” I’m gonna settled here permanently, Ryder. I have a hundred percent guarantee over it.” I happily told him.
” That’s another best thing I heard today. I love you so much, Emily. I can’t wait to spend my days with you as my girlfriend.” He expressed his feeling.
” I love you too, Ryder. Always and forever. Just like our bracelet says,” I told him seeing our bracelets and gazed into his mesmerizing eyes. I lost in it the day I met him. It’s meant to be.
…..
I reached home after spending my precious time with Ryder. I want to say this to my mom and Pearl. But I have something important to do before that. I called Jason. I don’t know how to say this to him but I should be the one who tells this to him before anybody does.
” Hey, Jason. Can I come to your house now? I wanna talk something important.” I started. My heart hurts as I heard his sweet voice. I couldn’t do this to him but I’m left with no choice. I didn’t love him as I loved Ryder. It kills me to say it to him.
” Hey, Milly. Yeah, sure. But I’d rather come to your house.”
” That’s okay. I will come there. But I wanna say it in call itself before coming to your house, Jason.” I sounded serious and I’m close to tears. Why do I have to be so damn weak?
” Emily, are you crying?” Jason questioned.
” No. I mean… leave it. That’s not important. Months ago, I said I need time to choose. And… I.. I..” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I’m sure about my answer but I can’t hurt Jason.
” You choose Ryder. Is that what you are trying to say?” He finished for me.
” How… I didn’t tell…”
” I can understand what you are trying to say, Milly. You don’t have to cry. Maybe, we should talk about this in person. Can I come there?”
” No, I will be there, Jason. I’m on my way.” I hung up and left the house in just a minute. I arrived at the front of his mansion. The guards let me in because they have already seen me before. Jason invited me inside and we both found an alone place to talk. We stood on the balcony and the silence killed me. It killed me that he’s not uttering a single word. He isn’t looking at me.
” I’m so sorry, Jason. I had feelings for you but…”
” It’s okay, Milly. Don’t think I’m angry cause I’m not.” I silently said.
” But you are disappointed. Is that right?”
” I can’t say no to it. But it takes time to heal. I will be better if you want to know about it.” He said as his eyes fixed on the swimming down below us.
” I hope you get better. But please don’t ignore me. I don’t want to lose your friendship, Jason. Let’s talk about whatever in our heart. Just look at me.” I said placing my hand on his hand. He didn’t move his hand away.
” I’m glad you said that. If I don’t get to be with you, atleast I want to be a part of your life, Milly. Right now, it’s really hard for me to look at you or have this conversation. I know I said okay if you come here now. But it really hurts like hell. I couldn’t control it.” He started speaking freely after some silence. I can’t believe I affected him like this.
” If you need space, I could defiantly give you, Jason,” I told him, ready to leave if that’s what he really wants.
” No. I don’t want you to do that. Stay here.” He told firmly. I couldn’t be more grateful to hear him say that. I could talk all night long to solve this. Jason turned towards the pool once again and ran his hands over his head. This tension and silencing are torturing us more than I thought it did.
Finally, he talked. ” I haven’t eaten anything. Did you?”
” No. I’m not hungry at all,” I answered.
” Well, I’m. Do you want to join me?” I can’t say no.
” Yeah,” I nodded and gone with him to the hall. He said his sister doesn’t like to leave her room and his parents aren’t home yet. We ordered pizza to his mansion and ate together. The more time passes, both of us are getting better. The tension started decreasing.
” It’s hurt that we don’t belong together. But without you, I would have never found that Crystal was after me for money and it is fake love.”
” It’s not me who solved it. You could have done it by yourself too, Jason. She doesn’t deserve you. You would have found out in any way.”
” I don’t think so. I never doubted it. I loved her blindly and she isn’t true to me and only wanted me for my reputation and all other things. But you aren’t like others which made me love you. There are many other things to say about you, Milly. I always thought I could get whatever I want. But now I understand it doesn’t work that way every time.”
I don’t know how to reply to this sentence. I opened my mouth and closed it by failing to say something.
” But my life won’t be miserable because of your decision. If I couldn’t accept your choice, then I don’t love you enough. I want you to be happy. If your choice makes you happy then I’m happy for you too.”
“But I have one last thing that I want. Promise you, you will never leave my life. I want you to be in my life even as a friend.”
” I will, Jason. You don’t even need to ask it. I could never leave you even if you want to. I would never do that. You are an important person in my life. My life is incomplete without you in it.” I promised him and he hugged me, happy enough to still have me as his friend. I would never let my decision break my friendship with Jason.