30

After showering and changing into red pajamas, I made myself comfortable on the couch and impatiently awaited Silvan’s return.
Hopefully he would bring good news after all the crap he had done to Bene. Even though I could forgive his outburst and even understand him in a way, it didn’t mean I felt it was right.
After a short period of brooding, I noticed Igor’s smell, who was apparently sitting outside in the car and was asked by Silvan to take care of me.
As if it were necessary in a house whose windows were made of bulletproof glass.
But I didn’t want to leave him out in the cold, because as a human being he was certainly much more sensitive to temperatures than we wolves are, so I ran to the front door, opened it and looked for him in the darkness.
Sitting in the black SUV, he seemed lost in thought himself until he looked at me and gave me a half-hearted smile.
I nodded to him and waved his hand after he got out of the car and came into the house with me.
“Is everything okay with Bene?” I asked immediately, closing the front door behind him and looking at him curiously.
“Yes, he’s quite the same again,” he said and then let his gaze wander through the living room while he took a deep breath. “You knew all this before, didn’t you?”
His gaze lingered on me, but I avoided him and walked over to the kitchen to put two glasses and a bottle of water on the island.
“Yes,” I said quietly and poured something for both of us before hastily emptying my glass. Getting rid of all these secrets felt incredibly good, but there was constant tension in the air…
Especially the questions made it difficult for me to breathe. Who could I trust? Who was friend, who was enemy?
With these thoughts in mind, I watched Igor sit down on one of the stools and remove his black jacket to drape it over his thighs.
“It’s better that everything is out now,” he then said casually and took a few sips of the water and then looked at me again. “Do not you think so?”
“Yes, of course,” I replied immediately and nodded. “You are all friends and trust should play an important role.”
After my words, Igor’s gaze suddenly became almost rigid and ice cold. It looked like he was mentally far, far away and even seeing right through me.
Was the water out of order?
I was about to reach for the bottle when he grabbed my arm with a jerk and squeezed so hard that I jumped and gasped.
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”, I uttered in shock while trying to free my arm in a panic.
“Listen to me!” he growled softly and pulled me closer to him. “I know something that I shouldn’t know and I can’t deal with it. I overheard it by accident and if I tell Silvan, he’ll kill him, regardless of the losses. But I know that he’ll never do it Jade, you have to help me,” he whispered, as if afraid of being overheard.
His irises flitted across my face in panic, and when he let go of my arm and looked toward the door, I calmed down a little, but I was still paralyzed.
“Jade!” he admonished me quietly and I quickly shook off my fear to give him a questioning look.
“Who would he kill? What are you even talking about?”
When he was about to answer, the door suddenly opened and I almost went into cardiac arrest out of sheer shock, but it was only Silvan who looked at us soaking wet and closed the door again.
“Bene is coming out tomorrow and will take it easy for a while,” I heard him explain, but my eyes were still fixed on Igor, whose words had confused me completely.
“Are you even listening to me?” Silvan then asked and smiled and came over to me to give me a kiss on the cheek and to examine his necklace around my neck.
“It’s really beautiful,” Igor then changed the subject and looked at my chain.
bastard! Why had he only spoken in riddles and now ruined my head with it???
Instead of having a quiet time with Silvan, only questions flew through my mind again! Was I in some movie where only trouble followed trouble so the audience wouldn’t get bored?
That’s how I really felt now.
After Igor had said goodbye and Silvan disappeared into the shower, I stood in front of Silvan’s bookshelf and rummaged through his collection to distract myself, which didn’t really help.
I then got caught by a black book that had no writing and curiously took it in my hands to sit down on the bed with it.
When I opened it, time suddenly stopped. My heart was beating so hard that I could no longer hold the book and my breathing stopped while I was no longer aware of anything around me.
“Dad,” I just breathed and took a closer look at the photo that was in my trembling hand.
There were Silvan and Viola, who were much younger, and also his father and mother, but it was something else that completely threw me off track.
There was another child, a girl, who looked exactly like my father.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
Silvan appeared in the room with only a white towel around his waist and sat down next to me while I was still staring at the photo and unable to answer.
“That’s Lisana,” he then said in a sad voice and took the picture from my hand to look at it wistfully.
His murdered sister who looked like my father who seemed to have disappeared without a trace for 2 years…
What did that mean ?
****
The days went by far too quickly and passed me by without a trace, while the first snow was already falling outside and everything was shining in new splendor.
I just loved the cold season.
Bene was fine again, thanks to his great genes, and he and Igor were sitting together on our kitchen island, where they were chatting with Silvan about everything and everything.
It almost seemed too idyllic to me, especially because it just seemed like the calm before the raging storm…
I sat on the dark couch, listened to the soft music of the system and kept drifting in my mind to the photo and everything I had experienced here while staring at the window.
Something wasn’t right… Something wasn’t right, because why should the hunters only hunt bosses? Were there lowers and uppers for them at all? Shouldn’t humans see us as one big pack? There was a piece of the puzzle missing and it now seemed like only I could figure out what was really going on.
“Can I do you something good?” Suddenly Silvan interrupted my thoughts, standing in front of me and looking at me questioningly.
His tight white t-shirt showed the contours of his muscles and the lines of his tattoos, but I tried to behave and not mentally undress him, at least while we had company over there.
Spending time with him was just gorgeous, as was the almost white landscape outside, and with his looks and charm, it’s no wonder we made love every night like animals in heat.
Oh God!
Cheeks flushed at the thought of our making love, I avoided his gaze, shaking my head in the negative. He had just made me some tea and I had already eaten.
So basically, with his absence, I had everything I needed to live.
“Okay,” he said when I shook my head and gave me a loving kiss on my forehead before he disappeared back into the kitchen with the others.
Looking at the three of them, I thought to myself that it would certainly have bothered other women if there were always visitors, but I was even happy about it.
It’s been just me and Devin for the last few years and it was nice not to feel lonely for once and since the nights were just me and my mate alone it didn’t bother at all if they were here during the day.
Besides, I grew very fond of them…
As soon as the three of them started talking animatedly about some winter festival, I was immediately taken up again by the thousands of questions that constantly wore my mind down.
Why had my father fled with my mother…?
Why did the hunters only hunt superiors…?
Where did the hate come from, because Silvan’s father hated everyone below…?
Why did Silvan’s mother seem so isolated from the rest of the pack…?
I got up nervously, walked to the window and looked at the road leading down to the city.
Everything was white and the beautiful lights everywhere just gave an idea of how wonderful it would look here at Christmas.
As I then turned to the men, all three of whom laughed so carefree together, I wished I had never seen this photo of Silvan’s sister.
It poisoned my mind and didn’t allow me to fully relax even for a moment.
She looked like my father, which meant something. Was he maybe? But that was just impossible!
Even if my father had had something with Silvan’s mother that seemed almost completely absurd, it was still impossible for a child to develop from it…
Silvan had explained it himself that you could only procreate with your mate… So what the hell was going on here?!?!?
“Jade?” I heard Silvan’s worried voice close to me and only through this, I realized that I had clenched my fists and growled out of sheer confused thoughts. “What’s going on?” he then asked and took me carefully in his arms.
“I miss Devin,” I quickly lied, knowing he’d believe me immediately, even if there were other things bothering me.
“We can visit him if you want, although I’d rather wait outside then,” Silvan whispered sympathetically with a small smile on his lips, which immediately made me roll my eyes with a grin.
“You really should, because I never want to stand between two men holding a gun ever again,” I explained, standing on my tiptoes to demand a kiss from him.
“You’ll never have to do that again. I’m doing my best to control my temper,” he breathed seductively and then bit my lower lip lightly, sending goosebumps down my arms.
“As long as you don’t rein it in bed, that’s fine with me,” I whispered, just about to play with my tongue on his when I heard Igor clear his throat loudly.
“Shall we join in? Or rather go?” Bene laughed out loud and immediately Silvan turned to him with an evil grin.
“You wouldn’t survive taking part, so maybe you’d rather go.”
“No,” I said immediately, looking at Silvan almost begging. “Let them stay a little longer. I enjoy having something like my own little pack,” I said smiling and then winked at Igor and Bene, who looked just as satisfied as me.
“For once,” Silvan turned to me before he looked at the others warningly. “Then behave now!”
“That’s what the right person says,” Bene grinned and Silvan left me there to continue drinking whiskey with the two of them and to keep up the good mood.
I, on the other hand, stared out the window again and went through everything all over again.
How so …
Why …
And then, quite unexpectedly, it dawned on me and I widened my eyes in disbelief before holding my breath in shock.
“Of course,” I whispered to myself, looking at myself in the reflection in the window.
****
I waited with total inner turmoil for Silvan to finally fall asleep next to me while I tried to keep myself awake.
Since I didn’t know what this night would bring me, I looked at him again very carefully and dreamed of my life with him. He looked so peaceful and with a single tear slowly running down my cheek, I got up with a heavy heart and left the room as quietly as possible.
It was my fight not his and if I had told him what I was up to he would never have let me go so I could only take the initiative and search for the truth at night.
In my room, I pulled on a dark brown jacket, slipped on light-colored jeans and padded down the stairs to put on my white sneakers.
One last look at my new home and I opened the front door and breathed in the cold air that came towards me and slowly filled my lungs while giving me a feeling of freedom.
I closed the door behind me, put the hood of the jacket over my brown hair and then made my way to the forest, which looked simply fantastically beautiful with all the snow.
The white powder crunched with every step I took, and strangely enough, despite the darkness, I felt no fear at all. I just wanted answers and I knew exactly who I would get them from.
Walking deeper and deeper into the forest, at some point I recognized almost nothing of my surroundings and could only orientate myself on the tracks I had left in the snow.
And then, deep in the forest, I closed my eyes and just breathed in and out very calmly, while fully concentrating on my hearing.
The cold air enveloped me, but thanks to my genes, it didn’t bother me at all, and then when I heard a faint noise on my right side, I opened my eyes again and ran in the direction from which I had heard it.
“You,” I called a little louder and stopped in front of a big tree, which I knew was someone behind it. “Come out. I know you’re there.”
Well, I just had much better instincts than some simple hunter who probably hadn’t even noticed that I was near him before.
I held my breath in anticipation and then, heart racing, waited for someone to finally show up.
“Miguel?” I spoke again, but more quietly and he immediately showed up to give me a questioning look.
He looked the same as last time, in his blue vest and red lumberjack shirt, and somehow seeing Bene’s mate up close brought a fleeting smile to my face.
They somehow fit together and looking into his green eyes I also had the feeling that he would be one of the good guys.
“From where-”
“From Bene and no, that’s not why I’m here. I want you to take me to your camp,” I then explained calmly and immediately noticed his startled expression.
“You are… They will make you… What are you doing there?”
He stuttered almost every single word and took a few steps towards me. His dark winter boots sank into the snow and when I glanced at his hands, I immediately noticed the extreme shaking.
Was it because of me or because of the cold? Should I offer him my jacket?
“I just want to chat and yes I know what I am and yes I realize what they might do to me but I am full of hope and confidence.”
Surprised by my own words, I looked at him pleadingly and after he just stared thoughtfully through me for a while, he nodded in concern and then hesitantly turned to walk ahead of me into the darkness.
“Is there a way to stop you?” he asked into the silence and looked deep into my eyes for a moment before concentrating on running again.
“Why do you want to dissuade me? As a hunter, you should be happy that I voluntarily enter the lion’s den.”
He suddenly stopped and turned to give me a warm look.
“Your Jade, that was immediately clear to me and Bene said so many good things about you. Believe me, if something happens to you, it will break his heart,” he explained and then avoided my eyes. “And he might break all my bones.”
Surprised by his concern for me, I put my hand on his shoulder and tried to calm him down a bit.
It’s funny that you were never scared yourself during such actions, but others seemed to be dying of worry.
“I’m almost sure that everything will turn out fine,” I whispered and then followed him further through the forest until I suddenly noticed many different smells in this white darkness and also saw a small fire in the distance.
“I’ll go on alone,” I said to Miguel, but he grabbed my arm and looked at me pleadingly again.
“No matter what you do, you can always go back,” he explained calmly, as if he were a wise old man, but there was no turning back for me.
“Take care, Miguel. Bene is lucky.”
Those were my last words before I continued my way through the snow alone.
The fire got bigger and bigger, the crackling of the sticks louder and louder and the smells penetrated my mind more and more intensely until I stopped hiding behind a tree to take a closer look around.
My eyes recognized several men sitting on logs around the fire. Tents stood behind them and they all shivered despite the warmth of the fire.
Except for one…
One last deep breath and I carefully put one foot in front of the other until I was almost at the fire and all eyes were on me.
They jumped up like I was a monster and each of them drew a different weapon, which they all pointed in my direction, but I showed them no fear, no weakness. I was too proud for that.
I turned my gaze to the one man who was still sitting calmly on one of the logs and smiling looking into the fire.
“Jadelyn,” he greeted me quietly and I took off my hood, after which he turned his gaze to me.
“Father”.
*****
Once upon a time there were two men who could not have been more different, for while one was destined to become a powerful Alpha, the other was bestowed a simple life.
The moon goddess, however, seemed to take a special delight in giving something to unite wolves who seemed so dissimilar…
A mate made for two wolves.
Something special could have come out of it.
Something that was supposed to be simple, but it wasn’t, and the moon goddess was sorely mistaken…
—
“How did you know I’m here?”
My father and I ran into the darkness away from the fire and looked for a suitable place to finally answer so many unanswered questions.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, shrugging as I gazed thoughtfully down at the snow. “It was like an epiphany. You would never harm us below and I knew your opinion of the upper ones only too well. That’s how it became clear to me somehow.”
I looked over at him as he stood there in his gray wool sweater and heavy black trousers, and although I wasn’t cold from the surroundings, I shivered slightly at the sight of him.
Who knew what had happened in two years? I had changed completely within a few weeks… maybe he too…
“You’ve always represented my opinion of the superiors,” he then said quietly and walked around me like a predator. I remembered Silvan circling me as a wolf, but I didn’t feel afraid then… I do now…
“Opinions can change,” I then raised my voice, causing him to jerk to a halt in front of me and eye me up and down.
His gaze fell on my chain, which you could see hanging around my neck despite my jacket, and when he looked deep into my eyes, I felt this abysmal hatred, as if it were my own. He smelled him … Smelled Silvan and that’s what drove him into this desperate rage.
“Of course they can if you’re naive enough to let yourself be influenced.”
He avoided my gaze and kept pacing around me, over and over, making me more nervous than ever. The crunching of the snow was the only thing that calmed me down in this fiery situation.
“Or when you finally recognize the truth,” I replied decisively and walked over to a tree trunk to lean against it. “Please tell me that you are not responsible for the fact that so many wolves died!”
I already knew it was him, but I still believed in a miracle… Maybe I was just a little bit naive.
“Wolves? You mean scum!” he snarled furiously, glaring at me with an icy stare that made my heart skip a beat. The first tears formed in my eyes when I realized, bitterly, that this man was no longer my father.
“One of your hunters would have killed me if it hadn’t been for Silvan,” I breathed through tears and immediately I felt his hand tighten painfully around my wrist.
“Silvan?!”, he yelled almost insanely angry and immediately I snatched my hand from him to raise my chin proudly.
“Yes,” I hissed softly, not letting his gaze go. “Silvan. My mate!”
His eyes widened and as if he didn’t want to believe my words, he slowly shook his head…
“Jadelyn,” he whispered, coming very close to my face. “You’re not safe there!”
“But with you? With a murderer?!”, I screamed back, stunned by everything and next I felt this pain on my cheek, which I then held in tears. It wasn’t the physical pain of his blow that made me doubt everything, but the pain inside me that threatened to destroy everything.
“How dare you take their side! After what they did to your sister!”
As if regretting what he had said, he covered his face with his hands and then looked away from me, but there was no way he was avoiding me now.
I knew it! The picture had given away part of his secret, but I wanted to know everything.
“I know that Lisana was your daughter. I just don’t know how that’s possible! I also don’t know who is responsible for her death and I don’t know anymore who is the good guy and who the bad guy.” I explained in a desperate voice, wiping away the tears that were constantly streaming down my cheeks…
“Of course he!” he yelled, tearing at his dark hair. “Your mate’s father raped her, killed her and threw her in the woods! Everything should point to me, but he just couldn’t face the fact that his mate was mine too.”
“Oh God,” I breathed, crying bitterly, and although I’d never met my half-sister, the truth hurt me more than I could have ever known…
“Jadelyn,” my father tried to calm me down, but when I felt his hands on mine, I shook them off immediately and wanted to get past him and back to Silvan…
The only one who could banish this darkness.
“You have to listen to me,” my father said in a despairing voice and took hold of my wrist again. “I never wanted anyone else to get hurt. I just wanted him… you know me.”
For a while I looked deep into his eyes, but then I turned my gaze back to the darkness that lay before me.
“Where’s Mama?”
“She lives in safety.”
I took my hand back, took a deep breath and then calmly turned back to him to look into his eyes that were sparkling with tears.
“These attacks stop on the spot! I followed my destiny and now Luna of this pack! You will withdraw and everything else is now up to Silvan and me.”
I was about to leave, but then I stopped again and paused for a moment.
“And you are banished forever. You took life from my pack and no matter how tragic the reasons, that is unforgivable.”
It broke my heart, but this was no longer about me, I saw the big picture and now it was my job to put the pieces of the past together again.
“I’m sorry,” I heard him calling after me in the stillness of the night, but I didn’t turn around… Never again..