Lost in my confused thoughts, I walked my way back to the house in a constant rhythm, without noticing anything else than the crunching of the snow under my equally white shoes.
The worst chaos was raging in my head, an all-destroying storm, but on the outside I couldn’t see it at all.
My movements were calm, almost too calm, and I was enveloped in a white darkness that completely swallowed me.
The blunt truth hit me with every breath, not that my father killed werewolves, but that he wasn’t capable of being my father at all…
So as I continued to wander through the trees, my own mind was screaming at me…
He yelled that only mates were meant to father successors, so Lisanna wasn’t my half-sister at all either, which didn’t make her death any less tragic…
Add to that the bitter fact that she was killed by Silvan’s father…
Holy shit it all sucked!!!
The closer I got to the house, the further away I felt.
All these thoughts, which wouldn’t stop spinning, made me so dizzy for a moment that I had to hold on to the trees circling around me. At least I tried, but I couldn’t stand up on my shaky legs because I was so weak.
With my eyes fixed on the darkness, I knelt in the snow and felt unable to cope with all these problems and tragedies.
A brother who turned his back on me was tolerable because despite everything, I knew that he loved me more than anything and only wanted the best for me and my life.
A man who kidnapped me and drove me insane was manageable because I was madly in love with him and forgave him long ago.
A homosexual who had an enemy as a mate was tolerable, too, because their love for each other didn’t give a damn which side they were on.
But knowing that my mate’s father had killed his sister, and that my… whatever he was to me, werewolves had slaughtered… almost me too… It was all unbearable and nagging at me the thought that nothing would ever be fine again.
So I sat there for hours, trapped inside myself, fighting trauma. Incidentally, I noticed that the sun was rising behind the gray clouds and still didn’t dare to move even a millimeter.
As long as I sat here and didn’t move, I didn’t have to answer this one question that was painfully seared into my mind…
What should I do now with my knowledge?
I would have liked to forget everything again, but that was not possible. But it was also not possible to tell Silvan the truth.
He would kill him out of anger and never forgive himself because he was still his father…
Wait a moment!
My eyes widened in disbelief and I remembered my funny conversation with Igor. He also said that Silvan would kill someone and would never forgive himself.
He knew… He had somehow noticed and had asked for my help and here, sitting desperately in the snow, I realized for the first time how helpless he really felt.
I immediately realized that I wasn’t alone. At least I had him and Bene seemed to be doing better again. I also trusted him and even if I didn’t want Silvan to find out now, this man, who called himself his father, still had to be punished.
I got up carefully, rubbed the snow off my legs and stomped through the forest faster than ever.
It was getting lighter and brighter around me and with the certainty that I didn’t have to deal with this burden alone, a bit of hope came back.
After so many hours of desperation, truths and grief, I finally opened the door to my home and saw Silvan standing in the kitchen, eyeing me questioningly.
I closed the door behind me, took off my shoes and jacket and then slowly walked towards him.
“Morning,” he said quietly as I sat down on the stool and took a deep breath. “Where have you been?” he then asked, leaning on the kitchen island to eye me intently.
“I cleared that with the hunters. They won’t be a problem anymore.”
I just wanted to be honest, just keep a few things to myself, which was probably better when I saw him, because his initially stunned look turned into an angry one that made me hold my breath.
“Are you actually out of your mind!!?” he yelled out of the blue, throwing his coffee cup against the wall next to us, sending shards flying everywhere.
Shocked, I jumped up from the stool and clutched my racing heart before I looked at him again, irritated.
“No! But you apparently!” I yelled back, about to head for the stairs when he grabbed my wrist to pull me back.
“Jade! It’s enough! Do you actually know what could have happened?!”
He was seething with anger and his grip on my wrist was becoming tighter and more painful, and I struggled to free myself.
“But nothing happened! On the contrary!” I justified myself and then looked deep into his dark eyes. “You hurt me, Silvan.”
He let go of me immediately, ran his hands through his black hair, completely overwhelmed, and took another deep breath.
“You won’t be leaving this house for a while.”
“But-”
“But nothing! You could have died and didn’t think of me for a second! You stay here and there is no need for further discussion!”
Did he still have them all?
“So that’s what you mean by mutual respect and a relationship of equals? I thought we were done with that! I asked him angrily, but he was already turning away from me and didn’t seem to be listening at all anymore.
He pulled his black jacket over his white shirt, then walked to the door and put on his sneakers before turning back to me.
“Respect is something that has to be earned. I can’t respect someone who just let me down without thinking about the consequences!”
I avoided his eyes and only looked down at my feet, hurt by his words.
“You’ll tell me later exactly what happened to the hunters. I’ll be back in two hours.”
He pulled the door open and then slammed it so hard that I jumped slightly and then all I could hear was the click of the key.
Welcome back to prison
****
SILVAN
In a rage, I yanked open the door of the black SUV and hurriedly climbed in to catch a glimpse of the forest ahead.
He looked beautiful through the snow and radiated a pleasant calm, but unfortunately that was only deceptive.
In the midst of this sea of white wood were people who wanted my life and that of my pack members.
Also on Jade, who had apparently become completely fearless by now. How could she just run off in the middle of the night and go to those hunters? Had she thought for a second what the consequences might have been?
What if I lost her?
I jumped from a pang in my heart and didn’t want to think about it anymore. A life without her would no longer be an option for me… I didn’t want a life like that at all.
With my hands on the steering wheel, I looked again at the front door, which I had just so furiously locked and while I was still furious that she had left without speaking to me, I still had no right to take her freedom .
I sighed and got out, ran again through the snow to the front door and unlocked it.
“Thank you!”, I heard her snotty call from inside and walked away smiling back to the car.
Then when I got back in, I tried to think again, how did she mean that she had everything sorted out?
Had she, as a wolf, torn up all the hunters one by one? I would have preferred that…
Lost in thought, I started the engine of my car and then made my way to my father, who wanted to talk to me about something important. On the way I picked up Igor, who sat shivering and shaking in the passenger seat.
“Silvan!” He stuttered loudly and looked over at me with a crazy look. “Please turn on the heating! I don’t have a body temperature of 50 degrees like you!”
He rubbed his hands and immediately, grinning, I turned on the heating.
“You know, one bite from me and you’ll be a wolf too. No more cold. Think about it.”
“Yeah, we can do that when I’m ready.”
I looked at him briefly and then drove on. Igor was somehow really inscrutable at times. He had a werewolf mate and still declined to become one himself. I didn’t know why that was, but maybe he was just afraid of the transformation. After all, some people unfortunately did not survive and died miserably from the fever that was triggered by the bite. But Igor? He was young and strong. With him I was sure that he would survive.
“Why does your father even want to see us so early?”
He looked over at me questioningly, but I didn’t know myself, so I just shrugged and pulled into the driveway of the huge mansion.
“I don’t know. But it won’t be good,” I said casually while staring at my father, who angrily ran towards us.
“A homosexual in my pack?!!!!” he yelled so loudly that even in the car I thought my eardrums would burst.
“How does he know?” Igor whispered, but again all I could do was shrug.
Before I got out to face his yelling, I just nodded to Igor, who then got out of the car with me.
“Where is he?!?” he growled, glancing between me and Igor as he unbuttoned the top button of his black shirt as if he was choking on breath from all the screaming.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I replied coolly and calmly, but that only made him angrier.
“Oh, you don’t know that??? Has the bottom one screwed your brains out yet?!?”
Okay, that’s it for my rest.
I grabbed his collar, threw him to the ground with a growl and was about to punch him when suddenly Viola appeared behind him.
“Get your hands off daddy!” she hissed angrily, holding a gun trembling at me. I looked at her with wide eyes and didn’t understand at all why she was doing this now.
“You want to shoot me?” I asked her stunned and sat up again to look deep into her dark eyes. Her hands were shaking so badly while she kept blinking and seemed completely overwhelmed herself.
“No, I don’t want to. But whether I do it is entirely up to you!”
Trevis then also appeared next to her and looked at her just as irritated as Igor and I, while my father slowly got up again.
“Viola, put the gun down,” he said, brushing the snow off his clothes.
“Why should I?” she said coldly and aimed the gun right at my head. “What happened to her, Silla? You attack papa because of a girl you despised not long ago and I followed you in the woods! Bene is not only homosexual, he even meets up with the hunters ! And you? You’re not doing anything about it! You’ve become a great alpha!”
All eyes were on my sister, whose nervous gaze was all alone on me.
“What would make a great alpha for you?” I asked her, slowly walking towards her, which made her even more nervous. “Should I cast out Jade, who is the only one who loves me the way I am? Should I cast out Bene because he loves men? Then I would have to cast out you too! After all, your mate is also a minor!”
I kept walking towards her very calmly until I came to a stop right in front of her and she put the gun down with tears in her eyes.
“It used to be just you, me, dad and mom. But now I don’t have anyone anymore,” she sobbed, throwing herself into my arms. “I want my brother back!”, she whispered and carefully I took the gun from her hand and then pressed her tightly to me.
“I’m here, Viola. I’m here,” I tried to calm her down, but she just shook her curly head and broke away from me, crying.
“Nobody’s there anymore. Mama is only in her bedroom and cries her heart out every day. Papa is so driven by his thoughts of revenge that he doesn’t notice anything else and you’re hardly here anymore. Everything is always spinning about other things. Only I will be forgotten by all of you.”
She wiped away her tears, glanced at our father and then back at me.
“I thought if I told dad about Bene, he would talk you into your senses and you would be the same. I’m sorry.”
I hugged her tightly again and gave her a kiss on her forehead while my gaze fell to my father.
“You leave Bene alone. I accept him the way he is, so the rest of the pack has to do the same,” I said assertively, waiting for his nod of agreement, even though I immediately noticed that he didn’t accept it at all . He would cause even more trouble, but building Viola was more important to me now than imposing my will on him.
“You come with me and Jade. A few days of rest will do you good,” I turned back to Viola, who then looked at me confused.
“But Jade will certainly not approve of that.”
“Yes she will. You’ll be amazed what a caring person is behind the stubborn, stubborn facade.”
When Viola gave me a half-hearted smile, I pushed her back to my car and held the back door open for her, then got in the front with Igor. I had nothing more to say to my father and Trevis would be fine on his own for a few days.
“Thanks.”