Dylan and I sat side by side on the terrace of our room. My wife was asleep while Dylan and I decided to have a drink. I still have a few glasses but I feel a little dizzy as he is getting more but it still seems like nothing.
I let out a heavy and long sigh. I looked up as he did the same. We didn’t say a word and just felt for each other. Eventually, he also broke the silence.
“Drink more,” he said and then drank a bottle of whiskey and opened another.
“I’m not as high as your tolerance for alcohol.” No one spoke to the two of us again and he just continued to drink.
We quietly drank again. Lileth had been asleep but before she fell asleep she talked to us. Talked about random things and we did nothing but laugh earlier after we cried in the kitchen.
I am happy to see how happy she is. Memories flash of the day when Dylan and I were still happy and we were still together. Everything we did before the tragedy happened to their son.
“Remember the first time we go to the orphanage? It was valentine’s day, your 9th birthday.” Out of nowhere, I said.
“Yeah, why?”
“That was the first time I saw her,” I said.
“Really?” he asked and then straightened up.
“Yeah, though she was 14 at that time I like her since then, you?” I ask and I saw him smile. In his face, he was obviously refreshing the past.
“My 10th birthday at the mansion when we invited the orphans.” I was 11th at that time.
“You hugged him suddenly and everyone was surprised.” We both laugh when we remember that. I can’t forget that because I was jealous for no reason.
“Yeah, I was mesmerized by her beauty, she’s like a goddess standing while smiling at me when dad introduced her to me as an older sister.”
“Same, she’s like an angel when I saw her running while catching the kids in the orphanage so I liked her right away.”
“I don’t want her to be my sister so I hugged her.”
“With malice.” And I burst out in laughter.
“Stupid, I wasn’t horny before so there’s no malice in me yet. All I really want is to hug her. I’m very nice to her.”
“How does it feel to have a crush on a woman five years older than you?” He drank first and then fell silent as if thinking.
“It’s difficult, there are insecurities because at first, she didn’t take me seriously. I was thirteen when I admitted to her my feelings and 15 when I stole a kiss on the lips. She doesn’t take me seriously because she thinks I’m young, you, she’s four years older than you so how do you feel?”
“Not, at all, we weren’t together when we were kids. We are both mature when we were together, remember? I am 21 at that time and she was 25.”
“Two years, after we lost our baby, and she left me.” I didn’t answer because I knew ten years had passed since his son disappeared it was still painful to him what had happened. It was his first child so maybe he would be able to recover.
No one spoke to us again and we just kept on drinking. Until he opened another conversation.
“I will tell you something,” he started.
“Spill it.”
“Lileth decided to donate her organs once she will fall into a coma.” I looked at him who was still staring at the sky.
“What?”
“The doctor said that only her cervix has damage but the other organs are still ok since she did not undergo chemotherapy.”
“And you agreed?”
“If I am the one to be asked, I will not agree. But her decision is complete and one more thing, it’s better so that somehow a part of her personality will still be left to us. She has already signed a weaver and she already has selected recipients.”
“Patients?”
“All her organs. Eyes, kidneys, liver, heart, everything.”
I bent down and started to cry.
‘So this really goodbye? Will I accept that just like that? Will he leave me? Gone, done. She’s going to die and I’m all alone?’
“Remember the beach house that I bought near Dela Merced’s vacation house in Pangasinan?” he calls my attention.
“In the place where you are proposed to her?”
“Yes.”
“What about that place?”
“I asked my caretaker to arrange the place. Bring Lileth there. She wants to go there.” I know that place. Dylan bought that when he was 18 from his first salary in street fighting because she loves the beach. I also proposed to her there and Dylan and I have a lot of memories back then on the beach.
“You want me to bring Lileth there?”
“Yes, time is running. Give her the best last memory.”
“You will come with us?”
“I don’t know. I will try, maybe yes, maybe no but that doesn’t matter. You and she are important to be together there. You two as a couple.” I keep quiet. I don’t know what I’m going to say next.
“Dylan,” I called without looking at him.
“Hmph?”
“My bad man because I didn’t protect her. And now I can do nothing for her. I can’t erase or even alleviate the pain she has.”
“We cannot do anything, all we have to do is stay with her until her end. I don’t want to admit it, because I don’t want it to happen. But we have to face the reality that every one of us will die someday, and Lileth is not exempted. She will be the first. At least, we can make her happy before she leaves. Not only for her but for us also. Good memories indeed.”
Dylan looks calm while saying that. It was as if he had already accepted what would happen to Lileth. But I know deep inside his hurting.
“Dylan, how can you remain calm?”
“I am the only one who will be hurt if I will get affected. You know how I love her and the loss of Lileth is one of the most painful things that will happen to me because I will never see her again. But I need to be strong, for her, sorry to disappoint you but I believe that —— that even Lileth will leave us, I am still hoping that she will come back ……” She looked at me and smiled. “… For me.”
“You really love her that much, don’t you?”
“The first and the last. If she wasn’t the only one I could be with, I would choose to be like this forever. She was my guide, my protector, my strength, and my weakness.” Then he looked at me. “When she left me, I lost everything I have. I don’t know who I am,” he said while looking straight into my eyes.
Now, I just realize how stupid I am. Dylan and I are the same when it comes to love. But with the two of us, I was lucky because the one I loved came to me while I was just hurt. While Dylan was waiting to for her come back and I was hoping to punish the husband for the sin she didn’t commit.
While Dylan was dreaming of being with her, I wasted the time the two of us were together. While Dylan was hurting, I was in me but I didn’t appreciate her presence.
“What will I do?” Out of nowhere, I asked. “What will I do in case she leaves me?”
“I can’t answer you, Dave, because like you, I’m having a hard time and you know why.”
“I’m sorry, Dylan.”
“Please make her happy for the last time, Dave. Give her a happy memories that only you can give before she disappears.”
Then we both cried at the same time.