“Okay, gonna have a beer with the guys then,” Duncan sent back as soon as he got her text.
He and the guys drove to a bar near their office where they would normally catch a drink or two after work and talk about their wives and girlfriends, or sports. Duncan was able to hold his own with most of the conversation, but when it came to bragging about his sexual exploits, he was never comfortable with talking about his wife. She was too sweet and pure, too innocent and sexy and wonderful to be dragged into the filthy conversations that his friends had.
“So I had her tied up on the bed, both hands tied behind her back, and I’m plugging away from behind and then we hear this knock at the door,” a friend named Drake was saying.
“Dad,” said Mark, another of his friends.
“Hell yeah, Dad,” Drake continued.
“What’d you do with Molly?”
“What could I do? The door was opening, so I rolled her ass off the bed and yanked my underwear up and she smacked into the dresser. My five[year old came in but luckily didn’t see mommy swearing through her gag at daddy,” Drake finished, downing his beer afterwards.
Duncan shook his head.
“Needless to say, we lock the door now.”
“Shit, I’m surprised that she lets you anymore,” Max, yet another of Duncan’s friends, said as he too downed his beer.
“Did Drake tell you about his new babysitter?” Mark asked as he turned and looked at Max and Duncan.
Both men shrugged.
“So I was over the other day for a minute and they’d both just gotten home. I see this pretty blonde girl leaving as I pull up. She was tall, had tan skin, long blonde hair and great set of perky titties.”
Drake grinned and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, she’s fuckin’ hot.”
“So I go inside and ask Molly if she knows how hot her babysitter is? She nods and smiles at me and says, ‘Yes, I do.’ She says, ‘The secret to keeping a man is to keep his stomach full and his balls empty.’ I told her that may be the true, but if you leave him alone around something that fuckin’ sexy, don’t be surprised if you come home and he’s waist deep in the babysitter.”
The guys all burst out laughing then. Their waitress came by then and asked the guys if they wanted another round of drinks. Most said yes, but Duncan declined. He noticed Mark leaning over and making grabbing motion at the young girl’s ass to him and chuckled.
The girl turned and raised an eyebrow at him, causing Mark to throw up his hands in defeat.
“Baby, I was just trying to see if you had one handful or two down there,” Mark said with a grin.
“Well here then, take a better look and let me know what you think,” she said playfully. She turned around and faced away from the table and bent over slightly.
“I’d say two maybe two and a half,” Mark said with a grin. “If I could get my hands on it, I could get a more accurate measurement.”
She smirked at him and patted him on chest. “Honey, you couldn’t handle what I’ve got down there. Plus, I wouldn’t want to beat your ass in front of your friends.”
“Daaaaamn,” went the collective group gathered at the table, followed by a raucous chorus of laughter.
Duncan had to laugh and patted Mark on the shoulder. A few minutes later she came back with the beers.
Duncan leaned over and whispered an apology in her ear, to which she just smiled and winked. “I get it all the time, sexy,” she whispered back and then he felt her give him a peck on the cheek.
“Be careful Duncan, we might tell Kelly on you!” yelled one of his buddies.
The waitress turned and shook a finger at him. “That’s breaking the guy code,” she scolded. “Besides, it’d be worth it,” she said as she turned and wiped at Duncan’s cheek, attempting to remove the lipstick she’d left behind.
Duncan, thoroughly surprised and embarrassed, shook his head and stood to leave.
“Oh, come on man, we were just kidding!” Drake yelled.
“Yeah, come on man, don’t leave yet. We haven’t even gotten to tease you about your wife yet!” Mark said.
Laughing, Duncan began to walk towards the door. “I’ll catch you guys at the office tomorrow.”
*****
Marie hugged Kelly and ushered her inside. “Come on in and head to the living room.”
“Is Ed here?” Kelly asked as she headed towards the couch.
“Yeah, but he’s up in his office. I told him not to bother us,” Marie replied.
Kelly turned and shot Marie a concerned glance.
“Oh stop, Kelly, he’s not going to come downstairs.”
“Did you tell him why I came here?”
“Hell no I didn’t tell him that, I wouldn’t be able to get him to leave!”
Kelly smiled at that and turned, resuming her walk to the living room.
She paused as she entered the room and came around the couch. “Good Lord, Marie!”
The array of sexual aids that Marie had laid out was staggering, if not comical.
Kelly stood at the edge of couch, stunned, as Marie went around her and sat down.
At least 20 or so devices of varying shapes and sizes were on the table in front of the couch. Kelly finally came around the edge of the couch and sat down.
“What on earth would you need all these for, wouldn’t one be enough?”
Marie smiled and shrugged. “I just need to know how big your husband is, so we can get a good basis for you to practice.”
“Well…” Kelly started looking at the dildos. “Are they at least clean?”
Marie laughed out loud. “No, Kelly, I put them away dirty. Yes, of course they’re clean! What kind of person do you think I am?”
Kelly laughed lightly at that and peered down at the selection.
“Well,” she said, picking up a giant one. “He’s big, but he’s not deformed,” she said, putting it back on the table.
“Oh that’s Big Blue, he’s for special occasions,” Marie said.
“I don’t want to know,” Kelly said, raising a hand.
She closed her eyes and envisioned her husband’s penis. Thinking the word “penis” however, instantly made her think of him peeing and she thought of him flaccid. She shook her head.
“Cock,” she said quietly. That did it. She instantly pictured her husband’s cock, erect and sliding into her.
She opened her eyes and looked down at the table.
“What are you doing, praying for the answer?” Marie asked.
“No, I was just trying to picture my husband’s… penis, and I kept seeing it flaccid,” she said, picking up a dildo.