Ryland must have felt her emotions ten times worse than us because of his mark on her neck. What I felt makes me sick to my stomach, so whatever he feels must be crippling. Ryland’s skin returns to normal, and his breathing slows. He closes his eyes, fighting against every emotion running through him, replacing it with a rage so strong, it nearly knocks me over.
“I don’t understand; she was fine. What did I do?” he asks, questioning himself, questioning everything he did, guilt and anger flooding into me.
“You did nothing. Something must have triggered something,” Orion tells him as he looks over at Evelyn in my arms. I inhale her scent and can no longer smell fear radiating off her, and her body relaxes in my arms as she stirs. “We can ask her when she wakes up,” Orion says, staring at her as she stirs in my arms.
Walking downstairs, I sit with her on my lap, her head on my shoulder. Orion hands me the bottle of pills and places a glass of water on the lamp table next to me.
“She will wake soon; I can feel her consciousness fighting to come back,” Ryland says, watching her worriedly.
Orion sits next to me, and I open the bottle of pills, finding two left. “How many?” I ask, looking at Orion.
“Lisa gave her two,” he says, a little unsure.
“Were there more in her bag?” I ask. Orion shakes his head. “One of us might have to head to the city.”
“I will go; I am faster,” Orion says.
“Shouldn’t you be here when she wakes? I can go.”
“Why?” he asks while putting on his jacket.
“You know why; she likes you more,” I tell him, though it pains me to say it.
“You will be fine; just don’t yell at her or force her to do anything. Ryland will be here, and I will only be gone for an hour, max. If you go, or Ryland, you won’t be back till tonight,” he says, and I nod, knowing he is right. Orion is way quicker and knows his way around the city better.
“Maybe when she wakes up, phone Amara,” Orion says, making my eyes snap to him. I haven’t spoken to my sister in years. “If she won’t tell us what happened, maybe Amara may know.”
“Amara would need a photo or something of hers to pick her up,” I tell him.
“Just see what she says when she wakes up. She might tell us, if she feels comfortable enough,” Orion says.
“Maybe I should go?” Ryland offers.
Orion shakes his head. “You can feel her emotions, know what they are. You should stay. I won’t be long. By the way, what she was muttering was her trying to ground herself. I read a book on it once. Panic attacks can lessen or stop if they ground themselves. Something they can see, something they can feel, and something they can touch and taste,” Orion tells us.
I raise an eyebrow at what he just told us. “Makes no sense to me,” I tell him.
“No, but obviously it does to her.”
I nod and watch as he bolts out the door. Ryland gets up, shutting it behind him. Slowly, he comes back and sits next to me, brushing her hair out of her face.
We sit in silence, waiting for her to wake up. Twenty minutes pass, and I see Ryland straighten up and glance at her. Evelyn sits upright suddenly, and I hear her heart rate rise as she looks around frantically until she spots us; and she takes a deep breath.
Ryland grabs the glass of water, hands it to her, and she clutches it, her hands only trembling slightly as she takes a sip. I open my hand, revealing the two pills, and she pinches them with her fingers before popping them in her mouth and downing the rest of the glass.
She then leans against me, and I rub my hand up her back. Ryland and I are unsure what to do. I suddenly wish Orion stayed; he is better with humans than us.
The silence is becoming deafening. I don’t know what to say. Is there a right or wrong thing to say? Suddenly she gets up, walking into the kitchen. Her movements are a little sluggish as she fills up her glass, drinks it and refills it again. Ryland and I follow her. She seems fine, like nothing has happened, and then I realize we aren’t getting answers from her. She is just going to pretend like nothing happened; push whatever it is away like it doesn’t exist.
Evelyn
It’s been four years since I escaped that house of horrors, yet the memories come back to plague me, hanging over my head like a dark cloud. I shoved it to the back of my mind for four years, but it has returned with a vengeance, making me relive every minute.
Is it because of that night in the alleyway? Did that undo everything I worked so hard to suppress? I have always suffered from anxiety, and always found my way back from it; but now, my walls are crumbling, and I am killing myself trying to rebuild them back to the way they were.
Everything I worked so hard to leave behind is now resurfacing in the worst way possible, haunting not only my mind but my body. Panic attacks, something that becomes crippling, the feeling of complete dread threatening to consume you, make you believe it is the end, and sometimes, I wish it were. At least I wouldn’t have to suffer through another, and I wouldn’t have to relive my past.
I wouldn’t have to remember again if it all ended. The nightmares that haunt my sleep and the memories that haunt me when I’m awake are a never-ending cycle. It scares me to sleep, scares me to hear him creeping into my room, scares me to sense the doom that comes when he does. The dreams feel real, feel like it is happening. It doesn’t matter that I am safe away from him; he might as well have been doing it all over again in those moments.
For three days now, I have been awake. I feel like a zombie. My body is on autopilot, yet my mind is reliving a nightmare. I am tired, so tired. I just want to rest, but I know even in my sleep, there is no rest.
I have been staring at this TV for three days, too scared to move. Orion just sits watching with me. Yawning, I stretch. My muscles ache from sitting, my back and neck crack from sitting in this cramped position. I feel Orion watch me as I walk into the kitchen, feel his eyes on my back, boring holes into me. I am nearly out of pills again, only four left in the bottle, and the panicked feeling of knowing I will run out creeps over me.
They help me relax and numb everything around me. Feeling his presence behind me, I look over my shoulder and see him leaning on the counter.
“You need to sleep. If you just sleep, you will feel better.”
Easy for him to say, he doesn’t suffer through the nightmares. Rolling my eyes at him, I bring the pill bottle to my lips, dropping the four pills in my mouth. Maybe he is right; maybe if I could sleep even for an hour, I would feel better. My body is exhausted, and I feel sick and uneasy. Orion snatches the pill bottle from my hand, but he is too late. I have already swallowed them.