He kisses my nose. “What are you two doing?” he asks, a devious glint in his eyes.
“Nothing. We just woke up,” Thaddeus tells him. I feel Ryland lay behind me, making my heart race when I feel his hand move my hair off my shoulder. His warm hands brush my skin, making me shiver.
Ryland chuckles softly behind me, his lips next to my ear. “She can feel the mate bond,” he states. He starts running his finger along my shoulder, making me gasp as sparks move everywhere he touches. Thaddeus’ grip on my hip tightens. I feel Ryland’s breath on my neck where he bit me.
Then, I feel his tongue move over it, and my eyes close as pleasure makes my toes curl, and I moan softly. Thaddeus’ hand moves over my hip to my waist, and Ryland sucks on my mark. Feeling pleasure erupt through me, sparks rush down from my neck to between my legs, making me moan loudly and forget who they are as I become lost in the feeling of arousal washing over me. I have never felt pleasure before, and it is mind-blowing. I don’t want it to stop.
Ryland’s hand moves down my body and brushes over my stomach. His lips don’t leave my neck as I feel his hands slip into my pants, rubbing my slit through my panties. I feel his lips move from my neck, and he nips at my shoulder. Thaddeus’ hand pulls my leg over his hip, and I roll my hips against Ryland’s fingers. I can feel my panties become wet with arousal.
“She is so wet,” Ryland growls next to my ear, making me wetter.
“Do you want him to stop, Evelyn?” Thaddeus asks, making my eyes snap open, and I realize I am lost in their touch, yet it feels right. Nothing feels righter than this right here. But yet, I know it isn’t. They are killers, and I am human.
Ryland’s fingers slip beneath my panties, his finger rubbing between my wet lips before I feel him rub my clit, making me moan loudly.
“Evelyn, do you want him to stop?” Thaddeus asks.
I don’t want him to stop. I have never felt like this before, almost high on the feeling of him touching me.
“It’s okay to want us, Evelyn,” Ryland says. His fingers stop moving, and I know he can feel my unease through the bond, my mind and body at war with themselves.
“Don’t stop,” I gasp, moving my hips against his fingers.
Ryland moves his fingers again, rubbing my clit in a circular motion. I feel my juices spill onto my thighs as I moan at his touch. Thaddeus’ lips brush mine, and I feel his tongue brush my bottom lip, wanting access. I part my lips, and he plunges his tongue into my mouth. His tongue tastes every inch, and I moan into his mouth when I feel Ryland slide a finger in me, making me flinch and my mind becomes flooded with memories; memories I keep in the back of my mind; memories that I try my best to detach myself from.
I feel my entire body tense, and I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, trying to fight them off. I feel Ryland pull his hand from my pants.
Thaddeus growls at me, making my eyes snap open. I try to breathe, find my grounding place, try to remember the mantra that always saves me. My breathing is coming harder as I try to shove the memory aside, to remember it’s not happening and that I am not in that monster’s den.
I feel his greasy hands on my body, the bourbon on his breath, the pale-yellow color of his skin. I try to get up and remove myself, and I feel hands grip me as I stumble off the bed. My vision is becoming tunneled, and I try to force myself to take a breath, to force the air into my lungs as my heart beats erratically in my chest.
My hands reach for the nightstand where I know my handbag is. Muttering my mantra, trying to ground myself, I grab the bottle of pills, only for it to slip from my shaking hands, and the tunnel vision worsens as dark spots take over my vision.
I welcome the darkness; it’s where I feel safest because it makes it go away. Makes the feelings go away, the shame, weakness, the dirty feeling of being used. Darkness wraps around me, and I take a breath of air as it sucks me under.
Thaddeus
She is fine. I can feel her through Ryland. She feels safe and likes what he is doing to her. She is a little shocked and uneasy at her reaction to us but I can tell she is new to pleasure. She wants to know what it feels like. Her inexperience shows in how she doesn’t know what she is feeling, just that she likes it.
That’s why I ask; why I ask if she wants him to stop. I can still feel her fear of us, but our hands override it, touching her. I can smell her arousal perfuming the air; she is so lost in the feeling of us that she hasn’t noticed Orion, watching from the armchair. He wants her not to fear us, so he gives us this moment with her.
Then, she freezes, her entire body locks up when Ryland pushes his finger inside her. I pull back slightly, and the look on her face is like she is somewhere else, trapped wherever her mind has taken her. Her face becomes flushed like she can’t breathe, and I feel her struggle to take a breath. It reminds me of when she first saw us when we stepped into the cafe.
The feelings from Ryland are pure panic and fear, and they take my breath away. She clutches my skin, her nails dig into me, breaking the skin on my shoulders as she thrashes, tears roll down her cheeks and off her chin.
I growl. I don’t mean to scare her. Her eyes snap to mine, but it is like she is looking straight through me, that vacant look in her eyes as they dart around the room. Getting off the bed, she gets up, and she gasps for air, her hands tremble, and she nearly falls off the bed.
I grab her arm to steady her, trying to figure out what she wants when Orion calls out.
“Her bag, her pills,” he says, and I watch her digging through it, trying to find them, muttering to herself.
“See, feel, touch. See, feel, touch.”
I have no idea what she is talking about.
When she finds the pills, she drops them onto the floor. I watch her eyes roll into her head, and her face goes slack as she plummets to the floor. Catching her, I scoop her up, cradling her to my chest. Her breathing is going back to normal. Ryland looks pale and his hands tremble. His canines protrude from his lips, and I can feel guilt run through him. Orion, noticing it too, stands up, rubbing his arm.