He’d done the right thing.
Maybe for the first time in his life.
So why did he feel like shit again? Like she’d stomped on his dead heart again?
He’d poured himself another drink the moment she had left but he still had it in his hand fuck knew how long later. It had taken everything in him to let her walk out that door, so now he had nothing left.
The sound of the door closing pulled him out of his thoughts. He gulped his whiskey down and set the glass down before Phillip walked into the room. Phillip looked at the empty glass and then at him. He was now like an annoying, nagging aunty more than anything.
“I’m fine,” he said before Phillip could start.
“Okay,” Phillip shrugged. “Go and get your coat so we can go.”
He slouched in his chair.
“I’m staying home tonight. Maybe next week.”
He’d told Phillip he would go out just to stop the nagging but after seeing Evelyn that was out of the question. And to go when he knew she was out there? It was a big city with many places to drink but there was a chance he could still bump into her.
Had she come to meet that boy? All dressed up like a sex pot in that barely-there dress live it wasn’t freezing outside. Brendan wouldn’t even begin to understand what she needed so why would she even try it with him?
“Roman.”
He looked up and realised Phillip had still been talking. His jealousy was still getting the better of him after all this time. If he wasn’t trying to stop himself from rolling on the floor in agony he was fighting his desire to find Brendan and send him somewhere where Evelyn would never find him.
“Roman,” Phillip repeated.
He sighed and rubbed his tired face. His jealousy would get him nowhere. Evelyn was a single, young woman free to be with who she wanted, and that wasn’t him.
“For fuck’s sake, get your coat.”
“I’m going to fire you one of these days,” he said.
“I will eagerly await that day. Get your coat. You can’t spend another Friday stuck in here.”
“I don’t need you to babysit me, Phillip. I’m perfectly fine with my own company.”
Phillip didn’t say anything else. He crossed his arms and just looked at him. Sometimes he forgot Phillip had been in the army. He could be intimidating as fuck when he wanted to be. And if he didn’t get up and get his coat, he wouldn’t hear the end of this for weeks.
“Fine!” he snapped as he stood up. “I will have one fucking drink somewhere with other people around me if that will make you feel better, and then I’ll come home.”
He shook his head as walked to the cloakroom near the door and grabbed a leather jacket out of it. Phillip looked at him from head to toe and then frowned.
“You’re going out dressed like that?”
“Take it or leave it.”
Phillip shook his head and then walked to the door to open it.
“After you, sir,” he said sarcastically.
“The disrespect I get from you is so unbelievable,” he said as he walked out.
The elevator took them to the basement and then the cold air hit him in the face the moment the doors opened. Evelyn would definitely be freezing her tits off in this. But he didn’t want to think of her anymore, not when he was being forced to go out. It would only take one drink more than he could handle to make him forget all the reasons why he couldn’t scour the city looking for her. He was probably halfway there already.
He sat in the back with his arms crossed as Phillip drove.
“If you meet a nice girl tonight, it wouldn’t hurt to do things properly. Buy her a drink, talk, ask her on a date, that sort of thing.”
As if that would ever happen. How could he even think of anyone else when Evelyn still owned his heart?
“I don’t need dating advice.”
“I’m just saying. Maybe you’re rusty since you never actually date anyone.”
“Just because I don’t, it doesn’t mean I can’t. Just drive, Phillip.”
He looked out of the window and got lost in his thoughts again. So much to plan and do but it was Evelyn who was always on his mind. The car stopped outside a club, and he got out after telling Phillip not to go far because it would be a quick drink. He didn’t realise where he was until he walked in.
Instead of a crowded dance floor and loud music, the mood was more mellow, but it was definitely the same club.
He swore and was about to turn and walk out when he saw who was sitting by the bar. Alone. He could only see her back view so that meant he could leave without her spotting him.
He had to leave. He had already said his goodbyes and come to terms that she needed someone who knew how to love her. She needed someone who could give her everything she needed. That person was not him.
But his feet were already moving towards her.
And his mouth was opening before he could think this through.
“Is this seat taken?”
Evelyn lifted her head and tensed. And then she turned to look at him.
Her beautiful emerald gaze met his and his heart took its first beat since she left him.
“Roman,” she whispered.
He didn’t wait for her response to slip into the seat next to her. The bar was near enough empty, there were several places he could have sat down. But resisting Evelyn had never been his strong suit.
“If I’d known you were coming here I would have given you a lift.”
“Phillip dropped me off,” Evelyn said.
His brow rose. He’d been set up. Maybe in the morning he’d throttle Phillip but right now his heart was starting to do crazy shit because of his proximity to Evelyn.
“What are you drinking?” he asked, nodding at her almost empty drink.
Evelyn remained quiet for a while as her gaze locked on his. This was the part where she told him to fuck off. Where she asked what the hell he was doing and why he assumed he could be in her personal space again. Where she jumped off this crazy rollercoaster and walked out of the bar.
But Evelyn bit her bottom lip and looked away from him before she said, “Vodka.”
And somehow his heart started to beat faster, even with parts of it still missing.
He ordered both of them a drink and then looked at Evelyn again. It hurt to look at her. To know what he’d had and lost.
“Are you waiting for someone? I can sit somewhere else if you want me to,” he said.
Evelyn shook her head.
And he felt a part of his heart restore itself. Hope started to seep into his body again, no matter how hard he tried to keep it down.
The bartender placed their drinks in front of them, taking his attention away from her. And then nervousness set in as if he was a teenager again. He should have walked away the moment he had seen her.
But here he was already planting himself deep into a situation he knew would end with him completely destroyed again. What the fuck was he doing?