I looked at the bump on her belly and in just a short time, it grew bigger than yesterday. I can even hear my pup’s pulse inside her womb, I can feel it sensing me back.
Upon noticing the way I look at her bulging tummy, she placed her hand on top of it as if that will cover it. I chuckled.
“What do you want from me?” I heard her ask but my eyes was kept on her belly as she starts to stroke it gently.
Damn, I wanna do that too.
“Are you planning to do something bad to my child?” there is fear and disgust in her voice. The mixture of her tone made the hole in my chest grew larger, expanded with a pain I’m surprised I took in.
With clenched jaw, I looked her back in the eyes. My expression is hardened, hurt, but I’m trying my best to resist the irritation I felt from her question.
“I will never do that to my child.” I hissed after saying the words. It came out with too much anger that she may absorb. “I’m not the bad one here.”
“Your?” Her emerald eyes squinted as it looked at me with confusion and disbelief. “You called my baby yours? How dare you?!” she stood up, her eyes were angry and hateful as if I’m a monster.
I tilted my head to the side, diverting my vision away from her and my tongue pushing the inside of my cheeks to stop myself because I can feel myself bursting any moment.
“This is my child with Elon! The Alpha you just killed! The one who never did anything to you but you decided to kill him because you are powerful! Well, guess what? I don’t care if you are the strongest Alpha of the North, if strongest means you can kill anyone who didn’t do anything to be killed then I rather be with the weakest-”
“You don’t know anything, woman.”
The nerves on my forehead started to throb. I am starting to lose it and the view of my mate blabbering non-sense overpowers the sympathy I have for her for being like this.
“I know you killed my Elon just for your own-”
My head snapped back to her and looked at her eyes with narrowing eyes.
“I KILLED HIM BECAUSE HE STOLE YOU FROM ME!” I growled! My voice echoed from how loud I shouted and it made Ashira jump, startled from my sudden outburst. I’m not a person of patience, but it is not my intention to scare her that I immediately regretted my actions.
Her face still have that same hatred but its mixed with confusion. She looks at me as if I’m dumb, like I’m a fool.
Maybe, I am.
“Aiden!” Lucianna came from nowhere and stand between me and Ashira. I shook my head and looked up where the sky was dark. Funny how the stars are not visible, too. I feel like the skies are mirroring my life ironically.
My voice was heard from the basement, I wouldn’t be surprised if it reached the whole pack. Damn.
“You should tell it to her in a more gentler way. She won’t understand you that way.” Lucianna scoffed and turned to Ashira who is now frowning at her friend.
“You’re on his side? I thought you don’t like him? And tell me what exactly?”
Lucy looked at me with a pleading look, as if she was asking me to stop something I’m not aware of but upon realizing my current state I found out that my eyes are red. My wolf took over quickly just when I lose my cool.
I sighed and closed my eyes.
“I’ll tell you later but I need to talk with this guy first. I’ll get back to you later, Ash.”
Lucianna grabbed on my arm and pulled me away from where my mate stands bewildered. My wolf wanted to growl at Lucianna for taking the chance of telling her the truth but I took over already. I can’t keep losing over my wolf, that is un-Alpha thing to happen and I just become just that.
“Why did you shout at her like that!?” Her voice is low but with emphasis in every word. “You should’ve tell her in a calm way or else the both of you will just clash! She’s not the Ashira before, Aiden.”
“She’s still my Ashira. She didn’t change, her memories and beliefs are altered but she’s still my mate.”
“Well, she didn’t know that so start acting according to her state.”
I sighed. She have a point and I knew I lost it. I decided to refrain from speaking because what I did was not right.
“Now, I will talk to her. I will try to explain to her what happened-”
“I should be the one to do that, Lucianna.”
“And you blew off your chance by shouting and scaring her so back off for now, I’ll handle this.”
“She won’t believe you.”
“She won’t believe you, too, you know.”
Fuck. Why did I even think I’ll be a special case to this?
“But our bond might touch her again…” Lucianna looked at me with a pitying look and I immediately shook my head. “Stop giving me that look.”
“Then don’t act that way so you won’t gain ‘this’ look, Aiden. If you will not be stronger than this problem, then both of you will be lost.”
I sighed in defeat. I know that. I know but still, my emotions are exploding inside my chest when I’m near Ashira.
“I’ll talk to her, I’ll explain it and the rest is up to her.”
Our talk was done when I nodded to her last words. She is right, I blew my chance. But tomorrow, I’ll try again.
Ashira’s POV
There is something wrong with me. I can feel it.
I’m not sure if its because I had lost Elon or if from my pregnancy but something inside me feel like dying and awakening from time to time.
I can’t handle the pain whenever the thought of Elon’s face flashes in my head. My chest feels like I was stabbed by a sword bigger than my heart, tearing me in half, and the next thing I knew, I’m crying with my throat being clenched. I can’t shout, I can’t cry louder, I feel like someone was holding my neck, choking me everytime.
“Okay, now we can talk in peace.” Lucy jiggly walked to me and grinned. “Let’s get comfortable now.” she motioned for me to sit.
My eyes went to the rude Alpha named Aiden as I caught him staring at me while standing from where Lucy pulled him. I felt my friend tugged on my fingers and pull me back to the bench but my eyes never left those golden-brown eyes.
This is what I was talking about. When this man is near me, when I smell his scent, when I feel his presence, when I see him, I feel like I’m alive. If Elon’s picture in my head kills me, this guy makes me feel something… weird.
Why am I mesmerized by the eyes of my mate’s killer anyway?
The Alpha looked away first before heading towards the house. I watched him walk and everything looked like a slow-motion. My hand made a fist when I felt like something inside me has shaken.
This is what I’m talking about. There’s something about him that pulls me closer though I know I hate him but he still give me this kind of feels.
Lucianna noticed where I was looking and she snapped her head to the guy and scoffing, she looked back at me. “Don’t mind him. That reaction of him was normal since he is going through a lot so just bare with him.”
I frowned. “He said something…”
“Yeah, well,” Lucy shrugged and smile. A weak smile. The smile she does only when something is going on. The same smile she’s been giving me since last night. “You heard him clear, I bet.”
‘I killed him because he stole you from me!’
Those words echoed in my head with the same baritone loud voice. To be honest, I felt like my wolf howled inside me though I can’t see her howling. I haven’t seen my wolf since… I can’t remember. She seemed idle, far, resting, like I’m alone right now.