Then the flashes return and added to my already throbbing headache. It was like in my dream- with the little girl and boy and (gasp)… the wrapper ring.
It’s all clear to me now… It’s not a dream, and that little girl was me- I remember it all now.
The reason I’m so terrified of darkness, pool of water, fear of being alone, of being yelled, of being hated by someone was all because of those 2 horrible days at that horrible place.
It wasn’t a dream?… It wasn’t a dream. I held my knees to my chest and began to cry. What if my whole life was just one long nightmare.
And just when I was about to blackout, a familiar hand held me tightly and I felt safe again.
I woke up an hour later to the sight of Markian sitting beside me on my bed.
This must be another one of my dreams- beautiful, unrealistic but hopeful dreams. How the hell do I survive without Markian, when everything I see is him.
My heart aches when I’m not with him and aches even more when I’m with him, but I’m full of many secrets and lies.
I want to be safe in his arms and I long for a day like that, even though a future together can only be found in my dreams. I settled in on his laps, adjusting myself closer to stomach.
“Are you awake?” He asked concerned.
My dreamy eyes immediately flew open at the realization that I wasn’t dreaming. Markian is really here?
“Mar… Markian? How… are you here?” I asked surprised and confused.
It was dead in the night, only God knows how late it was. And I thought he didn’t care where I was going or what I was doing.
“I let myself in after everyone had gone to bed, just like last night. I knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep without me around. Tsk… you even fainted merely because the lights went off- I wonder what you would do without me?” he teased, but I ignored him and hugged him so tight for fear that my heart would burst of excitement.
He was really here, I can’t believe it.
“Did you miss me that much?” He asked behind my shoulder.
“You have no idea… i”
“then why did you leave?” He asked interrupting me.
“Because I kept making the wrong choices and you kept getting hurt because of those choice” I answered hastily for fear that he might interrupt me again.
“I missed you… I couldn’t think straight without you. You don’t know how much I wanted to stop you from leaving last night. I wanted to see you, but you hate me so much you wanted to get rid of me- I didn’t know what else to do but to let you leave.” he confessed honestly.
I released him from my embrace and held his face in my hands.
“No… I would never want to get rid of you. I just couldn’t…” I stuttered.
I want to explain everything to him but for some reason I couldn’t. I let go of his face and stood up from my bed as I walked to the window.
What if this isn’t my story? What if I’m just a supporting female lead character in this story?
I’m with a man that was never mine in the first place, and finally when the main female lead character returns but I’m unable to let go.
Wouldn’t it be best to let things fall back to how they were before I became greedy and wanted more?
Since yesterday, I’ve felt like a mere proxy filling in for Sophia all this while, but now she was back and I have to step back. This realization shattered my heart but I had no more tears left to cry.
The entire universe was trying so hard to get things back to normal, to the extent it resurrected my twin sister- while all I’ve been doing is holding on to a dream.
I turned to look at Markian sitting on my bed, and I knew only pain awaits him if I continued to be greedy and selfish.
“Everything I’ve done up until now have been so hard on you, but you never once complained. Other men would never run to my side again if they’ve gone through half of what I’ve put you through. I promise you Markian, I’ll make you so happy from now on. I’ll restore all that I’ve destroyed and give you back your love and happiness.” I declared in all sincerity.
But to do these, I needed a little more time with him. I wanted something that would help keep me sane. I needed memories, beautiful memories that would help me overcome the temptations of ever looking back. I have to be selfish one last time to be able to move pass all these.
I watched him as he walked quickly towards me and engaged me in a passionate and loving kiss that sent all my senses on high alert- my heart beat increased exceedingly.
“Then let’s go home, Livy. Like right now… I don’t think your mom will turn a blind eye the 3rd time I break into her house at night.” He joked and I couldn’t help but chuckle like a baby.
“Ok, let’s go… I really need to catch some sleep” I agreed mindlessly.
Let me be a little greedy for just a little while, it won’t take long. We took a midnight drive for a little while till I fell asleep.
When I woke up the next morning, I was in our bed with Markian holding me so close to him, I almost broke down in tears.
Present day
The longer I stayed with Markian, the more memories I had. The more memories I had, the harder it became for me to leave him.
He was so kind and wonderful to me we rarely had any serious arguments. Never once did he mention what happened that day, and I knew when the day comes that I have to tell him the truth, that would be the day I’ll never have the strength to leave his side ever.
Not once did I go to visit Sophy all these days either, but I made sure she has everything she would ever need.
I was hesitating to let anyone know. Before, I was scared of the uncertainties but now, the certainties of what would happen after Sophia comes back into our lives again, scared me so much I was hesitating.
But she had suffered too, and was torn away from her family because of what I may have done to her.
So, how was I suppose to tell her that the husband she remembers got married to her twin sister after her supposed death?
How am I suppose to tell her that I was pregnant with her husband’s child?
After everything that had happened, she must have hopes and dreams even though she had no memories, but I am a hinderance to it all.
I chose wrongly when I got the chance to choose and ended up destroying the lives of 3people- but I can’t continue to hold on to things that never belonged to me in the first place.
This really isn’t my story and the more I linger in this position, the more I become the antagonist in my sister’s love story.
After I ended the call with my mother, I soon heard the door bell. I wasn’t expecting anyone today, and nobody knew I’ld be home today either.
I left the room and walked downstairs to the door. Dismissing the maid who was about to go answered the door, I decided to answer it myself.
Who could it be?
As I turned the door knob and open it, my heart flipped to see Sophia standing on the other side of the door.
What is she doing here, and how did she find my home? I thought with wide-eyes.