Just because he’s now a man doesn’t mean I’ll become useless to him and have no say in his life anymore.
Tsk… I went to Facebook immediately to stalk Penelope Xiang and prayed she wasn’t just another sly fox after my brother’s peace and happiness.
Livy
“Hello mom… How are you today?” I asked my mom politely on the phone.
It’s been 9days since she woke up from a coma and Sophy’s return. Neither she nor Markian still knows about Sophy’s resurfacing.
I feel so guilty keeping this secret to myself and it was killing me. But I didn’t want to let them know yet without making sure I wasn’t resurrecting a monster.
“Livy?… I’m ok, I just… are you ok?” She asked, a bit disturbed.
She had asked me 2days at she woke up, what really happened while she was in a coma. Obviously, she already knew everything including the blackmail and threats from Carlos.
So, I told her the entire truth and how I felt living with Markian, but I omitted my pregnancy, my plan and Sophy’s return.
Those pieces of my life weren’t clear to me yet and that scares me.
“I’m fine mom, are you? You’re talking as though you’ve seen a ghost.” I questioned nervously.
Nothing fazes my mother, so if something could make her feel anxious it must be serious.
“I just saw one. Livy, I just saw your sister. Sophia-is-alive!”
What?!”
“I saw her at the market place just now. I went for a personal survey there and saw her, but she didn’t react to me and she looked very different. But I know my daughter any age, any time and any place. Your sister is alive, Livy… do you know what that means?” She asked excitedly.
Of course I know what it means.
It means that my life with Markian is over because, Sophia is alive.
It means my marriage with Markian is no longer valid because, his first wife is still legally married to him since she’s still alive.
I very much know what it means, but I’m not ready to accept it yet.
“Mom, you must have made a mistake and confused someone else for Sophia. I mean, you just got out of a heart surgery and suffered a coma, it’s totally normally to see things that aren’t there, mom. Sophia- is dead, we buried her with her body inside a casket. You were there, I was there- we all saw her dead body before she was buried. Please mom, let it go”. I ordered hastily.
This wasn’t my proudest moment, but I need more time.
The lies, the secrets- it was turning me into someone I was not.
I ended the call abstrusely and faced the window of our room. I was in my matrimonial home, in my matrimonial room- and its all a lie because, it wasn’t really mine.
9days ago
After Sophia and I went to get hot chocolate and fries the night she reappeared, I took her to a safe location for me, where no one would bump into her.
It was secured and peaceful, and I made sure she had supplies sent to her everyday.
I haven’t seen her since then- and that’s because I don’t know how to face her, or how to answer her questions.
I felt sick in my stomach when I told her never to show her face or go outside. I lied to her that I was looking into things, and the people who wanted her dead could still be after her- while in actuality, I could be the one who wanted her dead, I could be the reason she was in this position at the moment.
I went back to M. Winfrey’s mansion very late that night- 1pm I think. Markian was waiting up and I thought I knew what he wanted to see.
I thought he wanted to see me leave because he couldn’t trust me anymore. I opened the door and I saw him walk straight to me through the path that led to the staircase.
I couldn’t look him in the eyes, the lying would hurt more if I did. So, I walk past him, and headed up the stairs in silence.
Heather wasn’t here, she had gone but her words to me lingered, and she was right.
To Markian, I’ll always bring sadness and difficulty even though I don’t intend to.
Sophia was his true love- his first wife and she was back. Could my hesitance be that I’m unwilling to accept that fact?
I quickly grabbed a few clothes and my toiletries, and put them into a small duffle bag as I hurried out of the room and down the staircase.
Markian was still standing at the end of the stairs staring at me as I climbed down. His gaze was both confusing and torturous, but I was strong enough not to hold them.
“Where do you plan to stay?” He asked coldly.
Ouch… Markian.
He didn’t care if I left home or not. I never thought my action would hurt him so much to the point he doesn’t care anymore.
Please Markian, stop me.
“My mother woke up today and I’m so excited, I wished I could stay with her all day… I’m going back home, Markian” I said, trying to act like I wasn’t dying inside.
Please, just this once I need you to stop me. I don’t much time to spend with you so please- please stop me from leaving.
I’m so sad right now and all I just need is a hug from the man I love- from my husband.
“Ok… be safe” he replied.
Those 3 words struck me like blows to my chest. I’m suffering, Markian!
I don’t know why the entire universe keeps forcing my hand to leave you when I don’t want to.
I walked pass him again silently, as I headed to the door with tears rolling down my cheek. If I was Sophia, would he have stopped me? Would he have held me back and asked me not to leave?
I got into my car and senselessly drove home, crying and comparing myself to Sophia.
My mother was surprised with my unannounced, late arrival. She looked at me with a frown, and I gave casual smile with the excuse that I missed her so much and wanted to spend the next few days with her.
I had made up my mind how my baby and I would leave from now on, so I needed to spend as much time as I could with the people I love.
I couldn’t sleep at all that night. I was too depressed to do anything the next day, and my mother noticed.
So she asked me what had happened while she was in a coma, and I told her everything. She was so furious and angry, I had to leave out the part were Sophia resurfaced and my pregnancy.
The next night was even worse than the first. I was up till 2am when I felt pressed to use the bathroom for the 4th time that night.
Then I was thirsty again and quietly sneaked downstairs to the kitchen to get myself a glass of juice. I didn’t want to wake anybody up since I haven’t told my mom she was going to be a grandma soon.
I had my wrapper ring on since it’s the only thing aside from Markian that soothes me and helps me feel brave. But as I got the jug of juice from the fridge, I had to remove it carefully and placed it on the counter- it avoid ruining it further.
Suddenly the whole place went dark.
Shit! I’m terrified of darkness.
I couldn’t see anything and my head began to hurt. My lips were trembling as I tried to call out the name at the back of my mind- Markian- but I couldn’t.
My whole body slumped to the ground as my hands and feet became very cold. What is happening to me?… I was blacking out.