Zanaya’s POV
“Zaya…” I lifted my head up a little as I heard Cali calling my name.
“Yes?” I asked and she just frowns.
“You’re binge-watching again. You will hurt your eyes, silly,” she muttered before plopping her body just beside where I am seated. I felt her grab a handful of popcorn from the bowl that was on my side before popping a few in her mouth.
I raised my eyebrows at her as I pause the movie that I was watching.
“What?” she muttered, her smile was so awkward I suddenly felt guilty why she and the rest of the girls have been acting that way ever since my outburst with Seth.
I turned on my side once I heard my phone beep, signaling that I have received a new message which Cali obviously noticed since my phone is just sitting at the top of the table.
Storm had been sending me messages asking if I’m okay which I did not return even once.
I know he’s only worried about my well-being since he’d treated me more of like a sister. Though I’m very grateful for his concern, that doesn’t make me feel a lot better.
A week.
A fucking week had already passed and not a single fucking message from Seth. No phone call or anything. I’ve read Storm’s messages and he told me to give Seth space for the meantime.
What space do I have to give to him and would he need that anyway?
Well, after all the words that he’s spoken last time, he can go fuck himself and have all the space that he needs.
I don’t need someone who’s ready to drop me like a potato after he realized how hot it is.
I don’t need him. After all, I’m a strong woman.
“You do realize that you’ll need to talk with him eventually right?” I heard Cali. I wanted to shut up and forget about it. I don’t want to think about it, about him or my situation.
“Says the girl who keep on avoiding his ex, huh?” I smirked and she ended up with a grin.
I leaned my back on the couch as I stare at the empty space in front, remembering his words
The words he uttered, they were beautiful, the were selfless. But it was not directed towards my favor, but to those people who are obviously far way more important than I am.
And I can fucking understand.
I hate the fact that I understand yet it hurts like a damn truck.
They were there with him before he met me, from that moment when they were still struggling until now that they’re almost at the top.
Hell, they are at the top, together with our seniors who had worked hard to be there.
And the fact that we had an arranged marriage kept coming back on my mind.
I know that he loves me. I can feel it. And I would be lying if I say he doesn’t give a fuck about me because he does. And even if we’ve stopped talking for a week, I know he still cares.
My guts tell me so.
But don’t I have the right to get hurt as well?
At this point, at least I know where I actually stand. That even though we’ve encountered a lot of problems, and had overcome every single one of it, the bond that we have isn’t strong enough yet for him to choose me in the end.
But I never asked him to choose. He decided on his own and it’s even more because it concerns the both of us.
Last night, I thought about a lot of things.
My self-worth, and to until how much I can give.
What if I have to choose between WHISTLE and Seth, am I ready to leave my members now for him?
I turn my direction towards Cali, her facial expression tells me that she’d been staring at me for so long that she probably realized that I was out for a few moments.
“If Storm asked you to be with him right this instant, will you leave us WHISTLE behind?”
She looked taken a back for a moment before her gaze landed back to the television.
And I was met with silence.
I was so curious as to why Seth was clouded with those thoughts so I wanted to know other people’s opinion.
As much as I can, I am trying to save the relationship that we’ve been trying to keep since I don’t know when.
“It hurts.” My voice cracked.
The emotion that I had been keeping for a week is slowly bringing my defenses down.
Same old cry-baby, Zaya.
I guess it’s really true when they say old habits die hard, huh.
“I know.” she responded.
“When Storm decided to drop me like I was nothing, I felt my world crumbling down before me,” she started and I swear I can taste the bitterness on her voice.
“He left me like I was nothing.”
“Cali,” I grab her hands in worry.
I felt guilty for a moment.
Cali had been doing so well. Why do I have to drop the bomb that is bothering me before her?
“So yeah, I guess Storm did the same to me.” she faked a laugh and I know that she’s just barely holding it in.
I wanted to tell her that Storm didn’t leave her.
But that’s not for me to tell.
I put a mental note to tell Storm about what Cali had just said.
“The truth is, I felt apologetic towards you.” she started and my heart ache after I notice the silent tears streaming down her face.
“I never really apologized for what I did in the past, how I asked you to stop comminicating with Seth. I was selfish and even though you can say No to me, you still followed because you cared.”
She wipes the tears on her cheeks and I did not utter a word. Instead, I kept my chill and listened.
“We were never there when you were having a hard time alone. We, your friends didn’t even notice how you were struggling by yourself. And even now, you’re still about to face a greater obstacle in your life.”
A sigh escaped my lips.
“You are a strong woman, Zaya. Remember, the girls and your family will always be with you. And regardless of what your decision or how you face this phase of your life, don’t forget the WHISTLE got your back.” she smiled at me and I did the same.
“But are you ready to live your life without Seth?” she asked and I bite my lips as I try to stop myself from bawling my eyes out.
“I don’t know.” I whispered. “I mean, would that even matter now if he actually can live without me?”
My throat tightens and it’s starting to hurt, my hands also shaking in the process.
“You know Seth loves you, right?”
“I know. But I think he doesn’t love me enough for him to stay with me right now.” I said, and I felt a bitter taste coming out of my mouth.
“So are you telling me that you’re ready to let Seth go?” she stared at me wide eyes.
My mouth mummed in silence unable to answer her question.
We were silent for a good five minutes when I heard her chuckle.
“Just look at how ironic things can be. I broke up with Storm and there’s this possibility of you breaking up with Seth. But then, there’s Max who has Sky on her tails while Tokyo is out there to God knows where probably pestering the life out of Grey,” she stated and a smile escaped my lips.
“It seems like our group is constantly being drawn towards them, huh?” she finished
“I don’t even know if that’s funny or what but you’re actually right.” I agreed.
And then I saw the light on my phone flicker, another message coming in.
This time, the name of the person very dear to my heart appearing…
My stomach lurch as every hair on my body stood up
“We need to talk”.
Is this it? Is he going to leave me now?