Seth’s POV
“Is she okay?”
As soon and I pull the door close, I turn around as I heard Raze, his voice full of concern.
A sigh escaped my lips before my feet guided me towards the couch where everybody had circled.
All of WHISTLE, except Zanaya, and the rest of SHADOW are facing each other.
Normally, this should be a good day since it’s hard to set a date where everyone is available. But given the situation, I’m not even sure if meeting here is a good idea.
“I don’t know. She’s pretty much shaken up about it.” I answered before plopping myself down on the empty seat beside Grey.
“Do you think she’s really pregnant?” Grey asked and I scratch the back of my head. I’m not even sure if I can answer his questing honestly.
I guess I feel like that’s something private and I’m not really comfortable discussing something that indirectly involves my sex life, moreover discuss it in front of both her and my members.
Max must have recognized my hesitation because she suddenly snickered.
“Oh shut it, Seth. We all know you two did it multiple times already. You’re married, for fuck’s sake!” Max rolled her eyes and Raze let out a loud gasped.
Cali’s eyes widen and I noticed how Tokyo nudged Max on the side.
“Sorry about that,” Tokyo smiled awkwardly but Max just scoffed.
I was a little offended, yes, because I am her senior. It’s part of our culture to respect your seniors but I can’t blame Max for acting like that. She may be feeling a little pressured about this. I mean, the possibility of Zanaya being pregnant will hugely affect their group. And of course, she’s her friend.
“Calm down Max. We’re not even sure yet.” Cali Chimed in.
Shit. I can’t believe we’re discussing these kinds of things.
“But that still doesn’t mean that she’s pregnant,” Tokyo added.
“Aissst!” Sky messed with his hair. “Can we actually figure out if she’s pregnant or not without openly discussing these things? It’s bothering me.” He pouted.
“She told me she ate some leftover food which probably may have been the cause of her vomiting earlier. But then I remember her having mood swings lately.” I added. “I don’t know. How can I know if she’s pregnant or not? It’s not like we already had a baby before.” I covered my face in frustration.
The room went silent until Max spoke once again.
“Well, what if she is? What will you do?” Max asked, her arms crossed. The longer I know Max, the more I realize how intimidating she can get.
I stare at her for a moment, letting the words sink in.
To be honest, me and the boys were talking about it earlier.
Do I want it? Of course, I do! I would love to be a father moreover have it with someone I truly love.
Am I ready? Now that is a different question.
I’m in my early twenties, doing concerts and stuff, at the peak of my career.
Zanaya is way younger and she just debuted. Her having a baby at this young age will affect her life as an idol.
I’m not even sure if we’re both ready.
Plus, this is not just about the two of us. I have SHADOW and she has WHISTLE. We both have our fans.
The whole world doesn’t even know that we’re married and imagine how shock everyone will be.
And Zanaya…
My eyes landed on the ground, afraid to answer Max’s question directly.
A lot of things are wandering off my mind.
What if she’s really pregnant? What will happen to both of us?
“I’m assuming, your silence means you’re not yet ready,” Cali stated and I gulped.
What exactly do I feel about this? I’m not even sure.
“Seth,” I turned around and noticed the rest of the boys staring at me, waiting for an answer.
“I don’t know,” I muttered, confusion taking over me.
Am I ready to leave the stage and settle in with her? And is she ready to do the same?
Just then, my stomach felt like churning, the possibility of being a young father slowly sinking in.
“I don’t think I’m ready,” I whispered, my voice cracking at the end.
The room went silent. Nobody dared to speak.
Nobody except that one person, Max.
“Well excuse your pretty ass mister, but you should have realized that before you did the deed with my friend!” Max exclaimed, her voice full of anger before she suddenly stood up and march towards the door.
My mouth hanging wide open in the process and I felt the color on my face leaving.
Sky quickly stood up and followed her while Tokyo and Cali glared at me.
“Hey, Seth!” I turned to my other direction and saw Demo’s disappointed look.
“What?” I whispered. “Our comeback is in a few days… I’m not sure. I, ahm, I don’t know” I muttered, lost in my own thoughts.
I grab my hair in frustration, my eyes starting to water while butterflies soon erupted on my stomach.
I don’t know what to do or think. Right now, I feel like my world suddenly stopped.
“Seth,” I heard Grey muttered but my mind seemed to stop working as I stare into space before me.
What should I do?
“Seth, calm down for a moment. We don’t know anything yet. For all we know, Zanaya is not pregnant.” Storm patted my back.
“But what if she is?” I look up as I search for an answer.
He seemed taken aback for a moment.
“Then do what you have to do.” Mono added.
“We will support you whatever your decision is.” Raze said, already standing up.
I felt my body trembling.
“But I can’t leave you all behind. We’re family. You’re my brothers.” I stated.
“We know, Seth. We know.” Demo hugged me.
“Our fans will be disappointed. And I know you have been disappointed when you found out that I suddenly got married.” finally voicing out my thoughts.
I knew everyone had been upset the first time they found out about my marriage.
We are young and we promised to move forward together. But I kept something important like this a secret.
“And so what, you’re going to let me be? What makes me then? Who am I to your life?”
My body stiffens after I heard her voice. It was stern, piercing, like a sharp blade ready to cut through me.
Zanaya…
“Zaya” I heard Cali whispered in panic before she and Tokyo quickly made their way towards her.
All the boys were now standing up except for me and Grey.
“Zaya…” Storm muttered and I was sure the boys’ eyes were all wide open. Grey sat frozen beside me and I felt the droplets of sweat starting to form on my forehead.
“That’s what he was trying to say Storm right? He can’t leave you all because you’re his family. So what am I to him exactly?” her voice cracked and I can’t seem to move and turn towards her direction.
I’m afraid to see the tears starting to fall on her cheeks.
Stupid Seth. You’re making her cry again.
“That’s not it Zaya, ” Storm spoke for me and somehow, I felt so little after I realize how coward I am being right now.
I’m afraid to face my problem. I promised that we will get through everything together, yet, I’m here, being a total asshole to her.
“No! That’s exactly it.!” she screamed and everybody flinched. By this time, I was sure she’s already crying and my heart felt heavy.
I balled my fist in anger and frustration, not to her but more to myself.
“Yah, Seth!” Demo tried calling my name but I was stuck.
The darkness seemed to occupy my mind.
“Zaya, stop crying.” Tokyo’s voice cracked and I was sure she’s already on the verge of tears.
“You know what. You don’t have to worry about it.” she started and I felt my insides drop.
“Whether I’m pregnant or not, consider it as my problem, not yours. And please, you can keep your stupid fucking dick stick up to your tight black pants, asshole!” she screamed before she stormed out of our house, eyes burning red while her girls following.
I wanted to run to her, tell her that everything will be fine, but my body won’t move. I watched until her figure was out of my sight, my feet still glued on the floor.
The beating of my heart was so loud and I felt like I was drowning.
I am drowning and I don’t know if I want out or not.
I just made a mistake, didn’t I?