Seth’s POV
“Seth, the cov er that we made was trending.” I tried to smile as Grey danced in front of us while we stay in the living room.
“We don’t talk anymore
We don’t see each other
We don’t meet like we used to
You seemed to have forgotten
You don’t smile at me anymore
What that all for a show?
Oh, I miss you
I fucking miss you.”
A smile escaped on my lips as Sky joined Grey as they happily dance in front of us.
Raze was laughing his ass off as he watches the two trying to pull a salsa while singing the same song.
“Hey, you two are really weird.” Mono chuckle as he records the two.
We just came back from our concert in Japan.
“Tss, when will you two ever grow up?” I mutter as I shake my head.
“Hey Seth, we’re both taller than you in case you forgot.” Grey teased and I heard our members doubled in laughter.
I threw the pillow on my side in Grey’s direction. To my dismay, Grey was able to catch it and ended up making faces towards my direction.
I rolled my eyes on him.
This kid.
“I’m taller now!” I chuckled as I scroll down through my phone checking out Twitter feeds.
My brows furrowed when my eyes landed on a video of me in Japan.
I felt my stomach churn as I watch a clip of our concert where my eyes were getting teary.
I didn’t know the camera clearly caught that.
My hands automatically acted as I scroll down and read the comments.
“Seth must have felt overwhelmed now that they are finally able to perform in such a big dome. congrats!”
“I’m crying out of happiness! They are finally so successful. This is definitely their era. Stop crying, Seth!”
I felt a lump stuck on my throat.
I can clearly remember that exact moment the camera captured
I was thinking about her, Zanaya, and how she broke my heart.
Just thinking about it makes me feel like I’m about to explode.
My fist balled in anger.
I did everything for her. I tried my best to avoid anyone she’s getting jealous of so she won’t feel upset.
Every bit of a moment that I felt happy, I share with her. Because I thought that’s how it should be. I want to share my memories with her.
I didn’t know she had a different plan. A plan that doesn’t include me.
That time when we both fell asleep on her bed, I thought everything will be fine.
If I only knew that it would be the last time I would be able to feel her warmth with mine, I shouldn’t have let her go from my arms. I shouldn’t have left while she was still sleeping.
And now she’s no longer mine.
Fuck.
I tried so hard to keep her off my mind bit each time that a laugh escapes my lips, I would automatically grab my phone to tell her about it, only to put it back down after I realize that I no longer have the right to do that. She already broke up with me.
Why?
Was I not good enough?
Why are you selfish Zanaya?
Each night, I would try to stop myself from breaking down. I was having a hard time only to find photos of her with a different man.
I trusted her. Even after every fucking person in the media calls me not to do so.
Even after I received messages from that jerk proving your relationship with her, I still tried to hold on to her words, that she loves me. Because I felt it. I felt her love.
Where did it go so wrong?
Our manager told me yesterday that we were supposed to film a show for couples but I declined. After that, articles of our breakup surface the net and I don’t even know how it happened. Our manager asked me about it and I told them to let her company give their statement first.
I don’t think I have the guts to see her face now. I am so afraid to break down in front of her.
I don’t want to see her pity.
I wish to have the ability to pretend that I am fine even though I wanted to shout to the world how shitty I feel right now.
I cleared my throat to prevent myself from crying.
I’ve cried enough and I don’t want the boys to get worried about me.
“Seth, are you okay?” I heard Grey which broke me out of my train of thoughts.
At that I noticed all of them staring at me, worry evident in their eyes.
“Of course I am!” I tried to act cheerfully.
“Seth” Raze started.
“No, Seth.” I stopped him. I know what he is about to say. They’ve all been telling me the same thing.
“Why don’t you try talking with her? We’re now back in Korea. Don’t you think it’s better for both of you to see each other?” Mono added.
“I can’t,” I look down, afraid to meet their eyes.
I am afraid to have another breakdown which I’ve had a lot. The fact that she’s no longer mine isn’t something my heart can easily accept.
“Don’t you want to hear what she’s about to tell you?” Demo inquired.
“She already told me!” my voice raised as I try to suppress my anger. “How much more should I hear for her to tear me up completely?” I can no longer hold it in.
I cried.
“How much more should I hear for me to be able to accept the fact that she’s no longer mine?!” I whispered as I stare at my members.
Sky looked down while Grey sat down on the floor.
I choke on my own tears.
“Seth” Demo hugged me from the side as I hear his voice cracked.
Just then, his phone started ringing.
He wiped away the tears I didn’t know was already streaming down his cheeks.
“Why is Storm calling me? I thought he was sleeping in his room? Demo asked himself.
“He went out. I heard him talking with someone on the phone.” Grey Chimed in and I noticed him avoiding my gaze. “He’s going to meet up with Zanaya” he added.
I looked up at the mention of her name.
Zanaya shut the boys down except for Storm. They have gotten closer and I know Zanaya treats Storm as her older brother.
“Uh, Storm?” he answered, confused.
A sigh escaped my lips as I scan the room. I didn’t even notice him missing. I must be out of myself lately.
“Huh?” I watch as Demo pulls back the phone away from his ear.
“This guy must have speed or butt-dialed me again. Ah, ge’ez!” he said as he shakes his head.
He was about to drop the call when he heard something.
“Wait a second…” and then his phone had been changed to a loudspeaker.
And I almost threw my phone away at the sound of her voice.
“Why don’t we just date, oppa?”