Zanaya’s POV
A lot of things had happened after that night.
Seth went on tour and he was out of Korea for months, fulfilling concert dates and filming SHADOW ESCAPADES.
We released our new song in which broke records on social media and we won trophies on music shows as well.
Everything was fine…
But not our relationship.
I started cutting our communication and eventually, we broke up.
At first, Seth would try to call me to the point that even Sky and Grey were trying to reach me through Tokyo and Max, but I stood firm to my decision.
It was so painful. For nights, my eyes would get swollen from all my crying. I felt so empty. I would open my phone and see his text messages. I wanted to respond but I can’t.
I wanted to tell him that I love him more and that I’ll be waiting for him.
I wanted to tell him that I’m watching their SHADOW ESCAPADES episodes every time.
I wanted him to know that I fucking care and that I always care for him.
That feeling when you’re smiling at everyone but you don’t feel anything inside you? I’m getting used to that feeling.
Every day, I’d wake up and pretend that there’s nothing wrong, that I’m happy but in reality, my walls have broken down and I felt bare and empty.
I felt nothing.
That actor, Mr. Creep took part in our break up.
No matter how hard I avoid him, he started showing up to every place I am with so a lot of pictures of us being together are circulating the media. Some articles state that we might be dating but just thinking about being beside him makes me wanna puke.
I despise him. I have never thought of hurting someone physically but with him, I feel like I will gain some kind of satisfaction if I do.
Even though I am not responding to Seth’s calls and messages, I still can’t resist the urge to read them.
It started with him sending me events from his trip. I wanted to respond especially after he started sending me his photos.
He was smiling but his eyes, the usual spark, whenever he looks at me, is gone.
I knew he was hurting.
A point came when he broke down and I can sense it on his messages. He started begging and it broke me. I felt like dying.
Why do we have to be hurt like this?
Will we ever be happy?
When photos of me and that jerk surfaces the net, Seth flipped.
Tokyo told me that Seth almost booked the next flight back to Korea if not for their schedules and due to the refusal from their management.
I can’t meet Seth right now; I might break down in front of him.
A few media outlets had been reporting that the two of us had broken up hence me being seen with that stupid jerk but neither of our company responded.
I hated it. I hated seeing that actor.
The last straw was the messages that actor had sent to Seth. He sent screenshots of our ‘fake’ conversations.
He took my phone and made exchanges with him and my phone as if we were really talking.
It was disturbing and I wanted to scream out loud after I saw the messages but it was the last time he pestered me.
After he was sure Seth and I had broken up, he stopped seeing me.
Under the sweet and gentleman image that he portrays to everyone, is a dark mask hidden behind.
He was a devil. He is someone so evil and it appalls me how he can face everyone while smiling even after ruining people’s lives and relationships.
I don’t even know why he hated Seth but that would be the last time he will do something bad to my husband.
After I refused to pretend to be his girlfriend, he slapped me on the face and I had to put so much effort to hide the bruise by putting in some makeup.
Eventually, Max noticed it and I didn’t have a choice but tell them.
I have told my members what he was trying to do and thankfully, Tokyo was able to capture a video of him trying to harass me.
Cali insisted that I tell Seth everything but I objected.
We might have been able to stop the jerk from harassing me now but I’m afraid he might do something worse to Seth.
I can’t let him get hurt.
I am willing to suffer from his hate towards me but I might die if something bad happens to him.
After he saw those messages, he still tried to reach me, telling me that he trusts me.
After all those months of not contacting him, he still told me he trusts me. So I did the last thing that I thought would make him stop. I send him a message. only to break his heart.
I told him I’m letting him go… that I no longer love him… that I don’t want to see him… And every fucking word I type is a knife being stuck on my chest, it’s sharp, it killed me.
With that, he stopped sending me messages. He shut me down completely. For a moment, I wanted to tell him that I still love him. I wanted to ask him to keep sending me messages because I enjoy reading them. I wanted to ask him not to give up on me.
I saw some of the episodes where his eyes are swollen. My heart aches just the thought of him having a hard time.
But here I am, heartbroken, alone, and feeling restless.
“Hey, your dress is so cute!”
My mind was broken off from my own trance when I heard Cali squealing in front of me. I didn’t even notice her and the others coming inside of my room.
“You lucky bitch” Max chuckled as she fixes my dress.
BP managed to snag a show for me. The thing is, it is a show where real-life couples would show how they usually are on a date, and apparently, Seth and I were signed up by both our companies.
I’m not even sure what the purpose of this show is and I don’t have the slightest idea what our company is planning.
The fact that our relationship is being broadcasted openly is scaring me a little.
I mean, normally, companies try their best to keep their artist’s relationship low, even after people find out that they were dating.
It hasn’t been long since our relationship was known to the public and we have to admit, not everyone was fond of it.
A long sigh escaped my lips.
This would be the first time the two of us will be meeting after I asked for a breakup.
Our agencies don’t have the slightest idea about what’s happening between us and since both our CEOs knew that we were married, they wouldn’t check if we’re still dating before signing us up into this shit.
Tokyo’s face softens as she stares at me. “Zaya, are you okay?” she asked as she brushed the strands of hair that fell from my loose bun.
As if an impending doom is about to come, I sat on the corner of my bead soullessly.
Without meaning it, tears escaped my eyes.
“I’m afraid to see him. What if he hates me? What if he gets mad just seeing me?” I can’t help but ask which is a little pointless.
Of course, he hates me. I broke his heart.
I felt a pair of arms wrapped around me, “Zanaya” Tokyo cooed.
“Stop crying babe, you’ll ruin your make up,” Max added but I can hear her voice shaking which made me cry even harder.
“Why don’t you tell him what happened so you’re not getting hurt like this?” I watch as Cali wipe away the tears on her cheeks. “Don’t make the same mistakes that I did, Zaya. The two of you are married. This isn’t just a simple dating problem anymore.” she added.
“Cali is right. And everyone in this room knows how much you two love each other. Why are you letting that bastard ruin you?” Tokyo sat down beside me, pulling me into a hug.
“Fight for your relationship Zaya. Or at least tell your husband, before it gets too late. He fucking hates you now because he doesn’t have the slightest idea of what’s happening. I may not be a fan of your relationship with him at first but I’ve seen enough to say that Seth loves you a lot.” Max muttered.
I contemplated whether I should follow their advice or not.
If I reach out to Seth now, there’s still a chance that he will still listen. But then I am afraid of what that actor will do. He definitely said that aside from our relationship, he had something big from Seth and afraid of what he will do to him.
SHADOW is so huge right now. A scandal wouldn’t be that best for their group at this point.
After Tokyo tried wiping the tears from my face, Cali’s phone started ringing.
“Manager!”
We all looked at her direction as we wait for her conversation to finish.
After a while, she looked back to us, a worried expression visible on her face.
“Why? do we have something?” Max asked
Just then, Cali’s face landed in my direction.
“Seth backed out so you don’t have to shoot that show anymore,” she whispered and my heart fell from my chest.
He really hates me.
The fact that he canceled a show just because of me proves it. And it fucking hurts.
“There’s something more…” she added and my tears-stricken face held a glance at her.
I watch as she checks on her phone before showing it to me.
A series of low, feeble sounds escaped my lips as I read the title of the article,
“Breaking: Seth of SHADOW and Zanaya of WHISTLE, confirmed to have broken up!”
Fuck. Why can’t I just die? I can’t take this hurt anymore…