We weren’t sitting too close but we were definitely close enough to feel the warmth of each other’s presence.
A silence had descended upon us from the moment I took a seat next to him.? From the corner of my eye, I had caught him smiling down at the soda. It made me smile too, thinking that he had smiled because I chose to sit with him but then I shoved the thought away, telling myself that it was probably because he liked the soda.
We sat there drinking quietly, no annoying slurping sounds from either of us to break the awkward silence, at least it was awkward to me. Ethan on the other hand, didn’t seem to mind the lack of conversation between us.
I glanced at him from time to time because unknowingly it had become a habit.
“Do you know why I hated you all those years ago?” He asked, taking me off guard because that was the last thing I thought he would ask or say.
It took some time to gather my thoughts and remember his and Juliet’s history.
“Of course. It was because I was a spoiled brat.”
He shook his head. “No it wasn’t that. It was just a little part of the reason.”
This piqued my interest. “So why did you hate me so much?”
“It was because you were so lively and vibrant and… and confident. You weren’t scared of anything. You would just go do whatever you wanted without thinking of the consequences. You made friends easily. You usually always had a big group of friends around you all the time. At first I thought that you only had fake friends but no, you had actual friends who cared for you. And that made me jealous. Because as you already know, I was the quiet kid in the class. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t go up and talk to someone as easily as you could. I always thought that I’d only be annoying the person I’m talking to. So I usually avoided interaction with anyone. But my parents were friends with your parents so I was forced to talk to you.” He met my eyes. “I hated that everything came so easily to you – making friends, having fun. I never experienced something like that and that made me think I was a boring person. So I started to despise you. And it eventually turned into hatred.”
Ethan’s words made me realize how much I related to him. I was also the quiet kid in my class back home. I also found it hard to make friends and would usually keep to myself.
“So I made it look like the person talking to me was the one who made me annoyed, so that they won’t do that to me. I pretended to be arrogant and proud so that I’d look unapproachable and so wouldn’t have to be in a situation where I’d worry if the person thinks nicely of me or not. Tristan is the only friend I made who I didn’t have to act around. I could be my true self around him. Of course, friendship with him didn’t happen easily. We started out with a fight. It was big enough that we both had to go to the hospital to get stitches. And then after a few days I saw him getting beat up by a group of kids because he stole their candy, so I went over to help to prove it to him that I was very strong.” Ethan chuckled. “Stupid move. In the end, we both were beat up badly but it started our friendship.”
“Wow,” I said after some time. “Your little story made me see you in a new light.”
“In a good light, I hope.”
“Yeah, in a good light.” I confirmed and took a sip.
We turned back to see Tristan and Amelia race around.
We were finished with our sodas by then and the two cans were placed between us.
As I replayed what he told me in my head, I couldn’t help but be bothered by the fact that he saw me as Juliet. The snobbish brat he once hated. It made me question if he even… liked me. Yes, there I said it. He might possibly like me, or Juliet.?
It was confusing. Did he like Juliet or Julie? It hadn’t dawned on me before. All I was concerned about was that we shouldn’t like each other because he was dating Heather and because of that my secret could come out. I never thought it in this way that whenever Ethan looked at me, for him he was looking at Juliet. He started to like a girl he thought he knew but in reality, he didn’t know me at all. Without me in this situation, I’d just be a random poor girl for him.
This realization made me extremely sad all of a sudden. I didn’t want to be here anymore.
“I want to go home,” I said, standing up abruptly.
“Are you okay?” Ethan blinked in surprise.
“Yeah. I just want to go home right now. I’ll see you later.”
“Wait, I’ll go with you.”
“No, it’s alright.”
He grabbed my hand. “Save gas. Carpool.”
I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and sort out this mess that I was in. But Ethan was more adamant on saving gas so I had to go with him.
We bid goodbye to the Harris siblings as they still continued to ride horses, this time with different horses.
The car ride was silent. He must have known that there was something on my mind and I didn’t want to show it but I couldn’t help it.
As soon as Ethan parked the car in the underground parking, I unlocked the car door without even saying bye to him.
Just as I was about to leave, Ethan strode quickly towards me. I stopped seeing him walk so swiftly towards me.
When he reached me, he gently held me in a hug.
It was so unexpected that it took a few seconds for me to realize that his one arm was wrapped around my shoulders and the other was caressing the back of my head with my head resting on his chest.
After the realization hit me, I immediately started to push him away but he held on tightly. I sighed. “Ethan, what are you doing?”
“Shh. You’re visibly upset about something and I don’t know what it is but you can use me to hug it out to make you feel better.”
I still resisted weakly.
“It won’t mean anything if you don’t want it to. Just… just relax and breathe.”
We stood there for a few minutes in the dark with just him hugging me. My hands were by my side and I fisted them to stop them from wrapping around him. I tried to harden my heart although I knew it wouldn’t last long.
I was the first to pull away. I didn’t look at him and I could feel his eyes on me. He kissed my forehead.
“You should go to sleep. Goodnight. Do you want me to walk you to your room?”
I shook my head, turned away and left.