Ariana’s POV —
As soon as I hand him the glass of water and his fingers brush up against mine, goosebumps explode across my skin. The voice of survival inside my head tells me to ignore it, blame it on the wind coming from the open window. I close my eyes, unable to look into those beautiful brown ones that I think of daily.
“Why is this so hard?” I whisper, feeling my throat tighten up with emotion. I open my eyes to find Alex watching me in-tensely, dark eyes focused on mine.
“Me. Blame it on me.” Alex responds quietly, his head suddenly hanging low. I’ve never seen him look so crushed, his spirit broken. The light that once burst from every fibre of his body has disappeared, leaving an empty shell of a human. This isn’t the Alex I know or dream of . . .
I know I’ve been battling my own nightmares but seeing someone I love battle his own makes me want to protect him with everything I have. The question pops into my thoughts that makes me re-think my actions —
How can I help someone else when I can barely get through the day myself?
“Alex, where is your father? Is he still around?” I ask him gently, reaching forward to take hold of his hand. His once golden skin is now a dull shade, muted by the poisoning of alcohol to his body. As soon as I touch him, the electricity curses through my body again and this time, it’s undeniable.
“Papa? He’s in Valencia. I haven’t seen him for a long time.” Alex murmurs, his eyes heavy from the alcohol in his system. His fingers begin fumbling with mine until he interlocks them together. I feel him gently pull on them, guiding me closer towards his body. I hesitate and remain where I am, it’s not the right time.
“Hermosa. . . Please.” Alex whispers, looking up at me from under his lashes. His dark eyes search mine, begging and pleading silently. I shake my head, a million thoughts flooding my mind.
“I don’t know if I can.” I tell him truthfully. His fingers fall limp in my hand and drop from my hold. A sadness washes over me as I realise we may never fix the broken mess of our relationship. Maybe it’s gone too far to ever be repaired. I stand up and hold my hand out for him to take —
“Come with me, lets get you cleaned up.”
For a moment, he hesitates before slowly nodding. He places his hand in mine and I pull him to his feet, heading in the direction of the bathroom. Being in his apartment brings back countless memories of Alex and I, memories that I’ll re-member forever.
*****
“You want to send him to Valencia? Is that such a good idea?” Caleb asks me, his eyes drifting over in the direction of the bathroom where Alex is currently showering. I’m wiping down the kitchen, getting rid of the alcohol and cleaning his liv-ing space. I nod my head, turning back towards Caleb.
“He has his family there, family he hasn’t seen in years. I think it’ll be good for him to take a break and see his father. We both know him Caleb, he’s a family man. He’s dreamed of going back to Valencia ever since he was a child.”
“He’s an alcoholic.” Caleb responds, his tone disagreeing with me. I pause and look at him —
“That’s exactly why he needs a break. He needs to know there’s people out there who care about his wellbeing. Do you honestly see Alex in rehab or AA meetings? He doesn’t work like that.” I respond. Caleb’s stubborn expression relaxes slightly and I know he’s beginning to get on board.
“We can’t help him Caleb. He’s too far gone and I’m not strong enough to do it.” I mumble quietly. Caleb exhales deeply, running his hands through his hair.
“I’ll miss him.”
“Hopefully he’ll be back as the Alex we once knew.” I tell him. Caleb slowly nods, clearing his throat.
“I think you’re right. Good luck getting him on board with it though.”
“I’m already on board with it.” Alex’s voice fills the air and I snap my head towards his direction. He’s leaning against the door frame, towel wrapped around his mid section. His eyes are drawn in but he looks cleaner, a little more alive. His eyes slowly lift up to meet mine —
“It’s a good idea.” He says quietly. I nod my head, dropping my gaze from his. I didn’t think Alex would agree with my idea so quickly.
“Will you come back?” Caleb says, breaking the silence in the room. Alex turns to face him before nodding his head.
“I wouldn’t leave you behind man, you’re my brother.”
Caleb smiles, eyes filling up before he makes his way towards him. They both hug, slapping each other on the back. When they pull away, Alex turns to look at me. I feel the breath knock out of my lungs and I don’t dare breathe as I wait for him to speak.
“Thanks Ariana.”
It’s almost as if he’s a stranger thanking me for a small gesture. I nod my head, turning away from him so he doesn’t see the disappointment in my face. I don’t know what I expected, for Alex to resist going to Valencia so he wouldn’t leave me behind?
That would be selfish.
“I’ll go call Papa and make the arrangements.”
“Okay, I’ll help you pack a bag.” Caleb says, disappearing to the bedroom with him. I glance around at the apartment, wondering how on earth we managed to end up in this situation. My legs involuntarily carry me across the room, towards the windows that I’ve always loved so much. The entire city lies beneath me and I place my forehead against the cool glass, closing my eyes.
“Ariana?”
I stand up straighter at the mention of my name and turn to find Alex stood a few feet away from me. He’s dressed in a white shirt and dark jeans, hair still damp from the shower. He’s just as beautiful as ever.
“Hi Alex,” I smile, sadness taking hold of my heart. His eyes flicker between mine and he takes another step forward, reaching for my hand. The warmth of his fingers heat mine up instantly and I breathe in a sharp breath.
“When I go to Valencia, can I call you?” He asks, his tone sounding nervous. He searches my eyes deeply, waiting for me to respond. I slowly nod my head, a smile stretching across my lips —
“That would be nice.”
His eyes suddenly drop to my lips and I feel my heart skip a beat as he takes another step forward.
“Can I ask you something else?” He whispers, warm breath hitting my cheeks. My stomach somersaults in nerves and ex-citement from having him so close to me.
“S-sure.” I respond, my voice barely audible.
“Will you wait for me?”
I close my eyes and breathe deeply, struggling to process his question. Can I wait for Alex? I’ve realised lately that the fu-ture isn’t guaranteed at all. Each day is a struggle to get through and I don’t know whether giving either of us false hope will help it get any easier. I don’t expect Alex to lean down, pressing his lips against mine in a slow and tender kiss. I au-tomatically melt into him, my body falling against his chest. His arms wrap around my shaking frame, supporting me.
He tastes exactly the same, addicting.
In that second, I decide I never want the kiss to end so I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him desperately close to me. His hands land on my waist and with a forced pull, I’m pressed against him in a desperate bid to get our bodies as close as possible. Every inch of my body comes alive with the electricity and desire cursing through it as Alex deepens the kiss. His hand wraps into my hair, tongue fighting with mine to make up for lost time. I release a breathy moan which only causes Alex to kiss me with more passion. I feel my knees buckle underneath me, the intensity of his kiss completely blowing me away.
It’s almost like nothing ever happened between us.
When he pulls back, he rests his forehead on mine, chest rising and falling heavily. His chocolate brown eyes search mine and when he speaks, his voice is full of vulnerability —
“Please hermosa, wait for me?”
How can I say no after that kiss?
How can I turn away someone who sparks such joy, safety, excitement and love all in one?
How can I reject the one person who makes me feel like I’m floating above the clouds, living a dream?
I simply nod my head because if one thing in my life is for certain, it’s that Alex is meant to be a part of it.