Ariana’s POV —
Later that night, I’m lying in my usual spot on the sofa, watching late night television. Instead of replaying nightmares over and over again in my head, I replay the kiss Alex and I shared today. I can still feel the pressure and contour of his lips pressed against mine. I lift my hand, tracing over my bottom lip with my fingers.
Alex felt . . . good.
Maybe it isn’t too late to salvage the relationship between him and I. When I first met Alejandro, I didn’t ever think I’d fall so madly in love with someone like him. Since that very first day, he’d taken over my thoughts and stole my heart along-side it. Alex and I share a connection and despite trying to stay away from him, that connection doesn’t fade.
I imagine him flying out to Valencia, meeting his father and his family at the airport. I silently pray that the trip is exactly what Alex needs to pull him through the dark times. It isn’t fair for either of us to try to fix the other . . .
Real life doesn’t work like that.
When two people are so broken, they need the support of everyone around them. They need to be surrounded by family, friends and love. I can’t give Alex everything that he needs and he can’t do the same for me either. Right now, being with our families and spending time with them is the right move. Alex needs to work through his issues and I need to work through mine.
That being said, it doesn’t mean we can’t help one another when the night arrives, bringing the darkness with it. Despite everything I’ve been through, Alex is my light. I don’t think I can fully heal without his support and the sense of calm he provides my heart.
As I’m lying there, filtering through all of my thoughts, I realise I should probably share them with Alex. So I pick up my phone and scroll down, landing on his contact within seconds. I barely hesitate before calling him, waiting for the smooth tone of his voice to fill the silent line.
“Hermosa.” He answers almost immediately, speaking my name in a breathy tone. I smile and close my eyes, leaning fur-ther back into the sofa cushions.
“I was just thinking about you.” He adds, his words causing flutters to fill my stomach.
“Really? I was just thinking of you.” I respond. He chuckles quietly on the other end, already sounding like a small part of him is content.
“How was the flight? How is Valencia?” I ask him, intrigued to know whether he made the right decision or not. He breathes deeply and I close my eyes, picturing his face.
“Valencia is just as beautiful as I remember. I’m actually lying on a beach now watching the sun go down. It reminds me of you.”
“You’re sweet Alex.” I smile, pulling the blanket over me to get comfortable. I spend the next few hours talking to Alex on the phone, his voice calming my night time nerves and eventually drifting me off into a sleep that I don’t fear. When I’m taking too long to respond, my breathing laboured and slow, Alex begins singing to me —
“I have died everyday, waiting for you. Darling, don’t be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. I’ll love you for a thousand more.” He sings softly, his voice causing tears to fill my eyes. I realise how much I’ve missed him . . . How much I’ve yearned to hear his voice.
“I do love you Alejandro.” I whisper, my body and mind sinking further and further into a state of sleep. Just as I’m nod-ding off, I hear him respond, his words lined with nothing but honesty —
“I love you Ariana.”
*****
“Hey Ariana! Over here,” Nikki yells, waving at me. I spot her and Caleb sat at the far end of the field, a blanket laid un-derneath them. Nerves fill my stomach as I make my way towards them, clutching a bag of refreshments and food. Once I’m close, Nikki smiles at me and walks over, pulling me into a tight embrace. I drop the bag and return her hug, just as fiercely.
It feels good to be able to be surrounded by people who experienced the trauma with me and don’t act like I’m fine china, ready to break at any moment.
“It’s so good to see you.” Nikki says softly, pulling back. I smile at her —
“It’s good to see you. How have you been?” I ask, picking the bag back up and making my way over to Caleb. He’s sitting cross legged on the floor, throwing grapes up into the air before catching them in his mouth. Upon noticing me, he props himself up onto his knees and gives me a quick hug.
“Hey Ariana.” He smiles, clearing a space on the blanket for me. I place the bag down and turn towards both of them.
“Thank you . . . For inviting me. It’s good to hang out with people who don’t treat me like a victim.” I laugh half heartedly. Nikki gives me a sympathetic smile, leaning forward to place a hand on my knee.
“We both lost something too Ariana, we know how it feels. We got your back.”
I place my hand over hers and give it a small squeeze. I can’t imagine how they both must be coping at the death of their unborn child. Next to me, Caleb grows quiet and I know he’s still struggling to come to terms with his loss.
“You’ll both make amazing parents one day, whenever that may be. Right now, let’s just focus on getting through each day, yeah?” I smile, pulling out the food from my bag. Caleb gives me a thankful smile and I return it.
“I got you pringles.” I tell him, holding up the can of sour cream and onion flavoured crisps. He gasps and takes them from me, fist pumping the air.
“These are my favourite!”
Nikki and I laugh at his reaction and we spend the rest of the day catching up with one another. I haven’t seen them for months so when a happiness fills my chest, I realise I’ve missed them immensely. Being surrounded by kind hearted peo-ple with your best intentions at heart is good for the soul. Despite having the best time, at end of the day, we all agree on one thing —
Alex’s presence was surely missed.