Ariana’s POV –
The door bell above the coffee shop rings again and before I get the chance to look up, I hear Caleb’s
pleading voice fill the air.
“Come with me. All I ask is that you talk to him for five minutes.”
I scrunch my face up in confusion and automatically shake my head. Have a face to face conversation with Alex? See him in the flesh? I can’t do that. I’m not ready for that. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.
“No.”
“Please Ariana. You need to see the state that he’s in.”
“No.” I repeat myself, looking up at Caleb’s desperate expression. Caleb places his hands on the counter, leaning forward until his face is inches away from mine. I can feel his warm breath fanning across my face and I close my eyes, breathing in to calm my nerves.
“Please.” Caleb whispers, his tone begging me to say yes. I blink and my eyes flicker between both of his. I can see the heartbreak run through them. He clears his throat, green eyes falling to the floor.
“I’m losing him Ariana. I don’t know what else to do. I’m watching my best friend kill himself slowly in front of me and nothing is helping.”
“I’m not ready Caleb.”
“Five minutes. That’s all I ask.” Caleb responds immediately. I inhale sharply, preparing myself to reject his offer for the final time. I don’t know whether it’s the image of a broken Alex flashing through my mind, the pain inside my chest or the pleading look on Caleb’s face but at the very last second, I change my mind.
“My shift finishes in ten minutes, wait outside for me.” I tell him, already regretting my decision. Caleb blows out a re-lieved breath, his shoulders visibly relaxing. He surprises me by leaning forward and placing a quick kiss on my cheek.
“Thank you, I know how hard this must be.”
“You have no idea.” I smile faintly. Caleb gives me a sympathetic look before turning around and leaving the coffee shop. I glance down at my hands and notice them shaking profusely, goosebumps covering every inch of exposed skin on my body.
The thought of Alex did always have an effect on me.
*****
Alex’s POV –
I roll over, feeling glass lodge itself into my spine. A low groan leaves my dry lips and I attempt to open my eyes but fail miserably. My shaking hand reaches round and wraps around an empty gin bottle. I lift it up and throw it away from me, relieving the uncomfortable pain in my back. I barely remember last night but I can definitely tell you how it went.
Self pity. Alcohol. More self pity. More Alcohol.
Until I crash and wake up hours later, just to do it all over again. The only time I’m sober is when Caleb comes round, forcing the alcohol down the drain before dragging me to the gym. I groggily stand up, sauntering towards my bedroom door. When I pass the mirror, I catch sight of my appearance. I freeze in place, taking a second to study myself.
My dark hair is tatty and unkept followed by the thick stubble running across my jaw. My eyes are drawn in, brimmed with redness. No doubt from the alcohol poisoning and lack of sleep. My cheeks are sunken in, warm skin now pale and blotchy. I’m slowly losing my muscle mass alongside my health. My eyes wander to the floor where countless upon count-less empty bottles lie, displaying my weakness.
I let out a low sigh, heading for the kitchen to find another bottle. Ariana’s face flashes through my mind and my face physically contorts in pain, just as it does every single day. Even if I wanted to slowly build my life back, I wouldn’t know where to start. So instead I pour myself a glass of vodka, neat. It doesn’t make the image of her sweet face disappear but it does blur it out and if that’s all I can get, I’ll take it.
I stumble over to the windows of my apartment, the vodka burning my throat as it goes down. I throw myself down onto a bean bag, studying the world underneath me.
“Cheers,” I whisper, holding the bottle up towards the windows. Tears brim my eyes and I don’t know how much time passes as I sit there silently crying to myself whilst emptying the bottle. I didn’t think it was possible to feel heart ache, es-pecially in my line of work. What happened between Ariana and I made me realise heart break is real and it hurts more than any other pain imaginable.
Behind me, I hear my front door open and close and footsteps walk inside.
“Before you say anything Caleb, this is my breakfast.” I mutter, holding the bottle high for him to see. I don’t bother turn-ing around for his reaction because I already know I’m about to hear an earful from him. Moments pass and he still doesn’t speak. I frown and turn around slowly, tears still drying on my cheeks.
That’s when the bottle falls from my hand in complete shock, landing on the floor with a loud thump. The liquid trickles out but my eyes aren’t on that, it’s focused on the girl standing in front of me.
Ariana.
She’s staring at me silently, her eyes wide with shock. Her dark hair is longer than I remember, cascading past her shoul-ders beautifully in soft curls. I feel my fingers twitch to run through the soft strands. My eyes travel to hers and I breathe in sharply, completely knocked back by the beauty of her grey eyes. I watch as they build up with a layer of unshed tears.
“Didn’t I tell you not to be buying anymore alcohol? Do you want to give yourself liver failure? Huh?” Caleb says sternly, stepping around Ariana and heading towards me. I didn’t even notice him in the room, my eyes are solely fixed on Ariana. The silence between us grows by the second, the air thick full of tension. Her eyes don’t blink once and remain trained on me, a fear and surprise in them that I’ve never seen before. I can’t imagine what those beautiful eyes have seen. . . what they’ve been through. . . Because of me.
For the first time, I drop my head in shame and disgust.
“Alex.”
The sound of my name coming from her lips causes me to squeeze my eyes shut tightly. I feel warm tears trickle down the side of my face and I let out a small pained noise in response.
“I’ll leave you two to talk. I’ll be right outside if you need me.” I hear Caleb say before his footsteps eventually grow silent and I hear the soft click of the front door behind him.
Ariana and I are alone.
Several minutes pass. Minutes filled with silence. I can’t bring myself to open my eyes because I know she’ll still be watch-ing me, observing me. I look a complete mess, I haven’t showered for days and the scent of alcohol around me is disgust-ing.
“Are you drunk?” Ariana eventually asks, her voice soft. I notice the tremble in her words and I wonder if she feels as ter-rified as I do right now. The thought of her being scared once made me want to protect her with my life but now, I don’t feel like I’m worthy to do that.
“Maybe.” I respond slowly. I hear her walk away before the sound of the kitchen tap fills the air. She pours me a glass of water and I physically tense as I hear her walk towards me.
“Here, this will help.”
I sigh heavily before opening my eyes and turning to look at her. Her hand is outstretched, offering the glass of water to me and I notice it’s trembling.
“You’re shaking.” I whisper, reaching forward to take hold of her. I re-think my action and my hands falls back in mid air.
“You’re shaking too.” Ariana responds, her words quiet. Even though the connection between us is so strong, I’ve never felt more like a stranger to her. She gestures for me to take the water and I slowly reach out to take it. As my fingers wrap around the glass, my skin briefly makes contact with hers. The electricity pulsing through our bodies is undeniable and I glance up at her from under my lashes to see whether she felt it.
She’s frozen in place, mouth parted slightly and her large grey eyes widen in shock.
One thing is for certain. . .
She definitely felt it.