Alex’s POV –
“Pour me another,” I snap my fingers, signalling for the bartender to rush over to me. He automatically reaches for the whisky bottle, pouring the liquid inside the glass. I slide it closer before lifting it up and taking a large drink. It burns the back of my throat, intensifying the tipsy state my body is in. I slam the glass down and reach forward, my fingers wrap-ping around the neck of the whisky bottle.
“Leave this with me,” I mutter, slurring my words. The bartender gives me a sympathetic look before nodding and scurry-ing away. The club is deserted, the lights dimmed low due to it being daytime. It isn’t open yet but I know in the next few hours it’ll be jam packed to the walls with the same people, the same music and the same atmosphere.
Every damn night.
I release a heavy sigh, my shoulders slumping as I use the bar to relieve most of my weight. I’m hunched over, my vision blurred with only a whisky bottle to keep me company. Papa has already left for Valencia, promising me that he’ll be back in a few weeks to gather his possessions. The invitation to join him is still open but I can’t do that, I can’t desert my life here in England. . . Even if it is a wreckage.
It’s been a day and six hours since I walked out of the hospital and away from Ariana. I can’t keep sitting there, watching her suffer whilst knowing I’m the cause of her nightmares. She has her parents now to comfort her, she doesn’t need me. I clear my throat, hanging my head low before lifting the bottle and taking a swig directly from it. The sound of a door clos-ing in the distance fills the silence and I hear footsteps walk towards me.
“You seriously think that’s going to help?”
“Go away Caleb.” I mutter, not bothering to turn around. He scoffs, standing directly behind me.
“You aren’t going to find anything but a hangover at the bottom of that bottle.” He says firmly to me. I lift the whisky in the air above my shoulders, my hands trembling slightly.
“Cheers to that.” I respond in monotone, lifting it back to my lips and taking a long drink. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, ignoring the burning sensation in them due to my lack of sleep.
“Fuck, man. When was the last time you showered or got some sleep? You stink.” Caleb grimaces, taking a seat next to me. I don’t bother responding and he sighs, reaching forward to take a clean glass from the bar. He turns it round and plac-es it in front of him.
“You should probably pour me one. If I can’t stop you, I might as well join you.” He mutters. I silently turn and pour the whiskey into his glass, my hands shaking unsteadily. I can practically see Caleb’s eyes burning into the side of my face but I avoid looking at him entirely. He clears his throat and takes the glass in his hand before lifting it up and having a drink. When he places it back down, he blows out a deep breath.
“These past few months have been rough.” He says, breaking the silence between us. I lift the bottle to my lips, losing track of how many I’ve had so far. I’m afraid if I move from the bar stool, I’ll fall to the floor. The alcohol is slowly be-ginning to dull the thoughts inside my mind which is exactly what I need.
“I don’t need a pep talk.” I say hoarsely, wishing he’d leave me alone. Caleb curses his breath, turning to face me.
“Fuck you Alex.”
I pause, slowly turning my head and narrowing my eyes at him. He’s frowning at me, green eyes burning with an intense flame.
“What?” I respond, unsure I’d heard him right. Maybe the whisky is going to my head a little too much. Caleb barely hesi-tates before repeating his words —
“I said, fuck you. You’re sitting around here moping and drinking yourself into an early grave when you should be with Ariana! We found her man, we fucking found her.” Caleb says, almost yelling at me. My shoulders visibly tense and I feel the anger brewing inside my stomach.
“Don’t Caleb, just don’t.” I warn him firmly. He scoffs, shaking his head in utter disgust.
“My baby didn’t make it. My baby isn’t alive but Ariana is! You’ve been given a second chance and here you are, fucking it up. What the hell is wrong with you?” Caleb yells at me, his voice bouncing off the walls. I close my eyes and lean for-ward, clutching at my head.
“I could’ve drank myself into oblivion but I didn’t because I still have Nikki. She needs me more than ever, just like Ariana needs you. You’re a fucking disgrace man, I pity you.” He continues, his every word causing the anger inside of me to brew stronger. I can feel the whiskey beginning to take over and I slam my hands down onto the bar, causing it to shake under the pressure.
“Shut the fuck up!” I scream, taking hold of the bottle and throwing it against the glass mirror in front of me. The sound of shattering glass fills the air and it falls to the floor. I turn to look at Caleb, my eyes brimmed with redness.
“I know I’ve ruined everything. I killed your baby, I hurt you and I hurt Nikki. I’m the fucking reason Ariana was taken and I’m the reason she isn’t the same anymore! I can’t even look at myself because I hate what I see. I’m a monster and I know I’m a disgrace. You don’t need to tell me!” I yell at him. Caleb remains rooted to the spot, his face expressionless as I scream and spit words in his direction. I stand up, my legs giving out underneath me. My vision is blurred causing me to see double of everything. I stumble, using the bar to keep myself standing upright.
“Leave me alone, you’re all better off without me.” I cry, tears of anguish and pain sliding down my cheeks. The pressure in my chest becomes unbearable to handle and I reach forward for the vodka, looking to drown my thoughts in a different bottle. When I turn around, Caleb has disappeared and I’m left all alone.
I glance around at the empty space, the silence and the dark shadows around me and decide this is exactly how I need to spend the rest of my life.
Hidden in the dark with nobody but myself to ruin.