That day seeing you with that man, confirmed my fears and instead of trusting you I jumped to conclusion. I still don’t know who that man was and I don’t mind not knowing because I know that you can never do something like that.
I read the letters you wrote, I shouldn’t have but I did. I wish you didn’t have to see what you saw in the office and I wasn’t stupid enough to cheat on you. I wish I could see what you were going through. I always thought that I would be the one to protect you from all the pain in the world, I never thought that I will be the one to cause the pain. I never wanted to hurt you Liza. I lost sight of what was important to me.
I am probably the unluckiest person in the world. I lost you to something so meaningless. You are like a beacon to me, guiding me through my life. I was lost before I found you. When we had met for the first time you had bruised my ego badly, I had never been rejected by anyone and that is what made me take an interest in you. You were like a breath of fresh air. The more I was around you, the more enamored I became. You were kind, graceful and sassy at the same time. The day we got married was the best day of my life. I had never felt more content, so complete. You are like a missing piece of my soul Liza.
I have always loved you Liza, I loved you when I first asked you out, I loved you when we got married, I even loved you when I messed it all up, I love you now and I will continue to love you forever. I can only ask you for a second chance to redeem myself and earn your trust back. You mean the world to me and I hope that I don’t lose you forever. I don’t know if I am capable enough to live without you, because without my life is not worth living.
I will be waiting for you in the park where I first tried to propose you. I hope to see you there at 7:00 pm. I love you.
Forever yours,
Jonathan’
Liza kept down the letter with shaking hands, tears were running down her cheeks. She got up and made her way to the balcony. She needed fresh air. All the emotions, all the feelings were making her feel suffocated and for a moment she wished that she was numb like she had been when she was in coma. Liza wrapped her soft pink silk robe that she wore over her nightie closer. The air was cold, making her shiver or maybe it was the coldness that had settled in her heart.
Reading it all again had reawakened the pain she had tried so hard to suppress. To know about Jonathan and Stacy had been one thing, but to hear it from Jonathan was an entirely different experience. She was feeling excruciating pain. It was almost as if she was in physical pain or maybe even worse than that.
Jonathan said that he loved her, but he wouldn’t have cheated on her if he had loved her. He wouldn’t have doubted her if he had loved her, he would have trusted her. But reading the letter had confused her more. He said that he was sorry, he said that he was guilty, he said that he was disgusted by himself. He wrote that he didn’t care for Stacy, that his relationship was purely physically but Liza didn’t know if it made her feel better that he never stopped loving her or worse about the fact that his resolve was weak enough to break at the advances of a woman he didn’t even care about.
There was no telling that he wouldn’t cheat on her again. If he did it once then he could do it again. It was difficult to think straight when he said things like she was his world and he would love her forever. But then again there was no guarantee about anything. She knew that she still loved Jonathan. It was impossible to stop loving the man she had loved for past 6 years and didn’t everyone deserve a second chance? But she didn’t know if she could handle another betrayal. It was confusing he, it was driving her nuts. Liza hated not knowing.
Tired from the situation Liza lied down on the bed, pulling the dark purple comforter over her. She lied there watching the beautiful box of letters and the rose colored letter kept on it. She turned away from it, sighed and closed her eyes. Jonathan’s face flashed in her mind and at that moment she knew what to do.