“I made the mistake of choosing my mates over Andrei, I wasn’t going to do the same again. Kids should always come first, and you don’t have to be their biological parent. However, sometimes the best parents aren’t their real ones. Anthony and Shirley showed me that, though Shirley’s character would be considered questionable to some, she loved Kat enough to throw her life away for her. Just like Anthony chose to forgive and raise my boy and love him, knowing I was the reason his daughters were dead along with his previous partner.”
Wait, why do I feel like Derrick is laying out the story of his life for a specific reason? I lean against the counter, tilt my head and cross my arms in front of my chest. “Is that why you were asking about Jonah?” I ask him.
He chuckles and nods. “Yes, I overheard you talking to Andrei earlier. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” he apologizes as he flips another pancake in the pan and reaches for the mug to take a sip of his coffee. “Andrei showed you Jonah’s father’s card, I noticed you got upset about that,” Derrick adds. I nod, wondering where exactly he is going with this conversation. “It’s not selfish,” he stresses.
My eyebrows pinch and I look at Derrick as if he just grew another head. The thing is that I never mentioned anything about why that ID card upset me, so it can’t be that he knows.
“What?”
Derrick shrugs. “You said it was selfish, and it was nothing. I know you meant you hoped he didn’t have a family because you were hoping he could stay. It’s not selfish to be willing to love someone else’s child. It’s the most selfless thing you can do. And you know what?” He gives me a grin.
“What?”
“I hope we don’t find any relatives either. You and Andrei will be good parents to that little boy, and it isn’t selfish for wanting to be,” Derrick stresses and smiles.
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and shake my head. “I think it may take some convincing for Andrei, though, if he doesn’t have family and can stay,” I correct.
“Nah, Andrei wants him too, just too scared to admit it because the boy drives him crazy. But I don’t think he will need much convincing. Anthony raised him right, and he will be a good dad.” Derrick grins at me even wider than Jonah did when he handed us the berries.
Something pulls at my heart as I think back to the overjoyed expression on the boy’s face. Ever since I saw him following Andrei, I keep wondering what his life was like before he came here. But after such a small period of time Jonah has spent in this pack, he looks so happy. So damn happy it pains me to think the happiness and excitement could fade from his bright, hopeful eyes.
I shake my head to rid myself of the thoughts, just to realize that Derrick is looking at me. “You are a good man Derrick, I am glad you are in Andrei’s life now.” I mean every single word that I say. I can see why Kat is such an amazing and selfless person, and I know she will make a great Queen. She will do anything to put her needs and wants aside just to help others with theirs.
“Nah, far from it. But I am trying to make up for it, even if it means dying to make it up to my kids. I hurt both of them the most. The two people I never should have let down,” he relays with a shrug.
“For Shirley?” I ask, confused as to how he has hurt Kat.
“No, I walked out on her too after Shirley died. Came back thanks to Andrei, but I still left when I shouldn’t have. I know better now, I will always choose my kids’ happiness over mine no matter the cost, I won’t fail them again.” Derrick explains, and once again, intense regret radiates off him.
I part my lips to say something, but Derrick cuts me off and changes the subject.
“Can you grab the ice cream? Dinner is ready,” he chimes, holding up a huge pile of chocolate chip pancakes.
I chuckle at the shit-eating grin on his lips, shake my head and grab the ice cream, while Derrick dishes dinner out onto plates.
“Speaking of my son, where the hell is he?” Derrick asks, looking around the kitchen.
I was so lost in our conversation that I didn’t notice that Andrei never came back from brushing his teeth. Just like Derrick, I peer around the kitchen, fully expecting my mate will appear out of nowhere, like he always does, but nothing.
I try to feel for him through the bond, but he blocks me out. My eyebrows pinch together in confusion. Have I done something to upset Andrei so much as to block me out for good? The berries and Jonah, it was just a joke, a little teasing and payback for him, forcing me to eat them. He wouldn’t go that far because of some fun, would he?
Derrick carefully hands me the plates, and I place them on the table. He walks to the kitchen door and yells, “Andrei, dinner is done!”
I glance to the side, where Derrick stands at the door and raise an eyebrow as I place the last plate down.
“Andrei?” Derrick repeats his name, his voice trembling. Dread creeps up on me as soon as I hear it. My eyes focus on him as Derrick looks like he is scared of something, and then wanders out of sight.
I forget the dinner and walk over to the door. Slowly, I stick my head out to see Derrick stop at the bottom of the stairs. “Son? Why didn’t you say you were out here?” He asks in a whisper.
Cautiously, I step out of the kitchen and freeze. Andrei is sitting on the bottom step with his head in his hands and well within hearing distance.
“I’m sorry, Andrei. I didn’t mean to upset you, have you been here the entire time?” Derrick gulps, cupping the back of Andrei’s neck.
“I’m sorry. I had Shirley killed,” Andrei apologizes and Derrick doesn’t bother, or he just can’t, hide how his face crumbles in pain. He swallows and looks up at the ceiling for a second, then, back at Andrei.
“Not as sorry as I am for leaving you. You don’t need to apologize to me, Andrei. We have all done some messed up shit, I don’t deserve your apology. However, I hope you accept mine because I mean it, son. I will never make that same mistake. I will never abandon you again,” Derrick vows as he kneels in front of Andrei and grasps his face in both hands. Derrick forces Andrei to lift his head from his hands. “I swear on my life son, I will make it up to you,” he promises as tears well up in his eyes.
After a moment of tension-filled silence, Derrick releases his hold on Andrei, wipes his eyes and jumps to his feet nearly with as much enthusiasm as Jonah would. “Now come on, I made dinner, so let’s hug it out in a manly way. I know you don’t like hugs and need to keep up this cold Alpha appearance.” Derrick jokes, making Andrei chuckle.
“I never said I don’t like hugs,” Andrei objects as he stands up and embraces Derrick.
“Oh, so it’s just my hugs you try to escape? Too old to hug dear old dad,” Derrick laughs as he hugs Andrei and rubs his back. It’s such a wonderful moment. Painful and tense, yes, but the outcome brings them closer together so I am glad to stand here and watch the miracle happen.
“Something like that,” Andrei admits, as I slip back into the kitchen, out of their sight.
I hurry back to the table and sit down, pretending that I wasn’t listening to their heart to heart conversation.
Derrick’s warm voice drifts through the air even at this distance. “Now, that boy Jonah, he is really something, isn’t he?” Andrei huffs as he comes into view, but doesn’t reply. Instead, he leans down to kiss my cheek and sits beside me.