I shook my head and sighed before I asked Richard to drive Mr. Simon home while Mr. Simon had asked both of us to take half day off.
“Maybe it is better for you to take a break and leave this place.” Mandy started but before I could intervene Neo intervened.
“She is right, it would be better for both of you to take some part apart from eachother, somehow I find it hard to believe that was his doing.” He continued.
“Why should I move away hinting him that this doing of his, if true or not, scared me?” I asked in disbelief that they had asked me to run away.
“Instead of seeing it as a run away, see it in the way of taking a vacation. Anyways Mr. Simon had allowed you a few weeks break for the contract with his company, use it now.” She said while linking her arms with mine while we three walked towards Neo’s car.
Mr. Simon would give all the designers some days off after completing a project but since this project has caused me a complete breakdown I didn’t want to use this day off instead had come the next day so as to bury myself into work. To say it wasn’t productive at all would be a lie. I did the best works during that time. My rage, my frustrations were poured out to be useful. It took me hours to use the unwanted emotions in right direction but once I realised I was letting him win, I used the rage burning in me to punish me to use it the right way.
But the moment I hit my bed the exhaustion and pretending faded into endless tears.
“Also hadnt your grandfather called you to visit him. You can also do that now. I will also join you. I have heard your Amsterdam has got some beautiful spots there.” She said from the front seat while Neo drove us to our apartment. I nodded and said a small okay before I looked out the window to get lost in my thoughts, Mandy took it as a cue to leave me alone to my thoughts.
My paternal grandfather, the only family member who used to call before my parents accident, had called me few days after the funeral asking me to visit him. But I had put it off to not want to visit the memories. But it has been 3 months since I have been putting it off. It is not fair to him. He was the only one from my father’s side who was kind to maintain the relation with us after my parents had eloped. I should visit him. Maybe it might be good for a change.
It had been too late to realise that change was too drastic that there would never be a way back to the way my life.
*Next Day, At Graveyard
“Dad, mom I know it’s been a while. Sorry?”
After returning to the apartment both me and Amanda had got straight to packing for 2 weeks, planning that if needed more we could just buy from there. We also made sure our absence wouldn’t cause much problems in our company, though she worked on it more than me as she was the Ceo-trainee. The next day I said to make a detour at the graveyard before continuing our journey. It took everything in me to come here alone. As it meant I have to accept the fact and could no longer pretend where everything was fine and that it was just a part of dad’s game. The last time I came here, he came with me, before we went to collect the laptop from the station. It must have been a month back if i were to guess.
~ “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard .”
“I don’t think your parents would want to see you cry in front of them”
“I will make sure she is protected and safe.”
“But I am hero in our life story. And I will make sure that this heroine is always smiling covering her ugly face.”~
All the promises he made to my parents came rushing back into my mind making me more distressed than I was. Our mind is more cruel than anyone else maybe even more than him. He atleast stops his tauntings after seeing the desired effect of his words on me. But my mind doesnt even stop even when I am already depressed from it’s effects. It makes me remind of all the times he made similar promises like that.
It feels like a dream now. A wonderful dream where his words meant everything to me that I failed to realise all his promises were just words that vanishes once it was uttered. To believe those words is the most stupid thing I have done. I now realise it as I get the effects from its aftermath.
The same words that could hurt someone deeply can also mean nothing when uttered in a promise. Speaking of promise.
“Dad, if you really was watching us from above like the stories you have always said to me. Then you must also know what has happened from the last time I was here with him. Or even if you dont know let me tell you whats’s going on..” As I was saying everything out loud I realised I went through a year’s drama in just 1-2 months. Finding laptop, catching Amanda, finding the original laptop, knowing the secret, our breakup, Ryder’s case against Mr. Simon. No wonder these days I feel like I have run for miles.
“I have no idea why you had insisted I find Ryder to help me out when you knew what was in the computer could make him turn back on us. He hates us dad. He hates us too much.” I sobbed. From the amount of times I had cried I really thought I would not be able to cry anymore but apparently my body has enough storage capacity. It equally saddens and frustrates me when I think about how I am wasting my energy and health on someone least deserving it. Wasting it on someone that I am sure would be thrilled to know how much I am suffering because of him.
My dad’s conflicting letters gives me even more headache that it makes me exhausted emotionally, physically, mentally, even more than from just the drama. I am too exhausted to be involved in anymore dramas. Maybe this trip to my father’s house might be the vacation I deserve.
Little did I know, there was no time for vacation for me.