Promises of forever were made that night, but were not spoken.
I guess not speaking them diminished their power over us, because we certainly weren’t bound to forever.
Time was against us, and we both knew it.
But it was just something we were going to have to accept.
He rips the foil with his teeth, before gently sliding it down over his length. I had aided in undressing him, but his jeans and boxers remained pooled by his bent knees, as desperation took over.
“Ready?” He asks me, and I bite my tongue hoping to suppress my terrible joke, but I can’t hold it back.
“Set, go!” I giggle, and his head drops to my still clothed chest in laughter, which neither of us have bothered to deal with, but I guess that just showed how messy and unprepared both of us were.
When we both recover from my bad sense of humour, he looks into my eyes once more, and stretches out his arms below him to gain more leverage. One more look of confirmation, to which I nod, and smile up at him.
He presses into my soaked flesh, and my head pushes back into the pillow involuntarily at the pain.
“Fuck, are you okay?”
“Yeah, just move slow,” I choke out, and wince slightly at his first thrust, but I’m glad that he doesn’t halt his movements despite noticing the pain plastered on my face.
He opens his mouth to say something, but then doesn’t, and I frown slightly because I so badly wanted to know what he was thinking right then. Instead, he lowers his head and hides it in the crook of my neck, and his curls tickle the side of my face. I hold onto his arms for balance, and I’m grateful when he goes to kiss down my neck, reaching my collarbone, because it’s a distraction from the pain.
Not that he wasn’t a distraction in himself.
He shifts his weight onto one arm again momentarily, to push my t-shirt upwards, pooling it around my neckline.
His mouth attaches to the skin on my breasts, and he sucks lightly, but remains careful with his movements below.
“Theo,” I whimper, feeling the need to say something, after being quiet for so long. It still hurt like hell, but it was more uncomfortable than anything, and only when he’d thrust in did I still wince at the slight sting that came with the movement.
I go to kiss his neck too, after feeling somewhat able to move below him. My head reaches up and my lips connect with the skin just under his earlobe, and he shivers at the warm and wet pecks I place there, before I create a slight suction.
“I’m going to,” he strains through gritted teeth, and I look up to meet his eyes again, and that’s all it takes for me to let go and reach some sort of high – I knew that because of the pain, I couldn’t reach a proper orgasm, not the first time, but I didn’t care. The pleasure was still there, and watching him thrust in an out of me as he came was more than enough. I look down to where our bodies are connected, but his eyes screw shut, and he spills over with a moan of my name, before his head collapses onto my chest.
His chest is lightly covered in sweat, and I can feel his heart thrumming rapidly against my stomach. I push back the dampened curls from his forehead, and kiss the top of his head, just as he had done mine.
“What was that for?” He looks up at me lazily through hooded eyes, and I could feel myself slipping into a trance like state.
“For giving me this,” I didn’t know what else to say, but I was the happiest girl in the world in that moment. I had lost it to someone who, perhaps didn’t care for me in the way that he should’ve, but labels, I grew to understand, were overrated.
In this moment, there was no Sam waiting on me to return to the apartment. There was no Yasmine yapping away in the back of my mind, reminding me how she’s already had Theo in this way, and many other ways too.
It was just us in his apartment, and the whole night ahead.
“What are you thinking?” He breaks the silence, and slides from between my legs to pull his boxers back up, but he tosses his jeans to the floor.
“Nothing, just that I’m glad we did this,” I smile at him, and his grin, the most breathtaking grin, takes over.
“Me too,” he admits, and joins me on the bed for the first time since my stay here. I bring the blanket up to cover my lower half, because my panties were on the floor and I was too exhausted to reach for them and put them on. I was thankful that he hadn’t removed my shirt and bra, because he has never seen me fully naked before, and even though we had just done the most intimate act there was, for some reason I still felt a little insecure about being on full display.
“Come here,” he extends his arms a little, and I cuddle into him, taking in his scent, his warmth, everything that I could possibly cherish in that moment, because I didn’t have long left.
“Happy New Year, by the way,” he says, and I look up at him almost too adoringly, but I couldn’t help it.
“Oh, yeah,” I smile, and kiss his lips one more time before we both drift off into a deep slumber, and his green eyes pouring into mine are the only dreams I have. Him holding me in his arms feels better than the sex we just had, and for a brief second I wondered if we could ever live like this realistically, if this didn’t just have to be a momentary bubble.
But I knew I couldn’t let that thought linger for too long.
I couldn’t imagine starting the New Year in a better way, and I didn’t really want to.