The more time we spent together, the more comfortable we got, naturally. But I feel as if he made me feel comfortable from the beginning, and it was my own guilt that made me feel otherwise.
His presence wasn’t what bothered me – it was the fact that we were lying to Sam, that I was lying to Sam, and getting away with it.
“How do you know I wasn’t here for the weekend?” I dare ask, knowing that I might not like the answer he would give, but also knowing that I had to find out.
“Again with the questions. Does it really matter?”
“Well, I would like to know if I had a stalker on my heels,” I giggle, and he widens his smile, before letting out a little chuckle himself.
“I don’t stalk. I’m just very attentive.”
“Is that so?” I tease him slightly, and go to pick up my bag, but he stops me, and lifts it up himself.
“I don’t need you to carry it for me, you know. I’m not as weak as I might seem.”
“Yeah well, cheerleading tends to make you… sore,” he smirks again. All this boy did was smirk.
“Of course you would know,” I laugh, but then a frown overtakes my expression as I realise that my mind involuntarily meant him and Yasmine when I had said that.
We start walking together off the field, and as if he had read my mind, he replies,
“Oh, you mean Yasmine? Yeah, she’s -”
“I’d finish that sentence off for you, if I didn’t know how close you two were.”
“You have it all wrong, Dove. We’re not close at all.”
“Yeah, because PDA is only for strangers who occasionally meet up for sex in frat party bathrooms,” the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, and he stops dead in his tracks, his eyebrows furrowed.
“How do you know about that?”
I gulp, feeling my hands trembling either side of my body. Damn Lilian for telling me that, because sometimes you are better off not knowing so much. My mind thinks up a thousand ways I could go about answering his question, but then I decide to rip a page out of his own book. With extreme effort, I force a smirk on my face, imitating his, before I say,
“Does it really matter?”
Catching on to what I’m doing, his own smirk returns, as he closes the space between us, having me face him. He leans in slightly, and his cologne hits me again, digging up the past, and lingering in the present.
“Does it trouble you, Dove?”
“What? No. I was just making a point.”
He pulls back slightly, still smiling. “Well it wasn’t necessary.”
“I’m sorry.” I admit, not sure if I meant it exactly, but I knew that if the roles were reversed I wouldn’t want him knowing such personal information. Not yet.
“Don’t be,” he shrugs, “Yas and I are a complicated topic.”
“I figured,” I let out a laugh, and he looks at me with a glimmer in his eye.
“So, you’re taking Literature?” He asks, changing the very awkward subject.
“Yes.”
“So you like to read, then?”
“I love it. Do you read?”
“Absolutely, all the time.”
I give him a funny look.
“Really?”
“No,” he chuckles, and shakes his head slightly.
“Football’s all I know.”
“What did you just call it?”
“Football?” He questions.
“You mean soccer?” I laugh, and he joins in.
“This is going to be a problem,” he says, and I nod my head in response, still smiling.
It’s funny, because I wouldn’t call that sport any other way now.
“Can I take you somewhere?”
“What?” His question certainly took me by surprise, and I didn’t hesitate in reflecting this onto my expression.
“Have you ever been to the Central Library here?”
My eyes instantly lit up at this. Seattle Central Library was the one place I promised myself I would visit while studying at college here, and revise there at least once. I never got around to doing it after I joined the team, since I spent most of my time now practising with the girls, just as much as I practiced in my own time, trying to catch up on what I had missed, so I could secure a position. And now that I had, I wanted to see the building more than anything. And so, it is for that reason that I agreed to go with him.
And maybe it wasn’t a smart choice – I didn’t want to turn him down, but deep down I knew that I should’ve. If I had been given even a slight insight into the future, showing me what was about to happen on that evening, I wouldn’t have gone.
But who was I kidding.
I was thriving in his company. I was being my annoying, curious self, and it irritated him. But I think it also challenged him, and I loved being in control.
“Okay,” I smile, and when his smile widens at my response, his features soften so much, that for a split second he resembles a younger, childlike version of himself, rather than the tall and often intimidating Theo that he was usually.
I loved this side of him, and over time I realised that I was pretty much the only one that could bring it out.
This is what I so desperately needed from Sam, and couldn’t get it.
And now that I had it, that I got a taste of it, I didn’t want to let go.