I could not think, I could not feel. A sudden sense of coldness lured me into its cave. I knew if I stayed I would hurt her with the vengeance of my words so I chose to abandon her in that aloof house until the turmoil of my heart and mind rested.
Yet when I had returned I was greeted with something I did not wait for, she leapt into my arms caressing flesh pecking me all over my face showing her profound affection for me as she begged for me to forgive her. And I could not fight her, how could I have when she glanced at me that way?
So I asked her to do something for me that I found arduous to do. To bare her soul to me and she had accepted with no reluctance. She taught me that I must soar above my walls and unveil myself to her eyes as well and I guaranteed her that I would with time.
After a while, Lumina got sick fatally sick and I fretted the pill had done something to her. I often conversed with Giovanni’s healer every night after I put my female to sleep as I discoursed with her about the symptoms and Lumina’s health. But the healer could give me no definite answer, she said she needed to check again for the first time she examined Lumina was good in shape.
I hadn’t suspected it rather the thought of having a pup simmered down so when I took her to the healer for her second check-up I was wary that she procured a sickness from the pill. But the aura around her seemed to be gleaming with a brilliant sharpness, her body had changed she had obtained a little weight and her skin shone and her flesh plumped. It was as though she was sick yet glowing at the same time.
When my eyes traced her weeping upon the floor I was terrified, I had wondered if perhaps her ailment was terminal. If perhaps there was a chance the moon wished to take her away from me. My heart hammered achingly in my chest as I gathered her into my arms and pleaded with her to speak with me.
Lumina had declared there was something within her and I gagged on my breath, I did not wish to foster my hopes for it held the probability of being a positive or a negative matter.
Please. Please. I urged the moon to award me serenity, to confer to my female her purpose.
A life, my moon blessed whispered fondly to me. The vibrations of my heart arrested as my mind paced unsteadily taking time to analyse her terms. My wolf boosted his snout into the air and discharged a tumultuous howl of victory, we had triumphed. We had given our female what she needed. I did not deserve it, that flower of the moon I truly did not. But goddess, I was celebrating. It was hope for us, for our future.
I was going to be a father and as that feather of thought descended upon the surface of my heart, the walls of my soul came toppling down. I need not hide anymore for I was going to hold a fresh love of my life that I would share with my moon blessed. My emotions compressed around my throat as I wept in front of my female for the first time.
I could not handle it, the good news. Our tree of hope had borne fruit and I wanted to scream to the world we were going to be parents. With our pup we would be stronger as one I thought, we would journey the world and nothing would be able to obstruct us. A family chosen by the moon cannot be challenged. I was proud as her male for there would be no better female to raise my pups than her, a reliably worthy Luna and mate I was awarded.
Nine months appeared too long for me to endure through but when the months passed with a slowness I savoured it thoroughly from the way her belly grew larger, the way we commenced mapping for the pup acquiring tiny outfits and such. All our talks were centred toward the pup, of the birth and our plans for the future.
I teased her that one pup would not be enough and I wanted a substantial amount of them enough to imprint our castle walls with merry screeches and laughter. I did wish to live in stillness anymore.
I had absorbed from the healer the ways I could make Lumina feel better. Her feet were regularly swollen and red. I wanted her to be comfortable so I purchased everything I possibly could find from feather pillows, sanitized towels to plush slippers for her feet. She was prone to germs as her immunity lowered so I did my greatest to shield her from every possible thing I could, taking the warnings of the healer earnestly.
Lumina had those cravings too, for soft cake and sodas. I was speechless as I sat beside her at our table with my eyes widened watching her eat enormous amounts with an immense velocity. I loved that about her, the way she devoured. I took note of it all from which dishes were her favourite and what she could not bear to swallow. I made sure the females cooked them more often to make sure my female filled her belly.
She had her insecurities that I had found amusing, my female had not detected that I did not mind her changes for even if she had transformed into a hideous beast I would still have admired her. She grew more beautiful with each rising day which baffled me to the degree that all I would do is lean beside her on our bed watching her sleep late at night.
I would skim my fingertips against her eyelids, down the bridge of her nose and over the curve of her lips. I prized her wholeheartedly but I couldn’t seem to bring myself to utter those three essential words to her, I knew she was waiting to hear them. So I resolved I would do so when she brought our pup into the world.
Father had always advised me that there was no such thing as everlasting happiness, that darkness shall always meekly crawl by the side to sink its canines and shred that contentment into bleeding pieces. I had overlooked the moon’s curse, being with Lumina always felt I was high on an addictive drug my mind often obsessed with her love.
The night Ragon cautioned me of the tradition I collapsed onto my chair, slumping down with inanimate orbs as though my soul had been emptied out of me. I was to betray one of the two whom I held dear to me. Lumina or my pack. I had to *make a choice.*