The goddess took her time with me as she kept me caged up for a while and on her chosen day she surprisingly tossed me back to my physical being as though she found no use to bother with me anymore.
I do not remember distinctly the events that unfolded after I had awoken, it was all a haze of sounds, scents and movements. But what I do recall was the way the eyes of my female lightened as she examined me. She looked as though I had breathed life back into her and I was perplexed. I was the one who had been in a coma yet why did my moon blessed resemble a corpse as well?
Was she not eating, was she not sleeping? Judgment took its time to settle within me. Lumina was not living, she was merely existing and that too not for her sake but mine hoping that I would wake up and embrace her one day. With everything Ragon had revealed to me of her lifeless days, my heart burned with tribulation.
My fault, I was once more to blame for giving her that experience. Testifying the never-ending nightmares that strangled her in her sleep I was agile to make a decision that if I were to leave her once more in the future I will do so knowing she will never be alone and had another to seek succour and love from,*I concluded I will give her a pup.*
And the opportunity chose to manifest itself to me as she claimed she was soon due for her second heat. It took me a day to prepare the small surprise for her, I knew I was not a romantic male in any sense but I wanted her to look forward to something. I sat on that leather chair late at night in my office wasting several papers endeavouring to write a warm note that would best convey my feelings.
I was aflutter for the both of us, it was the subsequent significant step in our relationship. We would be parents, a whole new identity. We would not be living for ourselves or the pack anymore but for our firstborn.
My trash can had been over packed at the period I ultimately felt my note was adequate and portrayed my heart to her. I directed one of my wolves to deliver to the house at twelve stroke midnight the bouquet and note to her. I yearned to heed her face as she studied my note, and sense the emotions that would have inundated both of us.
I suddenly felt like a juvenile male uncovering ways to make his female content yet I wondered if my actions were too late at the same time. Though I assumed I was not ready for a pup in any way but as I wrote that note to her I knew I entirely was. I told myself I would be different from my father, I would be loving and kind. *That I would be the father I never had.*
I was so thrilled for us that I was unbelievably oblivious to what my moon blessed had been ingesting behind my back. Her second betrayal was emerging to hang me by my neck and I was unaware of it until the very second I noticed the way she fled out our room after I had pacified her heat. It was unlike her for she was the type of female who would linger behind until sleep took her and I was unkind with my fucking yet she gathered the leftover of her energy fleeing from the room like a startled lamb.
I had swiftly cut the call uncaring it was an emergency and stealthily followed her. As I called her name she recoiled and dropped her pot of water to the ground. My agitation arose for her actions revealed to me her stress, her worry about the situation. I did not wish to probe for I thought it was the outcomes of her heat.
She claimed she was merely thirsty and that soothed me. I had been obtusely concerned for her yet what could I have done, she was my everything I worried for her all the time.
As I paced around her to prepare a warm bath that would comfort her sore muscles I was swiftly bestowed with a mere glimpse of a miniature white foreign object gripped tightly in her trembling right hand. Then I inhaled it, her fear. That was all it took for me to halt and demand her to unlock her hand for me.
When she archly objected and shoved the object into her mouth I lost it. I set my inner wrath loose as I thrust my hand into her mouth assaying to extract it out of her.
It was a fucking pill. For what reason, she had that vile thing in her mouth I was struggling to comprehend. Was it for her heat, to calm her pain or was she sick? I was becoming discouraged, very afraid of the formidable probabilities that came through.
Questions swamped me, how long had she been taking it, who had given it to her and the answers for them only she could supply to me. And I was not willing to hear the truth slip her mouth either for I was dying in trepidation.
She did not speak a word to me solely lamenting with discomfort, with… guilt. And as I read the label of that blasted pill my heart split into two. She did not want a pup with me, her mind had shifted. I thought she did not even wish to have sex with me anymore, she did not love me for if she did she would have never done that. In the end, my continual allegations all I could translate with a shred of evidence was that I was not making love to my female but raping her.
Lumina did not want me anymore and the racket of my heart ripping I heard it. I could not even bear to look at her but with each of my questions, she remarked with the truth that she had already the first pill, that she did it for us. I wanted to break every one of my promises to her and flow away from that sinful female of mine who never missed breaking my heart.
But never once did I blame her but myself, I was once more the cause of it. I had flunked as a mate and that actuality of it made me feel utterly worthless. What kind of a male was I if my female had to do something dangerous to herself to our future behind my back? *Unworthy, I was remarkably unworthy.*