He had no right to do so for if he did he would shame his generation with the moon. He bled each day with the choice that went against me. Against his family.
“You were carrying our pup, if I had told you then it would have strained you. Hurt you! So I hid it from you. I knew you would bear a male, Lumina. My genes hold strength it always overpowered.” He explains.
“What if it was a female? Answer me!” I scream as my son gets up wailing his tiny fists clenched face red upset to be woken up. I immediately grab him placing him upon my shoulder my palm patting his back gently.
Head raised, chest puffed spine straight he speaks his truth. “She would have been my heir. It would have been her birthright. She would have been the next Alpha. She would be worthy despite the disregard of the elders in our pack. Because she would have been ours.” He speaks wiping his tears with the back of his palm.
But he would have slept with his chosen and I would have felt it and died. That picture of them together plays over and over again in the bounds of my shattered mind. Must I die like this in agony? Must I stay and fight like I always have or can I run for the very first time?
“Stay. Stay and fight me, Lumina. Fight me all you want. Hit me. Spit at me for I will take it all but do not run. Do not run from me. From us.” He beseeches his eyes searching for my soul. He implores from the pit of his heart.
With trembling legs, I carry my weight and that of my male who wishes to sleep again. Placing my feet upon the cold ground I take tiny steps out to the hallway. Ragon and Elriam await patiently out the door and stand up straighter when they see me. I wonder what they think of all this?
I pay no attention to Ragon leaving him in the dark along with Deimos. “Tell the females to vacate my things into a room on the other side of this castle.” I tell her to which she quickly nods in acknowledgment of my words.
“Where are you going, my female?” Deimos asks whilst getting up from the floor. He stumbles and almost falls with his inability to stand well struggling to carry himself. His heart pounds in his chest almost spilling out of his ribcage. He is aware of my decision.
I walk forward not answering the one who beckons my attention but a smile graces my lips as I look down at what I have in my arms. His emeralds gaze up at me his eyes wide open watching me. “Hello, little one.” I chuckle my finger drawn to boop his nose to which he sneezes softly.
“Lumina!” Deimos follows me hurriedly without direction eager to be by my side. Eager to hold me in his arms. The me who is running away.
“Let her go, Alpha. She needs time.” Ragon speaks out.
“Let me go, Ragon. She is leaving me. She is leaving me, Ragon! She does not need time for she has made her decision. I can feel it. Lumina!” Deimos cries as he beckons me with a painful voice and that is the last I hear of him as I head to the other side of the wing.
How do you fix something that is broken? No matter the time and effort you put in putting the pieces together the scars shall remain forever and it shall never regain the beauty it once held. Deimos did not break me. No, nothing can ever break me for I shall never be weak enough to be broken. But he has broken our bond blessed by the moon, our trust that I had cherished, and our… overflowing love that we never declared to the other.
“Alpha. Which room would you like?” Elriam asks as she shows me the rooms.
“One that is fit for a queen. One that is fit for an Alpha.” I state and she quickly nods commanding the females of their chores. These are not my females and they do not know of their Alpha’s betrayal and our torn relationship. It will be kept secret for no matter what I am a Luna. It is my duty. And for that, I shall behave as if I were truly happy.
I turn back towards the hallway, it is well lit up yet I find it eerily dark and cold. Like my soul searching for light. Is this what my life is to be from here onwards? Raising my son alone whilst bleeding from my mate’s betrayal? My wolf is quiet receding into her cage laying her head upon her paws. She understands what had happened but this love-struck wolf will do nothing but demand her mate.
The sun sets and the moon comes out from hiding. Perhaps she is afraid to face me after what she saw me go through and for the first time in a long time, I did not admire her beauty.
Getting accustomed to my new room did not take me long for I had always been adaptable. My eyes sweep across the sudden change. The females did a good job. I heard Deimos protested heavily against this not letting any wolf enter our room blocking the door until Ragon calmed him and took him away.
Clasping the handle, thrusting open the doors to the terrace I sway my male in my arms raising my nose into the air taking deep but soft breaths. “Would you like me to sing you a lullaby, Kal?” I question gently. His mouth opens for a big yawn and he snuggles into my chest.
I had fed him only recently. I wonder how a small stomach can eat this much always demanding to be fed. I give him my finger to which he quickly clasps in his tiny palm.
A knock on the door disturbs our bonding and I immediately know who is behind. With a sigh, I stride towards him. Pulling open the wooden door I am met with a disheveled male. His eyes are downcast and drowsy as they regard me.
He tries to enter the room and I am swift to block his path. “You are not permitted to enter my room, Deimos.” I command and he takes a step back with a curt nod of understanding. His eyes peer into my room and scan it completely. A shaky breath leaves his lips knowing the damage has been done.
“I would like to say my wishes to my male.” Deimos utters.
With a nod, I hand over Kal to his father who is quick to grasp him and hold my pup to his chest. Deimos places his forehead on Kal’s and closes his eyes. A soft nudge to Kal’s cheek with his nose and the pup snuggles deeper into Deimos’s chest. Deimos marks Kal with his scent as I watch their new budding bond come to life.
Deimos’s eyes peek back at me but I see his silent begs. He still pleads with me to reverse my decision. Yet I am not swayed rather I shall not be swayed.
“I wish to ask you a question.” I utter.
His eyes light up and he swiftly meets my eyes. “Anything, my female.”
“What did you say you saw when you looked deep into my eyes?” I question.
“Your soul.” He whispers his voice low and soft.
“What is it showing you now, Deimos?” I ask spine straight as I watch the remaining light of his eyes drown in misery.
“It is tearing apart. It… it is dying.” His voice nothing but a silent cry to deliver him of his sin.