“Hush now, little one. I will feed you in a minute.” Words spoken with nothing but deep love and patience for the pup who calls on to be fed. He screams his tiny lungs out if his demands are not met within a few seconds.
Quickly thrusting my skirt up my thighs to clutch around my waist I rush to Kal who is wailing as if his world was ending. Picking him up from the feather mattress I carry him to the nursing chair I had brought in for me.
It was highly uncomfortable for my back to feed him on my bed so I instructed Elriam to find me a proper chair which she quickly did so in an hour. Kal nuzzles into my breast knowing it is the source of food. He often does this as a sign of hunger.
Plopping down the chair popping open the front buttons of my shirt I free my right breast pushing my nipple into his searching mouth. As soon as he feels it, his wails stop and he calms. Lips suck gently gulping down my milk. It did hurt for while feeding him but in the past days, I feel nothing but a tingling soreness making it a little easier for me. With a tired sigh, I push my head backward to lay it upon the soft pad sewed over the head of my chair.
Elriam made a good choice for this chair is exactly what I needed. Big, warm, and comfortable. A loud yawn flies past my lips whilst I close my eyes that have prominent dark circles beneath them and slowly rock myself. I had been scared to see myself in the mirror for the past few days I had barely gotten any sleep. I heard pups sleep a lot yet Kal seems to be awake most of the time demanding my attention.
A perfect life he has. He eats, he excretes, and he sleeps. No worries, no problems as long as I am next to him. I hadn’t had a single moment to enter into deep slumber for I am always afraid that something might happen to my male and I must be ready for newborn pups tend to be weak when they are born.
Though he is quite strong, the Alpha blood running fiercely within his veins a mother’s fear still possesses its severity. Perhaps if my bond with Deimos was still powerful and smooth he would have given me a helping hand every night yet my heart breaks into two. One yearns it and the other despises the idea of it.
Kal turns his head away with a small mewl from his mouth as a sign that he has finished his breakfast. His emeralds look at me as if he were peering into my soul. As if he sees and knows something that I do not. I tilt my head gazing down at him rather his eyes. “Just like your father.” I whisper. Kal’s eyes, they haunt me
every time I look at him.
His tiny gloved hand clutches onto my finger I give him, he guides it into his mouth and begins to suck on it. His eyes flutter close whilst he continues sucking. I chuckle as I watch him. “Are you trying to be cute, my male?” I whisper bending down nuzzling into his soft neck giving him a small kiss. Taking his scent in and making him take mine.
He doesn’t flinch to my action rather pays no heed to it. He has gotten quite used to my affections for at first, he cried uncomfortably with the new feelings he received.
Peering at the clock I let another sigh pass my lips. “It is time for your mother to take breakfast, little one.” I whisper whilst carrying him. I always need to whisper with him for even a small fraction of a raise in loudness startles him.
I hadn’t gone outside for almost two weeks locked shut in my room allowing only Elriam to entertain me and sometimes my females would come and go. Deimos had come every morning without hesitation bringing a tray of breakfast for me to have. He would plead for me to open the door and talk to him and let him greet his male. Yet I paid no heed to his actions or words. I needed some time for myself to think and feel by myself. I did not wish to be swayed by him.
Many nights I laid awake wailing into my hands peering at the left side of my bed. It seemed like a part of my heart was thrust out and only a hollow empty space remained. The sheets that was often warmed by the heat of his flesh was cold as ice. How could one go back to the lonely coldness when you had felt how deep the warmth of love was?
My fingers pull the handle of the drawer, hands shuffling around finding a blanket that would help keep him warm.
Wrapping him in the green blanket that matches his eyes he stills in my arms whilst he shifts around in the material. He prefers woolen blankets compared to down duvets made of feathers and I had informed Deimos through Elriam. The next morning he made sure Kal had an endless supply in all colors.
Shutting the door to my room I head towards the dining hall. Wolves greet me on the way which I reply to enthusiastically. Their eyes linger on the pup whom I hold in my arms wishing to meet him formally. When a pup is born in a pack it is the duty of the parents to arrange an event to introduce their gift to the pack.
I haven’t been thinking about it at all rather my focus is elsewhere. It is on how to adjust to being a new mother. It is quite hard, more than I had expected.
The room quietens as soon my presence befalls them. Hushed whispers on my arrival their eyes focused on Kal and me. I act normal as if their assumptions about their Alpha and Luna are not real. I heard the rumors, rather the truth that was spreading across the pack. The truth of our bond standing at the edge of it all.
His eyes welcome me first. He had been waiting for my arrival. Deimos offers me a gentle smile of greeting which I cut through with my cold eyes. He isn’t taken back like the first time he saw me a few days ago. He merely smiles again his eyes drowning in love as he regards his male and me.
He looks rather disheveled, hair sticking out in different directions eyes red and swollen. A stubble has begun to grow and it is the first I have seen since his coma for he is a male who prefers a clean shaven face. He looks shabby as if he neither has been taking care of himself nor sleeping well like me. His eye bags seems bigger than mine.
Taking a huge breath I stride past the intrigued wolves to Deimos who patiently waits. As soon as I take his right he shifts, the tension in his body dying. He calms and peers down at his sleeping male and regards him with a gentleness in his eyes. Kal still hasn’t gotten used to his father’s scent and often wails in uncomfortableness when suddenly introduced. I need to share my male with his father, it is what is right after all.
“Fast asleep, yes?” He questions. I do not reply rocking my pup slowly pushing him into a deeper slumber.
“Elriam.” I look towards my Beta who sits at my side. She turns to me swiftly, ready to receive my command.
“Yes, Alpha.” She offers me a small bow of acknowledgement.
“Would you mind taking Kal until I finish breakfast?” I ask.
“Of course.” She replies her chair screeching as it is pushed backwards. She prepares to take him, her arms around my male as Deimos steps in.
“I can take him. I will eat later it is not a necessity for me at the moment.” He offers his eyes on Kal with an urgency to hold him which I completely ignore.
“Make sure he is covered tightly. It is cold outside.” I tell Elriam. Passing my male to her gently, my eyes staring into her back until she leaves the room.