I beamed as I looked up at Benlyam. He had a smile growing on his face.
“Did you feel that?” I lightly asked, overjoyed.
He laughed. A small, soft laugh. He looked back to me, his eyes were glassy and I couldn’t help but mirror his expression.
“It’s kicking…” he whispered out. I nodded with the biggest smile and he chuckled. “Fuck,” he leaned over and kissed my forehead as he rubbed my stomach.
I felt something drip on my cheek and I glanced up to see tears leaking from his blue eyes.
“Aw, Bee. I’m sorry,” I frowned as I lifted my free hand to wipe away his tears. He smiled at me and gave me another kiss.
“You’re fine, Flower. I love you so much,” he kissed me again as another tap hit against his hand, I felt him smile against my lips. “I’m sorry we fought, I didn’t mean for the conversation to take that turn.”
He rubbed small circles and I frowned at him.
“We can talk it out, Lyam. I just don’t understand why you keep things from me,” I placed my hand on top of his and he frowned.
“Because I worry how you’ll take information,” I tilted my head at him, I couldn’t help the hurt growing inside of me. “I don’t want you to stress or anything, especially when you’re carrying our pups.”
“Well, okay, I can understand that. But, I just want you to tell me stuff, I don’t want to be in the dark.”
He sighed, biting his lips, “I’m sorry, Violet. I’ll start telling you things, for starters, the funeral will be Saturday,” he brushed a piece of hair behind my ear.
That brought my mood down, but we needed to talk about it. I nodded as my chest tightened.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered and Benlyam instantly shook his head.
“Violet, it’s not your fault. I don’t want you thinking that it is,” he kissed my forehead “this was inevitable in a sense, honey, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about it.”
I nodded and he pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“And C-Chris?” I swallowed, “you didn’t tell me a-about him.”
“I’ve had him since Sunday, again- I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to worry you.” He rubbed my belly and popped his head on his free hand. “If you really want to know I saw him yesterday and I chopped off his dick,” he shrugged and my mouth dropped open as I cringed.
“And depending how Saturday goes, I might snap off his ball sack and cook it for him. He’s already lost five fingers- one for every day he’s been here.” He said it so easily… No, I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it, not at all, I just… He’s touched me so tenderly with those hands, I didn’t want to believe what he said, but I watched him snap Mallory’s neck and he choked me plenty.
“Lyam…”
He shook his head, “That’s why I took a shower and I don’t want to hear it, honey. You forgive too easily.”
“I forgave you,” I sassed as I grabbed his hand from my stomach to pull down my shirt.
He rolled his eyes at me, “not for everything, which is a good thing, Flower. Not everything is forgivable.”
Benlyam pulled me into him and I rested my head on his arms as my eyes automatically shut. He pulled my back into his chest as he pressed a kiss to my mark. I shivered.
“Anything else we need to talk about?” he asked quietly.
“Uh,” right as I went to go say ‘no’, I thought of something, “you know I don’t like when you call me ‘Viv’.”
“I know, Flower. I’m sorry I snapped at you,” he kissed my ear, “I love you.”
I hummed, feeling drowsy as his sandalwood scent surrounded me. “I love you too. Good night, Bee.”
He kissed me again, “Night, Flower.”
The next morning was fairly easy. Benlyam and I had breakfast together then had to read over some documents and sign off on transfers and whatnot. It wasn’t too interesting, except the babies would kick sometimes. It was a nice distraction. Benlyam and I both appreciated it.
“Do you have the tracker document for Iowa, Central, territorial?” Benlyam asked as I shuffled through the documents.
“Yes, it needs to be dated and a meeting needs to be scheduled for…” I looked over at the notepad, “the fourth of December.”
He nodded, holding out his hand and I reached over to hand him the document. My shirt sleeve rode up as I reached out and you could see the faint ‘C’ at the start of the inside of my forearm.
I swallowed and quickly gave them to him and pulled my hand in my lap to yank down my sleeve so he wouldn’t see it, even if it was faint. He glanced at what I did but didn’t say anything.
… I hated his name…
It easily became my biggest insecurity and I hid it ever since I was released from the hospital. Benlyam got this ointment thing for it so it will go away but it was still in the faint stage.