… Chris was right all those times. I deserved every blow…
( ‘Violet, everything is fine. You’re better than this.’ )
I breathed out and wiped my cheek. My wrists throbbed. They wanted their release, but I was too crumbled to fix it.
( ‘Just watch the movie. It’s okay.’ )
Sage’s words didn’t help. I ran a hand through my hair and leaned back.
… I should just hand myself over to Chris…
Sage barked at me, appalled at that idea.
But I’d be doing everyone a favor. Maybe he’d kill me. Hopefully. Derek could finally get rid of me, and he wouldn’t have to feel bad because I did it all by myself. He could be with women who’d let him fuck them. He wouldn’t have to wait around and simp for pussy.
They are probably on speed dial for him…
Selene would be happy because then I wouldn’t die from Derek or myself.
A full-proof plan.
… Looks like I would be sleeping in my bed tonight…
( ‘Violet, stop this! Don’t think this way, we are done with negative thoughts!’ )
I didn’t know how long I sat there but my tears dried and my breathing was normal but I was still staring at the television screen. ‘Are you still watching?’ I was just staring at the words. They were surrounded by a nice black void. How I envied them…
The doorbell echoing broke me out of my trance. I looked over. The windows showed the night sky. I’ve been down here long.
I got up to answer the door, although truthfully it would be smarter to let Derek answer it because Chris was here. Or close.
But I still walked over to the door.
I heard footsteps descending the stairs as I opened the door. I hated myself. Despised. Loathed. In front of me, all dolled up, was Lindsay, that blonde woman. I pressed my lips together and as much as Sage screamed at me, I opened the door wider, inviting her in.
She beamed a snarky, fake smile at me and I could only look blankly at her. She glanced behind me, but I didn’t care. She could have Derek all she wanted, I’ll leave. I couldn’t care less.
I turned around, ready to go upstairs, just to figure out where Chris was and willingly hand myself over.
I almost bumped straight into a wall. A wall named Derek. I stuttered out a small ‘sorry’ and went to step around him but he grabbed my shoulder to stop me. I glared up at him. He glanced down at me, he looked slightly taken aback at my look but quickly composed himself.
He turned to Lindsay. “Why are you here?” he demanded, his voice cold.
I heard her fake giggle, “Why? Derek,” she laughed, “you know why I’m here!”
I felt myself simmer in jealousy.
“No. I’ve told you once, I’ll tell you again. Leave, there isn’t anything between us,” he flatly said.
“Rick!” I hated that. I felt myself frown. Rick? She had a nickname for him? Sage was growling at that. She felt we should be the only one to give him a nickname. “Come on baby, you still aren’t doing that? Are you?” she sounded pissed at the thought of us, which made my eyes water.
‘Fucking crybaby…’
I went to walk away but Derek tightened his grip.
“That is your Luna. Do I need to throw you in the dungeons for you to learn your place? I thought you would’ve learned it last encounter we had.” I felt the anger in him. “Leave my house.”
She sighed and stomped her foot. He raised his eyebrow. She scoffed and turned, slamming the door.
It was tense, I wanted to leave but he was keeping there.
“Flower,” he called out. I frowned. I liked it a lot when he called me that. I liked being his flower. “Look at me,” he demanded softly.
I sighed and brought my teary eyes to him. He frowned at me. He brought his thumb up to wipe away my tears.
… I always had to cry…
“Stop,” he whispered to me. “Don’t be so harsh on yourself.” He went to kiss my forehead like he always did when I was crying, but I moved, rejecting him. He was quiet, sighing. “Come on honey, let’s go eat dinner.” He went to walk away, still holding me but I jerked against him.
“No, Rick,” I spit back. He turned back at me. He didn’t like that. At all.
“Honey, please? Let’s just go have dinner, we can talk this out,” he pleaded.
I didn’t want to be his honey now.
“No, Rick. I don’t want to have dinner,” I sassed. I felt a little proud of myself, I didn’t stutter!
“Don’t call me that,” he told me. He looked irritated, but Lindsay could call him that? It was stupid in the first place!
“Why can’t I call you ‘Rick’?” I asked, my voice coming out shaky. Please don’t stutter…
I tugged my hand out of his and folded my arms.