The room grew quiet. Suffocating, I ended up holding my breath, scared of making a noise.
“Is that what you want?” he started, taking a breath, “do you want me to leave?”
I couldn’t hold his stare, I looked down to my wrist. He sighed. I quickly looked back up at him before looking down again.
He pressed his lips together and nodded, “okay Violet…” he nodded again, almost painfully. He walked to the door, leaving.
The sound seemed to echo in the room. My chest felt heavier.
No, this is the right thing to do.
I thought he’d keep his word and not see me. I was wrong, partly. I didn’t see him during the day, but when I woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream, he was there.
At first, I was startled and angry. But I grew to it. Despite my wolf’s weakened state, the bond still craved him, even if it was faint. He would just comfort me back to sleep, whether I was a screaming crying mess or if I was angry at him.
Derek would hold me until he knew I was calm enough to lay back down, then he’d sit down and hold my hand, rubbing it until I fell asleep. That was really the only time I saw him, I had no clue if he was getting sleep or not, or if he was being healthy. As much as I willed myself not to care about it because it’d be better for him, I couldn’t. I still cared
This night was slightly different.
I woke up from Chris beating me, sweating and crying. Derek immediately grabbed me.
“Shh, Flower, you’re okay. Derek’s here,” he pulled me to his chest, whispering in my hair and soothingly rubbed my back. That brought so much comfort and security to Sage, the bond and myself, even if I was mad at him.
My cries shook my body, trembling in his hold. The voices in my head may have been on hold, but Chris was evident in my mind, a black oil stain on a white shirt. Derek positioned himself on the bed and carefully pulled me in his lap, minding the IVs.
“It’s okay Violet, I got you. Nothing’s going to touch you, I got you,” he coaxed me calm.
I had my head against his chest as he ran his finger through my hair.
No.
“Are you okay, Violet?” he asked, pulling back slightly.
I nodded my head and went to come off his lap and lay back down but he stilled me.
“Words,” he reminded me, holding me.
“Yes…” I whispered.
Derek loosened his hold and let me crawl off of him and lie back down. He turned on the low lights. He got off the bed and sat down in the chair, reaching for my hand.
No.
I yanked it away before he could touch me.
“Vio-”
“No,” I told him, “you s-shouldn’t be here.”
I saw him clench his fist. “Why shouldn’t I be here Violet?” he asked me, trying to stay level-headed.
“I told you, you don’t need me and s-should just leave me. It’d be best,” I spoke, my voice wavering.
Derek closed his eyes for a second, trying to control whatever he was internally battling.
“Violet,” it came out like a warning. My heartbeat spiked.
“No!” my breathing was getting heavy. “No, Derek, you need to leave me! You don’t need me and you don’t want me!” I told him, my voice rising.
He lightly growled, another warning. “Violet, that’s not true. I do want you!” he voiced.
“No you don’t,” my voice cracked, tears forming but I held them back, “you just feel bad because I tried to kill myself!”
He got up out of his chair, ” don’t you dare say that Violet,” I couldn’t help but flinch at the cussing, “you are my mate, dammit!”
“Don’t say it like it means s-something to you!” I yelled, he growled. “You don’t care! It’s just a word to you!” tears started leaking out of my eyes. “You didn’t want me in the beginning, you don’t want me now, you just feel bad! It’s guilt!”
He reached out and grabbed my jaw, bringing me closer to him, I gasped.
“Don’t say that! You are my mate, I’d do anything for you!” he growled out.
I went to pull away from his hand but he held me.
“No,” I pulled again and he tightened. He growled and leaned down, attacking my lips with his own.
A sound of protest left my lips and I jerked my head back but his other hand grabbed it and held it in place. He assaulted my lips with desire, passion, need, and anger. I pushed my hands against his chest, trying to pull away.
Chris.
I choked at the similarity. I pushed him again, pinching him. He roughly pulled back and stared at my blotchy, teary face.
His eyes flashed in the dimly lit room.
“You don’t care!” I gritted out.
He growled, “Violet! Yes. I. Do. You’re my mate! You are mine!”
“That doesn’t mean a-anything! You just like the idea of it, you don’t like me! You just feel guilty! That’s not the s-same!” I rasped and finally yanked my face from his grip, rubbing my hurt chin. “You like the idea of a m-mate, but that’s not me!” I glared at him as he studied my hands. Those last words hurt, I was his mate, that was me, but I wasn’t what he envisioned.
“Violet! Y-”
“No! Stop!” I yelled and pressed the doctor’s call button. His eyes followed and immediately darkened. He walked over and ripped it from my hand, immediately breaking it.
“I already apologized for what I did, stop fighting me on this!” he yelled and my heart picked up, not in a good way.
“Get away from me!” I yelped when he stalked to me and yanked my arm. He kissed me again and I kneed his stomach. He pulled back growling. My breathing became ragged, my throat closing up and my head pounding.
“G-Get off!” I yelled at him, but he tightened his grip on my arm. He leaned down to kiss me again, but I brought my hand up and smacked him.
His whole body stilled.
My breathing didn’t. My headache didn’t.
“Leave!” I yanked my arm out of his tight hold.
His eyes seemed distant, lost. I had no air coming in and I was a panting mess on the bed, I went to grab the cord to call for assistance but he broke it. My tears flooded my eyesight and I grabbed my chest.
Despite our fight, Derek knew what was happening and got me an inhaler, immediately assisting me.
Once I was able to breathe, he simply pulled away and left the room. Seconds after he left, Reseda came running in.