Days passed and slowly I was being pulled into my comatose body, leaving the moon-colored layout of liminality. I was often going into hypnagogic hallucinations and that’s when the Moon Goddess would talk to me.
Recently I haven’t had them, instead a blackness cocooned me and a numbness weighed down on my body. A bitter feeling was expanding in my chest, directed to Derek. Maybe because when the Moon Goddess spoke to me, she was justifying his actions in a sense.
“Violet, today I had a conference with my Statal Alphas over the phone, it was interesting…”
I heard his voice, talking to me. Sometimes he’d only say a few things. I heard him faintly do his work, I heard when he got up to take a shower, I heard when he talked to Garret. Not all the time, only when I filtered between the two dimensions.
“Violet, I miss you. I miss the way you kiss, the way you smell, the way you played with my hair. I even missed the way you traced patterns on my hands.”
I heard, unable to react. The bitterness flourished, he didn’t miss me. He was just guilty, if he cared as much as he said, he would’ve done things differently. He didn’t miss me.
Some more days passed and my hallucinations became shorter and hazy, the last thing Selene told me was that it was moving on to the fourth week. After that, I haven’t seen her again.
Within those days someone visited Derek. Someone I wasn’t that fond of.
“Derek, come on. Just leave, I don’t know why you’re hanging around her. Let’s go have some fun.” the feminine voice purred.
“It’s Alpha to you Lindsay,” Derek growled back. “I’m not touching you, leave.”
She huffed. “Are you serious!? You’re going to wait around for this skimpy tramp-”
A growl cut her off. “Don’t you disrespect your Luna like that!”
“Please! That thing won’t be the Luna, we all know it! She’s skinny and ugly! Weak!” the girl, Lindsay, shrieked in anger.
It was silent for a while. Then there were footsteps. Dangerous, hazardous footsteps. A low growl emitted from Derek.
Then I slipped out. It was beyond frustrating, especially when I was stuck in my body. I couldn’t see or move, only hear.
Days passed and passed.
Doctor Reseda came in, and she spoke to Derek, saying it was time to move me, to prevent the bed sores.
“Yeah, I’ll get her.” I heard Derek’s footsteps near the presumed bed.
Hands touched my legs. I felt it, sparks tingled where he touched me. I heard the beeping of the heart monitor pick up. A small gasp was heard and his hands immediately stopped moving and rested where they were.
“Alpha…” Doctor Reseda whispered.
I felt Derek’s hand move to my arm, sparks meeting. I was shocked at how my body responded, that I was actually able to feel something instead of the static numbing.
“She’s responding, that’s good,” Reseda informed him and I heard Derek hum in response.
For the next few days, Derek would caress various parts, Reseda would record the results. He only touched my arms and neck, rarely my legs, besides moving me.
“Alpha, I’ll be back,” Reseda said, followed by the sound of the door. I hated not being able to see everything.
“Flower, come on. Open those eyes, honey…” Derek murmured.
I so badly wanted to respond to him. His nose brushed my cheek and the heart monitor spiked. I heard him chuckle against my skin.
“My Flower, I don’t want to play this game,” he whispered. “Open those beauties… I miss you, honey.”
The beeping resonated throughout the room, my blind vision not able to pinpoint where it was exactly. I felt Derek move his head down, skimming my cheek down to my neck, sparks following like a lost puppy. I felt him near my mark, my heart uncontrollably beating faster and faster.
He chuckled against my skin. He pressed a small kiss to my neck.
“Come on my Flower…” he sounded almost desperate.
Then, he lightly kissed my mark. Light buffered the black screen I was wrapped in and a muffled groan left me lips.
“There we go…” he pressed another kiss to my mark, lingering. The lightness started to battle the black. He kissed my mark again and a muffled groan left.
“Violet…” he whispered.
Just the way he said my name brought feeling back to my mouth. I parted my lips. He kissed the mark again.
“You’re so close Flower.”
Flower. I loved that so much, but I needed to stay strong and stick to my wits.
A gasp left my lips. It was small, but he heard it. Lightness finally toppled the dark. He latched onto my mark, kissing and sucking. One of his hands grabbed my hand and gave it a light squeeze.
I tried to open my eyes, but they burned with the harsh light. Derek pulled back from my mark.
“Violet, open those beautiful russet eyes…” Derek whispered, his breath hitting my face.
A soft groan left my lips as I attempted to lift them. He brought a hand up to cup my cheek while his other tangled in my hand.
Finally, I cracked them, light shown through. I had to blink a few times before they fully opened.
“Flower,” Derek whispered.
He was the first thing I saw, his beauty meeting my eyes. He pulled back slightly from me to give me space. I just stared at him. His blue eyes sparkling with joy and relief, a smile trying to be contained rested on his features. He had grown a little stubble on his jaw and his face looked thinner.
“Violet, can you hear me?” He asked.
I was lost in his features. My mouth parted to answer his question but my throat was so dry nothing came out.
“Oh, Flower, I’ll get you some water,” his eyes grew wider and he rushed over somewhere and came back with a cup of water. He gently held it to my lips as I drank.
He pulled it back when I was done, sitting somewhere on his tray table. He pressed a button by the bed, I assumed he called for a doctor.
Before we could utter a word to each other, Doctor Reseda walked in. Her eyes were glassy and she rushed to my bed. She smiled at me and quickly took care of what she had to do. I kept quiet while she did her work, my eyes focused on my wrist. She was done quickly, spoke to Derek, adjusted the bed so I was at a comfortable sitting position, and left.
I felt him staring at me, I kept my eyes glued to my wrists. Wrapped in bandages and IV’s poked out from my hand. When was he going to speak? Was he going to apologize? I already told myself I won’t accept it, I had to grow a backbone.
Maybe it was Selene who brought me the confidence to be able to stick to this or maybe it was just my common sense kicking in. I felt lesser without my wolf, I wouldn’t forgive him. She was gone because of him.
‘No, because of you-‘
… Shut up. You mean nothing…
They were quiet after that.
“Violet?” Derek whispered. I brought my gaze to him, keeping my eyes emotionless. “Honey, I’m so fucki- I’m sorry. I never thought I – you- I’m just… I’m sorry-” I cut him off before he could get farther.
“No.”
He furrowed his dark eyebrows. “I know yo-”
“No.” I cut him off again. The heart monitor was going off like crazy. “No, Alpha, you’re not s-sorry,” I spoke, trying to keep my speech impediment in check.
“Violet-”
“No!” I yelped. He looked taken aback by my outburst. “You don’t get to a-apologize to me! You k… you knew what you were doing and you didn’t care! I’m done forgiving you and continuing on! You s-should be happy, you can go s-screw whoever you want!” I let out, feeling a little winded.
I saw his eyes flash quickly, no doubt his Alpha side kicking in from the disrespect I dished.
“Violet, please,” he begged, “I don’t want to ‘screw whoever’, I don’t want them. I’m sorry what I did to you, I really am, please-”
“No,” it came out as a whisper, but he stopped talking. “I can’t… Please, leave. I don’t want to do this again. You can see whoever you want, I’m not holding you back, but I can’t do this…” His eyes grew lighter and then darker, then lighter. His oceans forming a typhoon.