— extreme TW —
I woke up sweaty and with a pounding headache. I lifted a heavy hand to rest on my temple, while I focused on my breathing to calm myself down.
…”I don’t fuck crybabies.”…
My chest stung. Tears graced my eye rims, but I blinked them away. I was going to talk to Derek. I’m going to do something about this.
I hauled myself out of bed, took a scalding hot shower to relish in the small amount of release I was able to find since I couldn’t cut anymore.
Yet…
My brows furrowed at the thought. Yet?
I pushed it back and finished in the shower, stepping out and dressing in some dark jeans and a long-sleeved army green shirt. I brushed my hair and struggled to apply my make-up without the guidance of a mirror. It was just foundation and mascara.
Just as I was about to walk out of the bathroom, there was a knock at my door. Fear nestled in my chest, but still, I walked over to the door to reveal the mystery visitor. I opened the door to see one of the female chefs. In her hands was a plate of breakfast items along with a glass of water and juice.
“Good morning. The Alpha has instructed me to give you your breakfast,” she told me and handed the plate and glass to me. She nodded to me and then left.
I closed the door slightly confused, and then walked over to the bed, setting the dishes on the nightstand. The plate was filled with scrambled eggs, two pieces of toast, and sausage. I wouldn’t be able to finish all of it…
…”I expect you to eat three meals a day, Violet. Meals. That doesn’t mean an apple or banana as breakfast or lunch.”…
…”If you don’t eat because you could possibly die, and since we’re sadly bound together, that would deeply affect my well being, because that means I could die”…
I forced myself to start eating, my antics are not going to cause another death. I’ve done too much already.
I ate the toast, and some water before taking a few bites out of the sausage. I started to feel full but his words kept me eating.
‘Do you think the blonde starves herself?’
‘Eat, weakling.’
‘The blonde isn’t weak.’
I felt sick when I started the eggs, but I forced them in my mouth, slightly gagging when I swallowed them. Tears brimmed my eyes at the ill-pain in my gut but I soldiered through. I coughed before I dug up the last thing of eggs and shakingly put them in my mouth, tightly swallowing and then grabbing the juice.
My stomach jumped and soon I was rushing to the bathroom, throwing up everything. A few stray tears fell down my cheeks and I wiped them while I slumped against the toilet, emptying my guts.
After I relaxed a little, I got up and brushed my teeth, changing into a dark blue shirt before walking back out to grab the dish, taking it downstairs. As I walked down the stairs, my stomach did some flips, not yet settled from the food I forced myself to eat.
I quietly walked into the kitchen and went to wash the dishes but a cook shooed me away, telling me it was their job. My face heated up and left them, walking into the home theater, watching a movie.
I didn’t really pay attention during it, my mind wandered off to anything, so I ended up turning it off halfway through the movie. I walked my way back upstairs and found myself walking in the direction of Derek’s office. Ironically, he stepped out of his office, turning my way.
My face heated up and submissively looked down. He started walking closer, slightly growling and I looked back up at him. He raised an eyebrow at me.
“Yes?” he asked annoyed.
My face flushed, and I glanced down before looking back up at him.
“I… um, I wanted to talk to you…” I mumbled.
He sighed, “I can’t understand you when you mumble. Learn to speak,” he scolded and I nodded, embarrassed. “Get on with it, Violet, I don’t have all day. I have Garret waiting in my office. I am a man of a high ranking and have duties to fulfill, something you’ll never understand. So if you don’t mind…” he flicked his hand motioning for me to move, but I stayed planted on the wooden floors. “Violet-” he growled.
“Why don’t you want me?” I blurted out, immediately cringing.
He rolled his eyes and sighed, “this? This is what I have to waste my time today?”
‘Wasting his time.’
‘Waste of space, and life.’
“I’m s-sorry, but I don’t understand,” I tried to keep my voice from cracking, “you… you yell at me when I cut myself or when I call C-Chris my mate, but you still sleep around.” I blinked, tears starting to form in my eyes.
He laughed, crossing his arms over his sculpted chest. “Fuck!” he chuckled, “Violet, how dumb and ignorant are you?” he quizzed while my ears got warm, “do you actually think I care about you?” he chortled again, “That’s funny, really is. No, I don’t. I have a retarded bond that would inevitably hurt me if anything happens to you. And, I care about myself a thousand times more than I care about you, runt.”
I swallowed my tears, trying to act strong. Why would I ask, if I knew I would get hurt.
“I could do… things… to you. I-I… why do you a-always have other girls doing those things?” I whispered.
“Ew. That’s disgusting, I don’t want you, you’ve spread your legs for however many guys. I doubt you could even equate to the women I fuck,” he patronized me, “and, I told you, I don’t fuck crybabies. I doubt you would barely last, I could touch a single strand of your hair and you’d start bawling!” he exclaimed.
“I’m not a crybaby.” It was a lie, I knew I was.
He dry chortled, “Violet, you’re crying right now,” he smirked as I brought my hand up only to be met with wetness. “You’re a crybaby,” he declared, “do you even know how many women I fucked? And I can tell you what- they are all women of power, and they mean something in life, and look at yourself. Why would I fuck that? Why would anyone besides the clear indicator that you’re easy.”
I felt myself shrinking with each truthful word he said. It wasn’t fair but I was still hurt.
“Then let me go!” I angrily whispered to him, but he didn’t like that. He stepped towards me and yanked my face up to his.
“You don’t raise your voice at your Alpha!” then he smirked, “where would you even go, Violet? Huh?” he raised an eyebrow, “tell me, where?” he grinned when I didn’t answer him, knowing he got what he wanted.
He let go of my face. “You’ll never be anything to me, I want you to always remember that. I don’t want you, I barely even need you, if not for my wolf, you wouldn’t even be here.”
I pressed my lips together, and brought my teary eyes down, nodding.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Good Girl,” he smugly said, knowing it was a trigger for me. A ‘good’ one, an indication I did something well.
Instinctively, my heart rate spiked at those words. Then I realized it was all mind games to him.
“You’re a bastard who can’t keep his dick in his pants.”
I regretted them the moment they left my mouth. What was that? My wolf hasn’t talked to me since last night, so I knew it wasn’t her and I would never talk to my superior with such disrespectful words. But I did…
He growled, stepping closer to me before he brought his hand down on my check. My head went to the side and with the impact he gave me, I fell on the ground, landing on my butt.