Kevin drove the car to a chili noodle shop, which was Freya’s favorite place in the past. She loved eating spicy food. Every time he ate with sweat, but she didn’t even frown.
This noodle shop was near the university city. Kevin had not been here for a long time. In his fourth year of college, he met his freshman sister Freya here. That day, the sunlight through the glass, she sat in the window seat, reading a perhaps very funny book, laughing like an overgrown child.
Afternoon, sunshine, and a smiling girl, left a so deep impression on him.
Because of his good family background and appearance, he had been the target of young girls since his middle school days. But he never fell in love with any girl. Because in his eyes, those girls who only daydream all day long were tiresome. Freya’s appearance completely overturned his paranoid notion.
Her enthusiasm, exuberance, and intelligence and cuteness, were all things he couldn’t see in other girls.
And so they fall in love deeply.
The Chili Noodle House was still so popular, because there was a wall on the right side of the noodle house that was covered with traces that every student who came out of the university town had left behind, either wishes or secrets.
Freya liked to write some words to put on the wall, and Kevin made fun of her every time for being childish, but he would always sneak off alone after a few days to look over what she had written.
“Sir, would you like some noodles?”
The owner of the noodle shop had changed, sounding like an outlander. But fortunately the habit of preserving traces of youth for students hadn’t changed, and the walls were still densely lined with colorful post-it notes.
“I’d like a bowl of spicy noodles.”
Kevin walked to the center of the wall. Among the dazzling pile of post-it notes, he actually found Freya’s handwriting at a glance. He had read almost all of the words she had written, but what he had in his hands at the moment was like a declaration of love that was destined to be seen by him, and it was the only one he had never seen.
“I used to like you so much, and still do, but I can’t be with you.”
September 9th, 2008. Freya.
Kevin’s fingers trembled, and he was so harrowing. He thought back to the bits and pieces with Freya and was hesitant.
The boss brought the spicy noodles to him, and he finished eating the bowl of spicy noodles. For the first time, he didn’t feel spicy, but only bitter.
Just when he was ready to forget the past and the woman he loved, he was made to know that there was helplessness behind her departure.
What could be more painful than that the woman you loved obviously betrayed you and left you, but then you suddenly realized that she actually loved you all along?
It was late, the autumn came quietly. The air mixed with no longer the warmth of summer, but the thin coolness that belongs to autumn alone.
Bella uneasily walked back and forth in her room. It was already early in the morning, but Kevin has not yet returned. His phone also did not get through. She wanted to go out to look for him. But she did not know where she should go to, and was very worried that if something bad happened to him.
Just when she was anxious and uneasy, the sound of stumbling footsteps came from outside the door. She rushed out and saw Kevin return safely. Only then did she feel relieved.
“Have you been drinking?”
She smelled the strong smell of wine on him, and helped him sit down on the sofa, got up and ran to the bathroom to wring a cool towel to wipe his face. She then ran downstairs to take a cup of honey water. It was not difficult to see her hidden love.
“Don’t you work well?”
When Kevin was sober, she asked softly. She never thought that he would drink because of being disappointed in love. Since just last night, he had promised to forget the past to be a normal person.
“No, I’m going to take a shower.”
Kevin weakly stood up and walked towards the bathroom unsteadily, and Bella felt very uneasy as she watched him.
He returned safely. She should be at ease to go to sleep. But she couldn’t sleep peacefully due to the sudden uneasy emotions. She was just sitting there, until Kevin came out.
Bella finally understood what she was feeling uneasy about, the moment she glanced at the words on Kevin’s chest.
“Did you go to wash the tattoo today?”
She stared bleakly at the tattoos that hadn’t been washed completely yet. He still loved the woman.
“Yes.”
Kevin faintly responded.
“Then why didn’t you wash it off?”
Knowing the reason, she still wanted him to say it himself.
“It’s late, go to sleep. Having not enough rest will affect the quality of teaching tomorrow.”
Kevin obviously didn’t want to talk about it, so he changed the topic.
Bella turned around sadly and walked step by step towards her secret room, thinking of her disappointed in a love affair before she could confess. She was so unhappy…
Then, suddenly, she stopped, looked at him longingly and said, “If I told you now that I like you, would you believe me?”
Kevin was startled and faked a smile, “I don’t believe it.”
“Why?”
“Because a warm woman wouldn’t like a cold man like me.”
She bravely said what was in her heart, “You’re wrong, although even I don’t believe it myself, it’s a fact that I like you. Kevin, listen carefully, I like you.”
Kevin froze abruptly, like a petrified statue on the spot…
It was only after a long time that he said, “I’m sorry.”
Sorry could make one feel better at some times, and at others, it could also make one’s heart break.
Just like now, Bella listened to his words that she had once very much wished he could say to her, and she was heartbroken. For the first time, she was brave enough to give up her hatred to love someone with all her heart, but his sorry cruelly reminded her that love was not unidirectional.
“Am I bad or am I not as good as her?”
Kevin gripped her shoulders and said guiltily, “You’re not bad. But I don’t like you.”
Bella’s tears fell all of a sudden. If he said she wasn’t good enough, she could work hard to change it, but he said he didn’t like her, what could she do?
“Okay, I get it.”
She stubbornly turned around, and held back the tears in front of him. If she couldn’t get love, then she didn’t care for sympathy.
Into the room with the door closed, she burst into tears, crouched helplessly by the door, hands on her knees, and did not know what she should do in the future. She tried to suppress her crying, Kevin standing by the door still clearly heard.
This was the second time, Kevin heard Bella’s cries. He was sad, and wanted to knock on the door, but he gave up. At this time, he was very clear what she wanted to hear was by no means his words of comfort.
Love was always so cruel.
Bella began to run away from Kevin. In the morning she woke up earlier than him, and in the evening, she returned later than him. She tried her best not be alone with him, because she wasn’t able to face him frankly.
The depressed mood and haggard look soon attracted the attention of her best friend, Alice.
Alice asked her at the cafe, “What has happened recently? Why have you been so emotionally distraught?”
She shook her head distantly, weakly stirring the bitter coffee in front of her, “Nothing.”
“Are you trying to hide it from me? How long have I known you? What can’t we say?”
“It’s not something glorious, but more pathetic.”
When Bella said that, Alice understood, “You confessed to Kevin, and he said that he was unable to accept your love for the time being, right?”
“Worse than that, he said he couldn’t love me without hesitation.”
Alice frowned. She was very distressed and grabbed her hand to comfort her, “Forget it. There are many men in the world.”
“I’m not reconciled. I give up revenge, but he won’t even give me a chance..”
“Then don’t give up. I don’t believe there are any men who don’t like you!”
Bella looked askance out the window, lonely said, “Men have first love complexes. How do I let him give up his first love?”
“It’s not a big deal. It’s just a memory. As long as you put in the effort, you will definitely be able to let Kevin love you.”
Kevin was sitting in a huge office, holding his phone in his hand and flipping it back and forth. It had been three days. He hadn’t said a word to Bella. When occasionally meeting her, she quickly left before he had a chance to speak.