He took over the kiss, carrying her up and dropping her on the bed his lips not leaving hers, as he gently let off the straps of her dress, she moaned into his mouth, this was too much, the way she was feeling, and he was just kissing her, she wanted him to do more, to give her more, his lips became even more urgent on hers as he took off her dress completely leaving her in just her undies, she let him, feeling him all over her, drowning on his touch on her body, her body begging him for more.
“I want you,”
He whispered against her lips and she whimpered, she wanted him too, wanted everything he had to offer, wanted to give herself to him and just let consequences be damn, but she couldn’t bring herself to do this, she couldn’t sleep with him no matter how much she wanted him, she pushed him off her, getting off the bed, she quickly wore her dress back with shaking hands while he sat on the bed looking angry, she understood, he was right to be angry, she shouldn’t have let this get so far.
“I am sorry,”
She said feeling ashamed.
“Natalie, we are married, why?”
He asked getting off the bed and walking towards her, she took a step back every step he took towards her, putting her hands up as a form of blockage, he stopped walking, passed his hand through his hair, and let out a frustrated hiss, she expected him to shout at her but he didn’t he was just watching her, expecting her to say something but she didn’t have anything to say if only she could tell him the truth and just put an end to all these.
“I am sorry, I just can’t, I am sorry,”
“Come on Natalie, you can tell me,”
He invited softly, he was talking in a rather calm voice.
“You don’t understand,”
“Then make me understand, why don’t you like me touching you? Why don’t you want us to be together in the way other married couples are, we have been married for more than a week now,”
“I am not ready yet, I am sorry,”
“Are you sure or do you just not like my touch? Tell me!”
“That’s not it Rafael,”
“Then what is it? What is the problem?”
“I can’t, I just can’t,”
She said and ran away, entering into the room and closing the door, tears flowing down her eyes, it was getting harder and harder not to give in, tonight had been beautiful everything, from the surprise studio he had made for her, he turned a whole building into her personal space, she knew if he knew the real Natalie didn’t like art and wasn’t interested he won’t have done it, the fact that she talked art with him once, met him at an art shop once, and he had gone out of his way to building a studio for her, it felt so wholesome that she wanted to reward him but she couldn’t, at the end of the day he was still her sister’s not hers and she was still just holding on to Natalie’s life temporarily, she shouldn’t forget that no matter what he did for her to try and make her his in every way.
She went to lay on the bed, the kiss and everything replaying in her head. She wanted to go back to him, wrap her arms around his neck and drown in his kisses but she couldn’t.
“Fuck you, Natalie,”
She whispered wiping her tears, she felt terrible for agreeing to this, for deceiving Rafael, he deserved better than what she and her sister were doing to him, he deserved better, he deserved to know the truth.
“Natalie?”
She heard him, closing her eyes, wishing for him to go away.
“Can I come in? I just want to talk,”
She was surprised that he wasn’t mad at her, the door opened and he stepped into the room, he looked at her and scratched his head.
“I am sorry about that, I told you before that you can take your time, but don’t let it be forever though, I can’t keep going like this.
“Thank you,”
“It’s fine, good night,”
He said coming over to where she was and kissing her softly on the forehead, that felt nice at first but when he left the room, she felt guilty all over again, felt guilt eating her up, she was sure Rafael would be really mad if he finds out what she and her sister were doing to him, it was supposed to be for one week, it wasn’t supposed to come this far, she wasn’t supposed to start liking him…
*****
Three weeks later, Nicole stood admiring the work she just finished, yes you heard right, three weeks after the date with Rafael and him gifting her this amazing studio, she was still leaving with him, she still couldn’t reach Natalie but surprisingly, she had contacted her mom who told Nicole about it, apparently, Natalie was in South Korea, she freaking left the US and went to Asian, Nicole had collected the number from her mom but when she called Natalie didn’t take her calls, she called her with another number and she picked up as soon as she heard her voice, she hung up and she couldn’t reach her again until this day, she was still trying her best to reach out to Natalie, she was this close to telling Rafael the truth.
Speaking of Rafael, since that incident the night he gifted her this studio, he hadn’t made any advances towards her except for the usual kissing, which he did a lot, she couldn’t stop him from doing that at least and he didn’t take it further than that, she could say they have been fine so far at least they understood each other more now and they hardly have arguments again, they still do but not all the time and when they do now, they resolve it, she knew he was giving her the time she requested for but it’s being over three weeks and over a month since they got married, she knew she was going to have to give in soon since her traitor of a sister decided not to show up, how hard was it for her to just turn up and say, ‘I am sorry Rafael but I want out?’ How hard is that? Natalie was such a foolish chicken.
“Let’s just do it, who knows it might be good to gain the experience,”
The voice in her head whispered.
“Sure, shall we do it? So after that what comes next?”
She asked herself out loud.
“Well, we continue doing it until she comes around,”
“And then after that?”
“Well,”
“See, shut up, I am not going to do it,”
She wasn’t, she has thought about it for long, three whole weeks, counting each day, waiting for her sister to return while holding the urge to give in to Rafael, three weeks of it and she still hasn’t been able to come up with a solution, what will happen if she gave herself to Rafael and Natalie shows up the next day? She will be broken, she knew she would be, she already likes him too much, he wasn’t kind but he was considerate, not mean men would tolerate what he was doing because of her, yes he was busy maybe that contributed to it, but he still comes around, he takes her out on dates, and make sure to get her something when he is coming back from work, praised her works even though she knew they were far from being as good as he said they were, he was just, just not what she had thought he was, she greatly misjudged him and should apologize but she didn’t want to, he will tease her.
The only thing that hasn’t been going well recently is dealing with Natalie’s brands, she had so many brands that she worked with that it was hard for her to keep up, she honestly wished she could cancel them all, again dealing with Natalie’s friends, was super tough too, they were always calling to tell her about the latest happenings and latest trend, she has declined every one of their invites for the past three weeks giving different excuses as to why she couldn’t attend, at this rate they might not even call her again and she didn’t mind, she didn’t even know them and she was sure they didn’t really care for Natalie, they just want to brag, that’s all, maybe that’s what Natalie do too, it could be the reason she went ahead with the wedding preparations when she knew she wasn’t ready for marriage, maybe she didn’t want her friends shitting on her behind her back.
Surprisingly, her parents were concerned for her, when she spoke with her mom she had been so excited to tell her that Nicole called and was doing fine, she had wanted to ask her why she hadn’t been this nice when she was around but she didn’t.
Her phone rang, she picked it up and smiled . Rafael was calling.
“Wifey? What’s up?”
Another thing he has been doing for over two weeks now, he barely called her Natalie, just wifey, she liked it, it was better than hearing him call her a name that wasn’t hers and she couldn’t even correct him.
“I am good and you?”
“Good, we are going out,”
He announced.
“To where?”
He mentioned a really strange name that she couldn’t even remember a few seconds after he said it.
“Where is that?”
She asked, the name sounded super strange.
“Don’t worry, I will send the driver to come to get you, just get dressed,”
He said his voice echoing, the voice she has grown so used to now, even if Natalie returns now she knew she would miss being in Rafael’s presence even though they weren’t intimate.
“I told you to just do it,”
The tiny voice said again, bringing back earlier suggestions.
“Okay Rafael, see ya,”
She said ignoring the voice.
“Okay that’s enough work for one day, let’s go outing to a strange place,”
She said I’m a singsong voice as she strolled out of her studio…