“James, let go of me!” I struggle to push him away.
But James’s body is as strong as a wall. No matter how hard I push him, he is still immovable.
Once we were so happy, but now I just want to stay away from him.
James looks at me fiercely. He clasps my hands firmly and puts them on top of my head, and he forcefully penetrates between my legs. I couldn’t move.
“James, I hate you!” I shout feebly.
James lowers his head and begins to bite on my neck. The pain creeps on me, and I could only breathe quietly.
Then he raises his head, his eyes are a little gloomy, and he says, “It hurts? Does it hurt? There is something more painful than this.”
I close my eyes and don’t want to look any more. In my heart, James is not like this. I thought he would never harm me, but I am wrong.
I have long been accustomed to his breaths and his movements. It’s terrible when you get used to something. My body is used to him, and even ready to please him.
“Carolina, you are such a slut. What do you think of yourself?” James chuckles.
I keep silent, biting my mouth, shivering.
James begins to be violent, and I grasp the sheet tightly and endure the pain.
James, is that really who you are? Is it?
Finally, James is content and pulls himself out of my body, leaving me lying on the bed.
“Are you satisfied?” I ask.
At this time, I really don’t have any hope for James. There can only be hatred between me and him.
The death of my father and my mother, and the breakdown of our family, all these are the things that we can never get over.
James is breathing heavily.
The starry sky above us is so beautiful, but the vastness is like a black hole, and the darkness is really scary.
“Carolina, we…”
His hoarse voice shows that he is exhausted, and I immediately interrupt him before he finishes, “It’s impossible between us. James, you should have thought that there are some things I would never forgive.”
James is breathing hard and I close my eyes.
I feel cold, so cold that I can’t help shivering.
“Carolina, why are you so cruel?” James’ voice is soft, as if he is talking to himself.
“Because I have never loved you, and so are you.” I say.
I have drawn a conclusion to our love. It’s hasty, but I don’t want to have any relation with him anymore.
Let it be.
I get out of bed and find my clothes to put on, “James, I’m leaving.”
While I am wearing my clothes, I say, “When we meet in the future, we are enemies.”
“Carolina!” James stands in front of me suddenly; he looks at me horribly and says, “Do you know what you are talking about?”
Of course I know.
I don’t speak, and walk past him.
“Carolina, stop!” James roars.
I walk on as if I didn’t hear him.
“I can’t stop. I can’t stop.” I warn myself over and over again.
When James doesn’t catch up, I heave a sigh of relief, because I am afraid that I wouldn’t be able to hold on.
The wind in the early morning is so cold. I wrap myself in my clothes, and walk slowly step by step, as if the road would never end.
I don’t know how I manage to go back. It is daylight by the time I get home.
Elaine is sitting in the living room waiting for me.
When she sees me coming in, she looks at me immediately.
“How does it feel to be with your lover?” She still wears yesterday’s makeup, “Why can’t you break up with that man?”
I look at her and say, “From now on there will be nothing but hatred between him and me.”
I speak very slowly and gently, but with a kind of determination.
Elaine doesn’t say anything, and looks at me incredulously.
“I’m very tired.” I stand in front of her tiredly and say, “I have to rest first.”
I am exhausted physically and mentally, and my body seems to have been drained of energy.
I throw myself on the bed and sleep for a whole day and night.
When I wake up again, I already know what I am going to do.
I want to revenge on Isabel.
Someone knocks on the door, and then there comes my sister’s impatient voice, “What are you doing here?”
“I am here to take your sister home.”
It’s the last person I want to see.
I get up and go out.
Neil smiles and looks at me, “You haven’t been home for so long, so I come here to see you and pick you up by the way.”
“Don’t you understand?” I don’t look at him, “I’m going to sue for divorce today.”
There have been so many things happening these days, so until now did I remind of the things between me and Neil.
Neil chuckles and says, “Carolina, look at yourself right now. You have to support for your brother and sister. It’s over between you and your lover. If you don’t rely on me, who can you rely on?”
I am immediately irritated, “I can provide for them. Why should I rely on you! Who the hell you are! I’ll never set foot in your house again even I die!!”
“Don’t you want revenge?” Neil squints at me. “I can help you.”
His words make my sister and I look at each other. We did not expect him to say so.
He used to hang out with Isabel. Does he know some secrets about Isabel?
I don’t know if I should believe him.
“Neil, go away, do you think we will believe what you say again?” My sister slaps on him directly, “Go away! You are responsible for what our family has become.”
Neil is not annoyed, but he just covers his face and says, “Believe it or not, but you will believe it in the end.”
It is a joke that someone would believe his words.
I do what I am supposed to do when he’s gone.
To look for Isabel’s vulnerabilities.
She comes back secretly. The Orlando family didn’t allow her to return for years, and she only made one appearance at my father’s funeral
I used to think that dealing with Isabel would make James uncomfortable, but now there isn’t any love between James and me.
It’s so great.
So, I send a report of Isabel’s recent whereabouts to the Orlando family, and some news about what happened to the eldest master’s accident that year.
Mrs. Orlando would be interested in that.
Mrs. Orlando has found me before and want to unite me against Isabel, but at the time, I was still together with James. Now it’s different. It is the time to take action.
When I send out the reports, I feel uneasy, but I could only do this.
Unexpectedly, I get an appointment with the Orlando family right away.
It is surprisingly quick.
When several people in black stand in front of me, they say to me politely, “Miss Carolina, Mr. Orlando wants to meet you.”
Mr. Orlando is James’s father Noah Orlando.
To my surprise, I didn’t expect him to meet me.
Then I am taken to the Orlando family mansion.
With a hundred years of history, the mansion was built on the mountain, occupied half of the mountain area.
As I stare at everything in front of me, I feel more and more that James is far away from me.
Fortunately, we have broken up. I do not know why I have such a feeling in my heart. Maybe from the beginning, I feel inferior.
The Orlando family’s house is exactly the same as an ancient courtyard, with winding corridors and beautiful mountains and rivers.
I am like countryman who has entered the great mansion. Everything is new to me, and I feel more and more inferior.
Noah is over 60, but he still looks very young. He points to the seat next to him and says, “Sit down.”
But his eyes are sharp, staring at me, which gives me a sense of oppression.
I sit down nervously, not knowing why Noah is looking for me.
“Miss Carolina, I ask you to come here today just to ask you something.” Noah says and, slightly glances at me, “I’ve heard about my son’s romantic affairs,” he continues, “but I never expected it is someone like you.”
Oh, I get it.
I look up and say, “We have broken up.”
“Broke up?” Noah doesn’t believe it, and says with a smile, “Really?”
I nod, “Of course it is, and we will never get back together.”
“But I don’t believe it.” Noah says.
He stares at me as if he wants to see whether I am lying. At last he disparagingly says, “I have seen too many girls like you. You are too ambitious.”
Ambitious? I never thought about anything. How did he see my ambition?
“We have broken up! It’s real. Why don’t you believe it? I say I will never have anything to do with James anymore.” I say loudly, as if I am taking an oath.
We broke up. We really broke up.
Noah hands me an envelope, “This is the visa I applied for you. Go to America. I can subsidize your further studies and you have to stay abroad for a few years.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, frowning.
Noah has an imposing aura, which makes me feel oppressive and uncomfortable, and he looks into my eyes with scrutiny and deliberation.
“Miss Carolina, it is for your own good, and it will be for your benefit if you leave. After a while, you can come back when everything is settled.” Noah taps on his desk. “You can look inside the envelope.”
I look down, but don’t pick it up. I didn’t plan to go abroad.
My brother and sister are here. What’s more, why should I accept Noah’s advice? I really have nothing to do with James.
“Sorry, I won’t agree. I don’t want to go abroad; my family is still here.” I insist on my idea.
“Really?” Noah says nonchalantly, “I can take care of your family.”
Take care of my family? These words completely anger me.
“How do you want to take care of them? Are you going to use my family to threaten me?””
All my nerves are on edge.