I was talking to myself alone in my bed at night. tossing and turning and wishing for the good old days.
He respected my body and never asked me to get into bed with him, he probably wouldn’t have said no if I offered but I chosed to let him finalised with the divorce first.
I and Julie believes in modesty before marriage. I’m happy she had an understandable man who cherished and respected her wishes.
That was the main reason I resigned from the Cole’s leaving my paycheck behind. I can’t sell my pride for money or pleasure.
Mr Desmond was a noble man unlike Nick who almost tore my clothes just to have his way. I’m glad he never succeeded.
I tossed and turned until sleep came knocking.
The following day makes it complete three weeks that Mr Desmond ended things with me.
Erin was sending me messages and threatening me initially.
She doesn’t know that Mr Desmond is already aware of me and Nick.
I ignored her, with time I guess she got the message and left me alone.
After preparing breakfast for Dad before he leaves for his shop he said to me.
“You can’t continue to live like this. Why not go over and see if he’s ready to talk. Make it right if you truly feels something for him. I have watched you struggle for days is high time to make him listen to what you got to say. Clear your good name in his bad book, even if he still doesn’t want to have anything to do with you is better you maintain a good name rather than a bad reputation.
That was the push I needed and after my Dad said it, I quickly got dressed.
I picked one of my favorite dress that he loves and went over to see him.
I called an Uber driver and went over.
The car he bought for me was just parked in my compound with no one driving it.
I can drive a little but I haven’t entered the car ever since the break.
Maybe I will just take the car key along with the pretense that I came to return back the car maybe I will make him listen to me.
When I finally got there I was surprised with the way the security allowed me in.
I was told that he was in his lounge.
I went over, he opened up and let me in.
I wondered where Erin is, probably they finally reconcile and continued as husband and wife.
I won’t be surprised if she comes out from Mr Desmond’s room and start laughing at my face and telling me how much of a failure that I am.
We sat opposite each other, he toned down the volume of the soccer game showing on the screen.
He was looking at me and I can’t really tell if he’s happy or angry.
“I returned back the car key… I don’t know how to drive it all the way down I could have…. I… i
I sound like a broken record, I wanted to ask how he was doing and several other questions but Instead i continued talking like a confused person.
“Maybe I don’t really deserves it… the truth is I don’t really know why I’m here. I just can’t get you off my head but I know time heals all wound…
He looked up at me without a word then take his eyes back to soccer game.
I sat not knowing what to do or say again.
I became so pissed and stood up to leave, I started moving to the door, thinking he will call me back but he did not.
I opened the door still hoping he will but when he didn’t make any move to call me back
my angers erupted, tears blinded me that i couldn’t find my step again.
I ran right back to where he sat and said.
“I used to think I messed up big time. I thought you were right and I’m wrong. I just realized that opposite is the case here. Your pride has blinded you and makes you not to be able to know right from wrong. this will be the third time I will be visiting and it will also be my last. I’m done asking for your forgiveness, I’m done trying to prove to you that I’m different… I’m done trying to prove anything to you Desmond. I wanted to still give it another try to see if luck will be on my side but everything is ending today. I will no longer explain myself either to you or anybody because it doesn’t worth it. I love you and heaven knows that I do. All I want was only your happiness. I thought you were still into Erin with the way you keep mentioning her, I decided to focus on Nick hoping you and Erin will get back together but along the line I realized that Erin may still hurt you again if cares are not taking, I was already into Nick and did not know how to tell you. I did nothing with Nick except maybe few kissing. I’m sorry… I deeply regret my actions but is okay if you choose to remain harden. I just want you to know for the last time because this will definitely be the last time I will be crying over this in your presence. You don’t owe me anything neither do I. I only acted as it was placed in my heart and took the huge risk just to see you back on your feet. The opportunities that I missed… like my modeling dream which means everything to me, going on a date with Silas just because I wanted to find out the kind of drugs he was using on you and many other things does not count… my happiness is that you are alright again. If you choose not to forgive me or trust me ever again… is totally fine by me but don’t compare me with Erin… I’m different in a good way. I don’t even know if I’m making Sense… just take the part you wish to pick and leave the nonsense out. I… I… well.. I knew you were going to go back to Erin and I wasn’t mistaken… it was my fear and it finally came true. is totally your choice and whatever comes after is none of my business. I just wished you all the happiness that you deserved…