It’s very close to the villa in James, but I walk slowly. I used to cheer every time I come here because it means I can see James, but this time, every step seems to walk on the tip of the knife.
There is no way, I really have no way, I do not hold back my tears.
I finally get here.
In front of me is the gate.
James is not surprised at my appearance and goes downstairs to open the door for me personally.
There is even a smile on his lips, “Is that so fast?”
The fence door opens, and I walk in.
I look at the man I love, but you no longer belong to me.
Evening glow covers the entire courtyard, as if paving a golden road, I narrow my eyes and feel that everything is so dazzling.
“What are you standing there stupidly?” James pulls my hand and forces me to fall into his arms, “Come in.”
He says.
The tenderness at the bottom of the eyebrows seems to melt everything.
He has been waiting for my news today, and I can see how impatient he is at this time.
He wants to be with me, just like me.
I lean on his shoulder to breathe deeply, sniffing his smell greedily, with a hint of tobacco and grassy smell, making me addicted to him, making me nostalgic, and making me remember the past again and again.
This is my lover.
“Go, let’s go in and chat.” James smiles and grabs my shoulder, “We will have time later.”
His tone of longing makes me almost cry.
I look at clouds in the distance and look at the shadow formed by our mutual snuggle. None of this will be related to me anymore.
It is time for me to close my eyes and wait for them to open again. There is no emotion in my eyes.
I push away James and say, “I won’t go in, just say it here.”
He looks at me a little puzzled, “What’s wrong? Do things go smoothly? You didn’t get the divorce certificate agreement?”
From his frowning brows, I could see his tension at this moment.
There seems to be something blocked in my heart that makes me breathless, so don’t go over and don’t look at him and say, “No.”
“No?” James’s voice is anxious, “What’s the matter?”
“Carolina, tell me!” He is urging me.
I’m about to collapse, I endure it. I can’t show any flaws.
I turn my head and look at him with a smile, “Nothing, I just don’t want to play anymore.”
James tightens his face and raises his brows. He says, “Play? What?”
“Play with you.” I sneer and meet his eyes.
You see I am really a bad woman, I am telling lies, but I really have no choice! I can’t ignore the life and death of my sister! I am sorry.
I say sorry over and over again in my heart.
“Actually, I just want to play with you, don’t you know? Actually, we met in the bar, and after that, I went to the bar to find other men. But I don’t expect you to be the only one that is obsessed with me, because of this I planned to play with you for a while. However, I don’t expect that so many things happened, so I regretted, and I don’t want to play with you anymore.” I say to him, in a regretful, ruthless tone.
James stands motionless on the spot, his eyes are incredible, he smiles and whispers, “You are lying.”
“Lying? I have lied all the time, but today what I say is true, I have been lying to you all the time, don’t you know?” I look at him mockingly, “The famous James, playing with so many women, should fall in love with me! But for me, I just want to play!”
I look at James’s increasingly fierce face, and my heart suddenly seems to be inserted with a knife.
“I don’t believe it!” James grits his teeth. He is angry, he is unwilling, and he doesn’t want to believe it, “I don’t believe it!”
“Because of you, I almost destroyed my family. Fortunately, this is revenge for playing with my feelings! I really don’t want to play with you anymore.” I pretend to look at this man in my bones with a disgusted expression.
His face finally shows what I don’t want to see. He frowns painfully and looks at me in disbelief, “Carolina, do you know what you are talking about?”
At this moment my heart really hurts, it seems that I will suffocate soon.
The warm yellow light reflected on his face makes him seem so sad, overflowing from his eyes. His eyes turn red, he asks me again and again, “Carolina is lying, lying!”
“I did!” I try to hate him, “I’m a dissolute woman. I play with you because you are rich, but I don’t expect your family to be untouchable. I regret it now! I don’t want to go on! ”
“I still have many, many men, many! Do you know? I will accompany you today, and go with others tomorrow! I still have a husband at home. Do you know why I married him? My family needs a lot of money, and he is rich. I deliberately seduced him! I begged him to marry me and let him pay the debt to my family!”
My hysterical voice is in the entire yard. I am very excited and make a final relief.
“James, you can believe me now, otherwise why I walk directly to you at the bar, it is still because I already know who you are. You are James! The heir of the European-style family and you can inherit a lot of money. Don’t forget that I am a reporter. I know everything about you.” I look at him proudly and sarcastically.
James’s gloomy eyes seem to kill me. He looks at me with hatred, “Carolina, is it true?”
He is still looking for me to confirm.
My eyes slowly move down from his eyes. I say, “Yes, because I don’t want to play with you anymore, I don’t love you. I just think you like me so much. But I don’t want to play with you anymore. It has involved my family. This is the most intolerable for me.”
“I will pay for your father’s money tomorrow!” James grabs my hand and looks at me pleadingly, “You are angry with me because of your father. I know it is my fault, but I want to be with you too much! Please give me a chance, I will definitely bring your father back from prison tomorrow, okay? ”
With a cold face, I break free from his hand and say, “I don’t need you anymore. Neil has already paid it for me. I can’t use you anymore.”
“Look, you have nothing to do with me. At least Neil will do it for me without complaint, even if there are other men around me, but he loves me so much, as long as I am by his side, there would be no other demands on me at all.”
James’s expression is lonely, “Do I never know you? Carolina, you are a devil.”
He chuckles happily, with a miserable smile, “I don’t expect that I will lose to you!”
His suddenly wide-eyed eyes are all hatred, “Do you think you really will leave me if you don’t want to leave me? I won’t make you feel better if you provoke me! You want your father to come out? Don’t think too much!”
“Shall we stop here, is it not good? In the future, I won’t see you anymore, and you don’t want to see me again. Let’s just do it. You have lived your life, and I live mine. Isn’t this good?” I say to him stupidly.
Everything around is so quiet, I hear the sound of insects frogs, like a long and melodious sound coming from a distance. Let me gradually have some illusions, James and I still seem to still love each other, we can still be together.
“How is it possible? The only person I love is lying to me, even if I still don’t want to let go. Carolina, do you know that I have fantasized about being with you countless times?” Suddenly his eyes are full of affection, fascinating me.
“But you, you ruined it all, ruined my illusions, and tell me I’m a fool!” He bursts into a rage and punches the iron gate.
“Bang” with a loud noise, my body shakes in fear.
Looking at his hands again, the joints are already bleeding.
Strongly holding back his emotions, he immediately suppresses his emotions. I look at his bleeding wound and say, “Hurry up and deal with the wound. I have already said what I am going to say today. We are over! We will stop contacting you in the future. I I won’t see you again.”
I finish cruelly and turn around, breathing deeply, fearing that tears would roll down.
“Carolina, are you really so cruel?”
Suddenly James hugs me from behind, his tone is so wronged, so gentle, he gently says, “I love you, don’t you know? I allow you to do something rediculous, but don’t leave me, okay?” ”
“Don’t you love me?”
His voice is so soft, with uncertain temptation, he speaks carefully.
Suddenly, my tears come out.