why? What happened?
I shouted in collapse, but no one answers me.
“Stop! Stop! I beg you, I can’t lose my child! I beg you!” I cry helplessly, the light above my head makes me a little dizzy, thinking that all this is untrue.
But the huge colic from my lower abdomen tells me that I really lost my child.
“What’s it called, your child is gone! Be honest.”
I am silent, crying silently biting my teeth.
Suddenly, I seem to have lost everything.
I remembered seeing Neil’s face when I faint. He is smiling, grinning, and happy.
It’s him! It must be him! He takes me into the hospital and into the abortion room.
The dense pain is surging like a tide, and I seem to have an illusion of pain, and the imagination could finally come to an end.
The child is killed, Neil would divorce me, and then my father is saved. But I have lost my child forever. I once greeted his arrival with joy.
“Sorry, Mom couldn’t protect you.”
I am helped out of the operating room.
There is no one around, only me.
I can’t stand the pain, despair, sadness, and other emotions haven’t time to come, my heart is filled with hatred at once, Neil, wait! I must revenge this!
It must be him! Definitely is!
I shiver to take my things, take out my phone, and want to call Neil.
Panic footsteps suddenly appeared in the corridor, and I look up.
James walks slowly towards me, asking me in an uncertain tone.
There is hope in his eyes, but when he sees my pale face and bloodless lips, the hope in his eyes suddenly vanishes.
“Child? Where’s the child?” James looks at me carefully.
“Oh, James, wait for me!”
Behind is the mumbling voice of my mother.
I stop while holding my phone.
James looks at me stubbornly, staring straight at me.
I don’t know how to answer.
“It’s gone?” Mom says panting.
I see James’s eyes quickly stained with anger.
There is no one around, there is no one, “It’s gone” I whisper.
It’s my fault. It ‘s because I don’t protect my child.
James is tight all over, and I see the blue muscles on his forehead.
He opens his mouth and closes it, and finally says, “Why don’t you tell me about your pregnancy? Why!”
Tears twirled in his eyes, and he just holds back the tears.
“Oh, why did you do the abortion? I go to James and say, he was so happy to know about pregnancy. It seems that we are still a late step. Don’t you say you don’t want to do the abortion? “Mom walks over and helps me shake my body.
“I, I don’t know, I don’t know,” I say weakly.
James sneers, “You don’t know? How come you don’t know.” He looks at me in disgust, “Isn’t it because you do the abortion so Neil will divorce you? Only then can you save your father! This child! What is it in your eyes? You tell me why you don’t tell me, because you don’t want to tell me from the beginning, right! Because you want him to be Neil ‘s child!”
His angry voice echoes in the empty corridor, and I freeze at once.
“No! Not the way you think!” I cry anxiously.
My mother helps me and says, “What did you do? I ask you to do the abortion, and you did it?”
James looks at me with disappointment, his eyes are bloody red, and finally, he chokes, “You know how happy I am when I know you are pregnant? I’ve been expecting you to have a child! But you have never planned to let him recognize me as his dad, right? He finally becomes your bargaining chip! Carolina, how could you do this? How could this be?”
I step forward in panic, trying to hold his hand, but I don’t dare, and I vigorously argue with him, “I don’t know, I really don’t know what’s going on. I never think of this.”
“Enough!” James interrupts me angrily, “You’ve been lying to me from the beginning. I forgive you again and again, but your, you put a knife in my heart!”
His eyes are bleak, and his previous hope has been extinguished, which makes me feel bad.
I know that no matter what I say, James will not listen to my explanation. I look around helplessly.
No one believes me.
“Actually, I never think of forcing you, how can I be willing? Even if you don’t divorce Neil within the specified time, I would make up for the money your father misappropriated. I just think, even if you don’t think of me, for the sake of my father, you will have to be completely separated from Neil, Carolina, you let me down.”
A tear finally comes out of the corner of his eyes, he holds back, but his trembling lips let me know how sad he is at this time.
“You never think about being with me.” James gives me a cold look and turns away.
I freeze in place, watching his back as he goes away, and for the first time, I know what is painful.
It seems that I lose him in the end.
“I really have imagined how to marry you countless times, really.” I shed tears silently, watching James finally disappear.
It is my mother who helps me back home.
She says nothing along the way.
When I get home, I realize that something is wrong, why did James appear just right?
“Mom, how do you know my hospital? What did you say to James?” I ask.
My mother says regretfully, “It’s not Neil who called me and said you’re going to do the abortion. Let me go to the hospital to take care of you. But at that time, I happened to meet James and tell you that you are pregnant.”
“And then.” I frown and clench my fists. It’s really Neil.
My mother doesn’t dare to look at me, “James is very happy to hear that you are pregnant. I am anxious as soon as I heard you want to kill the child. We hurried to the hospital, and I tell James everything along the way. Say that you can save your dad only if you do the abortion! ”
It turns out that Neil has planned well, and it also causes James to completely misunderstand me.
I laugh, it is a good show.
But James won’t forgive me anymore, he completely is disappointed at me.
I say, “Mom, do you know? I don’t know why I appeared in the operating room. I fainted before, and I was there when I woke up. The last person I saw before fainting is Neil.”
“What ?!” Mom explodes, “Are you saying that all of this is designed by Neil? He is such a bitch!”
“He has always been a bitch. You only know it now.” I smile fearlessly.
“What should I do? James misunderstands, wouldn’t he save your dad? Then what about your dad?” Mom is very annoyed.
“You never think what should I do?” This sentence carried my long-suppressed resentment.
Mom looks at me apologetically and wants to say something, but finally open her mouth with a light apology, “Sorry. I’m sorry for you.”
This is the most useless apology in the world. Substantial harm can’t be recovered. A apology seems to be forgivable.
I don’t blame my mother, I just feel helpless.
I remember the child I just lost. My heart is filled with hatred, and the thing I care about most is gone.
The door sounds loud.
Mom wipes her tears, “I don’t know who it is, so I will open the door.”
“Don’t you dare to come to our house?” Mom’s anger shouts from the living room.
“Mom, you eliminate the fire. You are really blaming me.” Neil says with a hippy smile.
It is from Neil!
I lift the quilt angrily and rush out.
“Neil, I fight with you today!” The anger is blocked on my chest. At this time, I couldn’t care about anything, just thinking about revenge.
But the man at the door freezes me.
A person who will not appear here.
“How are you?” She smiles and takes off her sunglasses, “Miss Carolina, we haven’t seen for a long time.”
“Who are you, why do you come to our house?” Mom blocks me.
She smiles. She is still so graceful and luxurious, “Don’t be impulsive. I know Ms. Carolina before. We just come to have a gathering.”
It’s Isabel.
She looks at me with a smile, and I could see her pity in her eyes, “Gee, I haven’t seen you so haggard before?”
“What are you doing here?” I say.
“Of course I come to see you.” Isabel smiles softly, “I come to see if you are obedient. But you are so miserable, so you must have not listened to me.”
My mother looks at me puzzled and asks, “Who is this person, do you know her?”
I say, “It’s James’s biological mother.”
“What?” Mom is stunned, and begins to become cautious, “I’m sorry, I don’t know that you are James’s mother.”
Mother takes Isabel’s hand and says politely and enthusiastically, “Sit.”
“Sister.” Isabel pushes the mother’s hand without any trace, smiling ironically, “Don’t be so polite with me.”
“How can you be polite? You also know about James and Carolina.” Mom says flatly.
I couldn’t stand it anymore, and pull my mother over, “Mom, do you think she is here to bless us?”
“Then she…” Mom’s eyes move back and forth between us, she wonders, “Didn’t she come to see you?”
“Yes! She comes to see how funny I am!” I meet Isabel’s mocking eyes.
“Don’t say that I’m here to see what is called suffering from your own actions, that’s the consequences of disobedience!” Her eyes glow fiercely and eerily.