“If you want your family to live well and your sister is fine, you are obedient and you should understand what you should do.”
This is the last sentence Isabel leaves for me.
I don’t answer her at the time, I am alone on the plane.
The moment I push the baggage and open the door, my mother is stunned, and then rushes at me crazily.
“Where have you been? Do you know that we are worried about you! You went to such a dangerous place without saying a word. If some accidents happen to you, what should I do?”
My mother hits me hard, but I couldn’t feel the pain.
I don’t know until now that they are also worried about me. Although I have betrayed the glory of my family, I am still their beloved child.
I hug my mother and say in pain, “Mom, I’m wrong! I’m really wrong.”
It is rare that Dad is at home, but his face is sad.
When I return home, I realize that the family has changed dramatically.
My father has been suspended, and the shop that my mother opens has been on the verge of collapse due to poor management. The house is mortgaged in the bank, and if we can’t get a loan, we will be homeless.
How do so many things happen in just a short time?
“What’s wrong with this?” I ask differently.
Is Dad’s matter because of Neil?
My mother sighs and says, “It’s not because you suddenly ran away. Neil couldn’t find you. He asked for you from us. We don’t know where you have been from the beginning. Neil gives us an ultimatum. If you don’t come home, he will not expose your dad’s affairs.”
It’s Neil who is playing tricks, I’m sure, but I have a hunch that it’s not just Neil. James’s family, or Isabel?
Isabel wouldn’t do it because she looks down on me and wants to do what she wants to do. This kind of thing is more like being done by Jame’s family for warning me.
No matter who it is, I am back now and I am waiting for their summons.
I go to the magazine and make a simple report. The magazine specifically allows me to take a break.
Okay, now I can concentrate on my family affairs.
James, I don’t know what you think of me. Are you blaming me for not saying goodbye? I have my bitterness.
Please forgive me.
The guilt in my heart makes me sleepy and sleepless. I don’t know what happens to him now, and I don’t know if he would return.
“You’re back now, and everything will be fine. You go to your home now, be with Neil.” Mom suggests cautiously.
I say nothing, “I want to divorce him, I must divorce him!”
“Divorce?” Mom starts scolding me, “Look at your dad, but he is relying on you! This family has to rely on you and Neil! ”
I get up helplessly and don’t want to discuss this matter with my mother again, “I will surely find out what happens to my father. It is my father’s fault. I have been carrying it for him for so many years. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“You’re so cruel to us! You ruthless girl!”
My mother is crying and scolding me. This kind of life is really tough for me.
If they don’t tell me the truth, I will check it myself.
It was three years ago when my father has an accident. By then Neil makes a request to marry me. And how can we have the money to buy the store? Neil said at that time that the store was the gift for my marriage.
Why did he say that?
Where did the money come from? Borrowed from Neil or what?
Doesn’t dad work in Neil’s company, in the finance department?
Embezzlement or corruption? I haven’t think about it before. Is this the so-called secret they hide from me? Has it become the reason why Neil has always threatened me?
If this is the case, is it possible to get rid of Neil as long as I pay back the money?
But now when the family needs money the most, the shop is gone, and the home loan must be repaid, otherwise, the house will be taken away by the bank.
We simply can’t give that money!
What to do? I fall into despair all of a sudden. If these things are not handled well, I would not be qualified to talk about love. I will be controlled by Neil forever.
James, you must wait for me, please.
I feel like I can’t breathe soon. I want to call James on my mobile phone, but I dare not.
No matter what dad did before, it seems to me I have to pay for it, but emotionally I can’t do it, I can’t.
I check all this and turn around and run home.
“Daddy’s so-called secret is that he has embezzled public funds before?” I keep the evidence in my hand in front of them.
Mom and Dad explain with a daze on their faces, “You, how do you know?”
“I am a reporter. I can find this out.” I say.
My mother is a little panicked, “I know that your dad did something wrong, but he did it for the family. Carolina, I know you can’t accept it for a while, but you think about us, this family can’t be without your father.”
Dad says nothing.
I know that my dad must be under a lot of pressure on this matter. My mother loves to gamble. Before that, she has been gambling for many years. It is the year when I got married and she suddenly quits gambling and opens a shop.
“Does father misappropriate public funds because of you? It is not because you have to buy a store, but because you lost too much and our family couldn’t pay the debt, so dad takes the risk to commit a crime, right?” I am so angry that because of her selfish desire that I lost my life!
“But things have happened. Can’t you stand it? Neil is good for you.” Mom wipes her tears, dad bows his head to smoke.
Why can people be so selfish? I have lost my happiness, why should I bear it anymore?
“Why should I endure? It’s because of you that my life is so miserable. Do you think Neil is good? You can’t see it when he hits me!” The grievances come to my mind all at once. No one could understand my loneliness.
A few cigarette butts have been thrown in the ashtray. Dad crushes the cigarette butts in his ashtray. He looks up and says helplessly, “So what do you want me to do? You report me now, and I go to jail. Do you think so? ”
“Dad! You know I won’t do this!”
Report my own father, I really can’t do this kind of thing, but why should I bear all this?
“Carolina, you can make up with Neil for a few more years. When our family has put together the money, we can get back to that time. You can do whatever you want, and you can be with whoever you want, right?” Mom suddenly takes my hand and looks at me earnestly.
I don’t speak and look at my mother resentfully.
“No, no, I remember that your lover is called James. His family is rich, let him give you the money, and then you can be together.” Mom seems to have found a solution.
“Mom, don’t even think about it!” I shake my mother’s hand. I am already so humble in front of James. If I let James pay for me, what would I become? My self-esteem is gone, love is tarnished, and everything becomes worthless.
I don’t want the person I care most to know that I am such a mean woman.
Mom’s bitter eyes are a little bit unbearable, but she still complains to me, “You are stupid. Then what do you want to do!”
I know everyone could make a mistake but they also have the courage to bear his consequences.
“You never think to solve this problem by yourself, but chose to sacrifice me, I am your daughter, you raise me up, I will repay, but please don’t use this method, OK?”
I can’t do anything at home. I can only sacrifice myself. From the beginning, they don’t think there is anything wrong with this thing.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I am sorry for you, but I can’t help it either. You can’t let your mother be killed by the debtor, nor let your father go to jail?”
Even if I know my father has made a mistake, I still have no choice but to more despair.
This home has brought me endless darkness.
The three of us are relatively speechless and can only cry in silence.
The phone rings and breaks the silence. It is a strange number. I am puzzled.
“Hello, is it Miss Carolina.” The other party is very polite, but I hear her pride from her politeness, “I think we need to talk.”
I frown alertly, “Who is that?”
“Don’t be nervous, I’m James’s mother, I just want to talk to you, how about it?” This person is not Isabel. It is Mrs. Jessie, James’s adoptive mother.
Why does she want to see me?