An alarm sounds overhead.
I have never experienced this, and for a while, I don’t know what to do, and Anyi hurriedly yells at me, “This is an airstrike alert!”
As soon as his words fall, the bomb drops not far away, and a loud boom rings.
The smoke is rising in front of me, and the fire is shining, and immediately I feel a wave of air hitting me.
I shiver to open the camera and press the shutter.
“Transfer here right away! Hurry up!” The temporary rest station comes, carrying a machine gun, and anxiously shouts, “Go! Go! Go!”
I board the car with several other media friends.
The smell of gunpowder, the deafening gunshot, the bloody smell that is difficult to hide, and the unknowable danger make all of us nervous.
This is just the first day I come here.
I am holding a camera and watching this world differently than I used to. I want to record the truth here.
We are then placed in a hotel right at the border of the bombing zone and sign a secret protection agreement.
The first night, I listen to successive bombardment and fall asleep.
Maybe when people cannot guarantee even the most basic life safety, the rest of the emotions will gradually fade away, and I have no time to think about James. But my thoughts are pervasive. Whenever I calm down and listen to the bombardment, James blows into my mind by surprise.
He has always been with me.
I gradually get used to this kind of day, is awakened by the bombing in the morning, and go to photograph the streets and schools after the war. Seeing the survivor crying as she hugs her deceased family, I am sad and weep silently. Their eyes are desperate and full of hatred.
The more I contacted refugees, the deeper I feel sad. For the first time, I really want to reprimand this unfair world. I go to see their funerals and weddings, watch them cry and smile on the ruins, and finally make myself calm down.
I think I know how to face James, and finally understand the value of life, I want to go back alive, really live again.
The written manuscript may be squeezed for several days, and the signal may be interrupted all the time. I remember that one morning after the heavy rain, the reporter in charge of the media, Julia, finds me.
“Hi! Carol! I’m looking for you!” She excitedly gives me the radio.
I am very confused.
Julia frowns and says, “He is James! Your lover!”
“Carolina, are you listening?” His voice comes out of the intercom, I am shocked.
His voice penetrates through the mountains and rivers and comes slowly from each other’s undulating gunshots. This is the voice I have always dreamed of.
“Are you? James! I am Carolina! I am here! You speak!” I yell excitedly.
A bomb explodes not far away with a loud noise.
His voice is anxious, “What’s wrong with you? Okay!”
“I miss you, James! I miss you so much!” I am afraid I am too late, and I am talking about my miss.
“I’m going to–” Before he finishes speaking, he stops.
But I cannot let go of the walkie-talkie.
My missing rushes out from the bottom of my heart and crushes the long-suppressed emotions, my tears burst.
“It’s romantic.” Julia is a little envious, “Carol, your lover is coming right away. He’s 100 kilometers away at this moment.”
What? Does James come to me?
This news has revived my long silent heart. No, it should be said that my depressing thoughts can no longer be hidden.
James, why do you always give me unexpected surprises?
The previous proposal is the same, and so is the danger of life to come to me, and every time he stands behind me, he guards me silently.
Julia pats my shoulder and says, “Hurry up to dress. Your prince is coming soon!”
I smile like a fool with tears.
Everyone who sees me says that I’m different. How can I become so happy that I am no longer as dead heart as before?
“Someone is coming for me,” I say with some bragging, wearing my only skirt and smiling brightly.
The other party congratulates me, “Happy girl!”
Andy whispers twice, “You also love to laugh.”
Is it? I don’t even notice that I might have a smile on my face now.
I couldn’t do anything all afternoon, waiting for him at the hotel entrance. This is the only safe place.
Recently, it’s getting more and more unsafe here. Sometimes the bombing will last for a day. The terrorist organizations are haunted. Several suicide attacks, hostage-taking, and other things happen, making my heart more and more disturbed.
I wait and feel uneasy. The joy I had just disappeared, and in return, I am anxious and deeply worried.
Julia runs over with anxiety, “It looks like your prince will not be here today. The fighting in front is fierce, and the interim battle has been close.”
I don’t say anything, a nod to Julia, and say that I know, but I still stand at the door and wait quietly.
Anxiety is growing, I can only choose an extreme form to kill the anxiety in my heart.
I don’t eat or sleep, I always stand there, I have a hunch, James must come to my side like my hero.
James, you will definitely be fine. I still have a lot to say to you.
Please be safe.
I start to pray. After coming here, I learn to pray. People always choose to believe in divine power when facing powerless things. This time I am extremely religious, meditating over James’s name over and over again.
“Carol, go in and rest. Your lover will be fine, but you also need to pay attention to your safety.” Julia could not help but persuade me when she sees that I am still standing there in the middle of the night.
She won’t understand my mood at this time. All the obstacles before us are conquered. But this time, I do not flinch, so I want to tell James the first time.
It’s war here. This is not where James should come, but he is willing to take risks for me.
The bombardment still sounds in the ears, without any reduction.
The headlights of the vehicle in a front flash and my eyes widen in surprise.
Isn’t James here? I seem to be able to feel his presence! I push the door and run out of breath.
I run towards the place where the lights flash. The stones under my feet trip me, and I immediately get up and run forward.
Where there is light, there will be James!
The car stops in front of me, and I stop breathlessly.
The car opens the door, and the moment he walks down, I hold back my tears and give him the most beautiful smile.
He stands in front of me, the joy on his face could crush all fatigue.
He opens his arms at me.
“Carolina, come here, I have no strength to walk over,” James say.
I run hard and bump into his arms.
He picks me up, just like in a perfect love story.
The vehicles behind us honk, screaming, and whistling.
“I miss you so much.” James holds me closely, “I miss you. I miss so crazily, so I come.”
I am moved, bury my head in his arms, and weep silently, “Why are you so stupid?”
He is the only heir of the European-style group. He originally lives a good life, but he is dragged down by me.
“Because I love you.” James holds my face, look at my eyes.
“I love you too, I want to be with you all the time!”
I shout loudly. I don’t just want him to hear it, I also want the world to hear it. In order to testify, if I violate it, I must die.
We haven’t seen each other for a long time, embracing each other in the small hotel, listening to the gunfire outside, and whispering in the pillow.
“You are so ruthless. You just walk away. You don’t know how I live without you. I found you over and over again. I went to your house. No one knows where you are. I had to go to work for you. I aw your boss and found your flight number, so I know you are in such a dangerous place.”
James says indifferently, pressing my head firmly on his chest, I listen to his throbbing violent heartbeat to know how excited he is at this moment.
“How can I let you come to such a dangerous place alone. You want to run away from me or your family, no matter what it is, I don’t want to let you go. I want to hold you tight. Carolina, I have fallen in love with you in this life. Who tells you to seduce me in the bar, I fall in love with you at first sight. There is no reason to like you.”
James couldn’t open his eyes because he is so tired, but he still keeps talking, as if he is sure that he has really come to me.
“I will never leave you again, James, you go to sleep. I will still be by your side when you wake up.”
I hug him tightly in his arms and gently pats his back, I think I can comfort him.
“No!”
James suddenly opens his eyes wide, “I want you to be here.”
“Okay, here I come.” I stroke his face.
James, you are really stupid.
I take the initiative to kiss him and tear off his clothes, every inch of his muscles is tight, and in his eyes, there is always me.
He belongs to me now, as if I belong to him completely.