My consciousness is not clear, maybe I have hallucinations, I actually see James.
He seems to be walking towards me, like a hero falling from the sky.
“Carolina! Are you all right, I’m here! Look at me.”
The body seems suddenly relaxed all of a sudden, and I open my eyes in amazement.
It isn’t a dream, it is James!
He is holding me now and looks at me anxiously.
The vitality is re-injected into my body, and I feel a touch of warmth. He is holding me, warming me with his body temperature, and I know the tears on James’s face only when I know I am living again.
James is it really you? Am I dreaming?” I stretch out my hand and want him to hug me.
James quickly takes over me and hugs me.
“Carolina, you liar!” He tries to hide the tears that he is about to shed, and looks at me with distress and resentment.
I touch his face, “Sorry, sorry.”
“Fuck! You are the bitch’s lover, right! You dare to come to our house, you fucking jerk!” Neil is pressed by two people, but he is still scolding there.
“You dare to ask this man home, Carolina, you are a born bitch!”
James’s eyes are instantly darkened.
“I think you don’t want to live anymore!” James looks back at him coldly, and then puts me on the sofa, “Let me handle things for you.”
At this time I am still groggy, but I focused all my eyes on him.
But embarrassment, self-blame, and other emotions gradually recover in my heart.
James must know that Neil and I are husband and wife.
I watch James turns around and walks towards Neil, who is scolding him.
“Mr. James, you are also a well-known person here. How do you like the things that belong to others? I don’t know how many men she has seduced! You are not the first or the second, but she must be my wife, you can’t get it!”
Neil is talking nonsense in, and I am distressed.
“No. I didn’t” I justify with a hoarse voice.
James lifts his leg and kicks Neil’s mouth.
“Oh…” comes a scream.
James doesn’t stop. Instead, he kicks hard non-stop, blood drips from Neil’s mouth mixed with the missing teeth.
“Oh… Don’t… Mr. James-” Neil’s frightened voice mixes with begging.
“James, stop.” I’m afraid of death.
James stops and looks at me in disbelief, “You beg me for him?”
“No matter what, she is also my wife! My wife! You see she loves me.” Neil’s mouth is bloody, but he still smiles proudly and demonstrates to James in general.
“If you kill him, it’s not good for you.” I quickly explain.
I’m afraid James misunderstands me. Even if Neil is dead, I won’t take a closer look, but I’m afraid that James gets into these messy things. He is not the same person as us.
“Actually you love me, because you know that I am the backbone of your family, how much you loved me, otherwise how could you marry me as soon as you reach the legal age!” Looks make me evil.
“Neil, if you die one day, I will celebrate with firecrackers.” I glare at him fiercely.
James’s complexion improves.
“But, even if I die, you are also my widow, you know? You are my wife! You and this young Mr. James have adultery!
“I will let you divorce, just wait.” James looks at him coldly, “Do you think this is difficult for me? Including your entire family, I will make you disappear.” James’s face is ugly, and his eyes are cold, making people feel creepy.
Neil smiles and says indifferently, “Then you ask Carolina, will she divorce me? Will her family let her divorce me? You ask her again, why did she marry me? You ask her! She married me because she loves me, but she doesn’t love me anymore. Carolina is a bitch!
“I don’t! I don’t love him! Never!” I just anxiously explain.
“Do you think anyone will believe what you say? Your family is just begging me. You can’t wait to marry me. Your family is disgusting!” Neil is like a lunatic.
I look at James helplessly, “No, I am not.”
“I don’t care about the previous things, as long as you divorce him now.” James exhales slowly, “You divorce him, then stay with me.”
His eyes are deep and melodious, begging me fiercely.
But I can’t.
The reason I really married Neil is also the reason we couldn’t divorce.
Neil has something in his hand that can destroy my father, but I don’t know what it is. I could only marry him.
“Can you divorce me? How dare you!” Neil shouts arrogantly.
I don’t dare to see James’s disappointed eyes, I could only lower my head, “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.”
I can’t divorce him.
“Oh.” James sneers, the expression on his face is sad that I have never seen before, and he couldn’t even believe it, “Do you really want to be with me? As long as you divorce, I will marry you, ”
I clench myself so hard that I don’t let the sentence that has reached my mouth come out.
“James, I’m sorry, I really can’t divorce him, I’m sorry.” My arm is bleeding from my own scratching, but it couldn’t be more painful in my heart.
In the three years, I’ve been married to Neil, I am thinking about the moment of divorcing him, but I know what it means to my family. I can’t live for myself. I also have family, parents, siblings.
I haven’t been myself for a long time, and everything is beyond my control.
“Did you hear me, Mr. James! You look at how false this woman is.” But I have no ability to justify it.
Because no one will believe me.
“Carolina, I won’t believe whatever he says, and I also believe that you don’t really like your husband. I’m waiting for your answer.” James raises his neck and says proudly.
“Carolina, I only believe in you.” James’s eyes stay on me for a long time.
His eyes break my heart. He is miserable, but he still keeps his pride and self-esteem. He wants to believe me, and there is no doubt in his eyes, but I know he is not so sure.
“I have never loved this Neil, I must marry him because of some reasons,” I say.
This undoubtedly angers Neil. He shouts, “I’ll see what happens to you bitches in the end!”
“You will see a happy life together. Please bless us then, and if I find you dare to touch a finger of Carolina again, I will kill your entire hand! I do what I say!” James’s eyes glow with a fierce light, and he is enveloped in gloom.
Neil wants to say something more but finally does not dare to say it.
James hugs me downstairs. He is not afraid of others seeing it and doesn’t care, but he is surrounded by my neighbors.
They point at me and whisper.
“Who is this man.”
“It’s shameless. I hear them quarreling long ago.”
Meaningful words.
“I want to completely ruin your reputation, and then no one dares to marry you, I will marry you.” James glances at everyone, and everyone’s eyes are close.
James places me in a villa in his suburbs, letting people take care of it.
My mother calls over and over again, but I never answer. I know what her purpose is.
James has not been seen for several days in a row. I take a few day’s leaves from the magazine and stay at his house every day, feeling more and more uneasy.
What is it like James and me?
I am thinking, but the more I think about it, the more painful I am. I couldn’t find a solution. How could I stay with James and how could I get the divorce from Neil with my parents?
I’m going crazy.
Late at night, he finally comes back, but he is drunk.
He becomes so decadent, his eyes are full of bloodshot.
He walks towards me for a moment, staring at my eyes, full of grievances.
“Carolina, what do you think of me? What am I for you?” He flings on me, biting me in pain.
He starts torn my clothes crazily and asks me over and over again, “Carolina! What do you think of me! You say!”