I wrap my clothes and run.
It seems that I have forgotten what kind of state I am now. What should I say when I see James, but I want to see him so much. He is my only relief.
I run downstairs like crazy and rush to the gate of the community.
James’s car parks there, he stands in front of the car and waits for me, seeing me come over and run over anxiously.
“How are you doing?” He holds my hand firmly, his eyes are on me as if to see if I am hurt.
“Let’s get in the car first.” I pull James.
Then in the car, I hug him tightly.
In the middle of the night, there is no one on the street, only we are embracing each other.
His body is warm, and I hold him and finally feel a touch of warmth.
“What the hell is wrong with you!” James shouts suddenly.
I think he’s shaking.
“Something goes wrong at home, don’t worry about it.” I have to comfort him.
In the narrow and crowded environment of the carriage, I actually feel particularly relieved. Even if James is looking at me with skeptical eyes, I could relax and lean beside him. I don’t want to think about other stupid reasons to fool him.
I touch his body, and then I find that his muscles are tight.
“Don’t be so nervous, relax.” I calm his back.
It is actually I am comforting him, because the moment I see James, I seem to be full of strength. The scars on his body seem to be healed.
“Do you know you scared me to death? I don’t know what happens to you. I called you over and over again, but you didn’t answer. I have to wait for you at the gate of your neighborhood. I never think that I will care about someone.”
James caresses my hair gently, eyes lingering around me, this feeling of being cared for is so good.
Contrary to each other, I actually have a delusion of wanting to be with him forever.
“I like you, James, and I really like you.” This sentence finally comes out, but I don’t dare to promise him anything. He just knows what I want. I want him to know that I like him!
“Really!” He asks me joyfully, holding my hand and kissing me again and again.
I slowly nod and say, “Really, I like you!”
At this point, I finally understand the meaning of love for a person. You want to be better for him
The night in the early morning is cold, and only the street lamps are silently shining on the world. And James and I enter our world, hugging and kissing in the carriage, crazy and intense.
“Oh–” I say in pain.
James accidentally touches the wound on my head.
“What’s the matter with you!” James is suddenly anxious and touches my hair to see.
Instantly he gets cold.
“What happens to you today? You said it is a family matter, but why did you have a wound? Do you know that the wound on your head is bleeding!” James carefully holds my head and growls at me.
I can’t tell the truth, I can only say sorry, “I’m sorry, I’m really fine, I can handle this matter myself. It’s a family matter, and you can’t step in, please.”
This matter may not let James know! I can only pray for him.
Snuggling in his arms, I hold him pitifully.
“I am really worried about you! Well, forget it. But you remember that if you make yourself so bad next time, I will definitely intervene! I just meet your parents!” James says powerfully.
I smile at him slightly and hug him as if holding the world.
Going to the hospital to get medicine, James sends me back downstairs, and I go home carefully.
Are we together now? I can’t believe it, my heart is all sweet. I have a lover, no longer nominal, but a true lover!
He likes me, he will miss me, he will worry about me, and he will consider everything for me. This kind of feeling of being cared for is so good.
The days are finally looking forward.
We occasionally date and occasionally have sex, and I can see a kind of sweetness in his eyes that I have never seen before.
I also have the thought of being with him for a long time, but whenever I feel sad and scared at this time, I am afraid that James knows the truth, and I am also afraid of losing him.
What follows is my uneasiness.
I once again determine whether I have done something wrong. I should not be with him. Contradictions, tangles, pain torment me every day.
Before leaving work, Neil sends me a message saying that I would accompany him to a banquet, thinking that he must be accompanied by a wife.
James also happens to call me.
“Come with me to meet my friends tonight?” James smiles softly, “I have to take you to see the world is not, or don’t know my friends at all.”
His words make me startled. James wants to introduce me to his friends and enter his circle of friends, but today, I can only reject him.
“I’m sorry, I have something else to do today. I can’t go.” I say.
“What matters is more important than me,” James says unhappily.
I have to pretend to say, “I just have something, and I’ll tell you later.”
Before James is about to talk, I hang up and go to work.
In the evening, I put on a gown and walk into a banquet hall with the man I don’t love.
Neil is always so polite in front of outsiders, totally different from when he has domestic violence. He and everyone smile and say hello.
I can only smile grudgingly.
“Can you change your dead face,” Neil says with anger while others are not paying attention to us.
I don’t say anything, it’s still the same.
“Wait and see and when we get home!” Neil says fiercely, and I know that I provoke him again.
Suddenly there is a sensation in the banquet. Everyone looks over.
“Is James coming?”
James?
James?
I am panicked suddenly and look at the door.
The man is wearing a well-cut suit and is talking to others.
He is handsome and couldn’t move his eyes, and it really is James.
I turn around suddenly, my nervous heart seems to jump out.
Today I attend this banquet as Neil’s wife, I can’t let him see me!
But he already looks over here.
My back stiffens as if it is the end of the world.