She turned her closet inside out to find the right outfit for the occasion. Jan was on the other side of the video call rolling her eyes dozens of times, shaking her head, telling her over and over again that the oversized white Tee-Shirt she wanted to wear was not a good choice.
But she really wanted to wear it. It was her favorite. It was Lee’s that she had traded with her favorite bucket hat.
“No … you look like you’re wearing your brother’s shirt that’s too big for you … just wear that knitted crop sweater over your outfit, the one with mixed color,” she knew literally everything Hazel had in her closet.
“This one?” she showed it to the camera.
“Yeah … try that one …”
Hazel took off her jeans instead and reached into her closet again, “How about this? I think this would look good with a tank top instead of the sweater?” she took one of her denim overall, the skinny one.
Jan grunted, “I give up … well I guess that will look good with a black tank top.”
“Or the white Tee-shirt?” she grinned still contemplating to use the shirt.
“Oh fine … whatever you want … I don’t see the point you’re forcing me to sit here and tell you what to wear when you only want to wear that shirt.”
“Okay … no shirt then just the tank top, the overall and a scarf … how about that?” she put a grey scarf around her neck, tied her hair up in a messy bun and put on a large black bandana.
“That’s good, yes, I think you got it. Don’t forget the earrings … they match the outfit, okay? Can I go now?” Jan was late for a phone call with Kyle.
“Alright, thanks for your help … catch ya’ later babe.”
“Sure, and tell Lee good luck tonight, ‘kay? And Mischa too … let me know how it goes, love you!”
She ran down the stairs to put on her Doc Mart before storming out the door. She shouted a brief goodbye to her mom and dad because Lee was going to pick her up soon. She didn’t want him to be late for the competition.
She was almost out of breath when she got to her driveway, but Lee wasn’t there yet.
“Hey Mickey … where you off to?”
Theo’s voice came from near the bushes. He was sneaking out to smoke a cigarette under the tree. He’d been coming to her house again lately although not as often as he used to.
“Oh you startled me … what are you doing in there?” she put her hand on her throbbing chest.
“Sorry, I was just having a smoke,” he emerged to the light, blew one last puff of his cigarette and stepped on the stub.
He looked at her closely and a smile bloomed across his face, “You look great, a special occasion?”
“Yeah, Lee’s having a competition tonight, he’s picking me up soon.”
“Cool … good luck with the competition,” he put his hands in his pockets and walked closer to her.
Being alone with him again made her nervous. Given the situation they had the last time they were alone, she wasn’t sure what he was going to do.
“I’m just gonna wait here until he comes,” he said.
She nodded, “Sure, where’s Max?”
“He’s inside getting ready, we’re going out soon … it would be nice if you could come, you never come along anymore.”
He stood very close to her, their arms almost touching.
“And be the fifth wheel? Oh man … those days are over I guess,” she chuckled.
He laughed lightly, “Yeah, I guess so … but I kinda missed it.”
She missed it too, but not as much as she hated it. She used to tag along just because she wanted to be part of the team, be closer to Theo in the only way she could. She realized that it was foolish and she was better off not seeing him with his girlfriend all the time.
“Hazel …” he turned to her.
She felt her stomach turned when he called her that, she looked at him and there it was again, there was something in his eyes that was different and she was afraid of what might come out of his mouth.
She covered his mouth with her hand and pushed him gently, “Don’t kiss me again,” she laughed to hide her nerves.
He laughed, his eyes were pinned on her, “I wasn’t going to.”
They were just laughing it off awkwardly for a moment.
“I’m sorry about that … I promise … it won’t happen again … you know we never get to talk about it, and about that thing we wanted to talk about,” he brought it up.
She remembered. They were talking about the letter she sent him, and how it was unfair for her to assume that her feelings were not returned. That’s when he kissed her, telling her everything she wanted to know about him, but …
“There’s nothing to talk about anymore,” she shrugged.
He was back with his girlfriend and Max made it very clear that nothing was suppose to happen between them.
“Yeah … but still … ”
She inhaled deeply, “I’m glad everything worked out with Peyton.” She wanted to remind him of the fact, a bit like a blow to his face for wanting to talk about his feelings for her when he obviously was still with Peyton.
He tilted one side of his lips, he nodded, “For what it’s worth … I wish everything could be different.”
She was surprised by his response. They looked at each other in silence for a moment. He really did felt something for her, she could see it in his eyes. There was something exciting about it as she realized that, but also sad. The one thing she always wanted the most was becoming a reality that she can’t pursue.
She always thought that if Theo would ever feel the same way about her or even just a fraction of what she felt about him, she would be over the moon about it. But it didn’t feel like the way she had imagined it. It felt like a flower that was blooming was slowly wilting away like a sweet sorrow that is quietly oozing out of her pores.
She returned his smile, “Me too.” And to her surprise, she was fine about it, a little sad but it was okay.
Lee’s car arrived just in time. If it was another minute longer, they wouldn’t know what else to say or how to be with each other on that driveway.
“That’s my ride,” she said.
“Sure … I’ll see you later, Mickey … have fun,” he let her go.
She walked over to Lee’s car and got into the front passenger seat, she waved at him.
“Hey, good luck with the competition man,” Theo waved at Lee too.
“Thanks man … see ya’ later,” Lee rolled down his window to say that and drove off.