I sat in the restroom as I appeared at myself in the glass. I had race each over me; on my face, on my clothes, in my hair; who indeed knows how race got there.
glanced down at my grasp that had not stopped shaking since held Sofia’s cold wave, breathless body in my arms. They were covered in race.
I turned on the water and began to wash my grasp. My eyes welled up with gashes again as I followed the race sluggishly come off my face.
It was supposed to be me; The study kept reenacting, making it hard to concentrate on anything.
I was consequently sick of crying. I demanded to break up commodity or smash someone but I had no dynamism consequently each I could do is cry. I gripped the Gomorrah in wrathfulness as I flashed back her face.
” I am hysterical I will noway know you again”; her voice chimed through my head, making me incontinently punch the glass to abstract myself from my studies. It pulverized into a million pieces as I took deep breaks, trying to quiet myself down.
My phase began to bleed; Atleast it was my own race this time.
went along into the kitchen to get the first aid before I did anything differently. I could not watch about the glass in my phase but I knew I had to take care of it if I demanded to hold my
sire.
wrapped it up after taking out the glass. I rambled into the sitting space where Ice was sitting while holding Jaxon.
Without indeed being told, Ice handed over him over to me.” You do realise we’ve to have a burial for her?” Ice blurted out.” I am not going. You can hold it for her but I will not be going” I spoke with a monotone voice.” But you have too” Ice demanded.” I am not going, end of deliberation” bellowed at him, forgetting I was holding my child.
” Look at what you did!”| cried at Ice before hushing
Jaxon ago to sleep. Ice stormed out while making sure to be quiet.
” pledge that I will not be like my father; I’ll be better for you” rumored before kissing Jaxon’s forepart.” I’ll not allow my glory or pride get in the expressway like it did with your mama . I’ll watch for you as stylish I can” I comforted Jaxon who was asleep in my arms.
” Ragnar you can not hop her burial” Ice cried frustratedly.
” There is only two reasons I am breathing right now; that baby and to bear on the mind of Sofia. Her burial will shove me over theedge. However, I’ll be pushed over the bite” I wrangle angrily through my gritted teeth, If I go to that burial and know the love of my life’s body in that casket.
Ice glanced at me with watery eyes while seesawing.” I did not reside up to my name ahead but I can solace you now that I’m as cold as Ice” he reacted before walking out.
” detect Haze” I bellowed through the entries.” Fucking detect him!”
pinched the ground of my nose stressfully as I sat at my office. I could hear Jaxon crying from the other space; he was invariably crying.
I sat up and walked through to the door of the coming space. I placed my phase on the doorknob hesitantly, I should’ve known being a single father would be harder than I allowed .
I misinterpreted the door manage and walked by; the bottom creaking under my bases while penetrated the space and the light peaking into the space from the door being open.
” Hey little man, what is wrong huh?” I asked him still as I held him in my arms. He precisely lasted to cry. I held him in my arms as I sat on the president.” You miss Mama birthright?, yeah me too” I soughed as I tossed him gently. He sluggishly began to quiet down as he lay in my arms.” I suppose it’s time for a bottle” I grunted, brushing my thumb against his bitsy, soft impertinence.
I seized the bottle I had prepared before in the autumn for when he wakened up.” Are you going to drink this all for me?”| disputed before trying the heat of the milk on my arm.” Then you go” I quieted him as I fed him the bottle.
My shriek filled the space.
The house was quiet; None of us could talk to each other without getting angry.
He fell asleep not long after the bottle but precisely as I placed him in the crib, he began to cry again.” Ok, looks like you are sleeping in my pad tonight” I murmured, bringing around him into
my space.
I placed Jaxon on the pad gently before I lay next to him.
He was not much bigger than my phase. He lay on Sofia’s side of the pad, not indeed making a indenture in the mattress due to his light cargo.
I was feeling asleep; I can” feel anything inside of me. It’s like I am concave, made of only face and bone; Its exactly what I smelled like before Sofia but now it’s boosted. The wrathfulness I feel can not be sluggishly dissolved like it exercised to, noway matter how important| laugh or punch now, i will noway stop being angry.
I was not indeed sure who I was more angry at. Myself for letting her bones or her for leaving me. It’s fucking selfish that I am angry at her but she knew how important I demanded her.
broke down from my studies when I heard a bitsy snores.
A slight smile was plastered on my lips without indeed realising it.
perhaps he is my stopgap of being saved.
4 years later.
Ice’s POV:
I’ve been floundering to get out of bed recently; I suppose it’s the fact that Sofia’s 4 time anniversary is approaching relatively snappily and utmost of us still have not finished grieving.
Especially Ragnar.
Ragnar went on a rage for about two times after she failed, just killing anything or anyone that pissed him off except for Jaxon obviously. He’d went from slightly getting out of bed to killing everyone including the police force and innocent people who he allowed was shamefaced.
But also, nearly two times ago around this time, he just suddenly stopped. tête-à-tête I do not suppose he has the energy presently to kill people, not to mention Jaxon who can now have a full discussion. A short one, but a discussion nevertheless. Little does Jaxon know moment’s his mama ‘s 4 time death anniversary.
I still feel like Dante and I are walking on eggshells around
Ragnar. We are always careful not to mention her name, just incase he snaps.
I walked into the sitting room where I saw the print flipped over, facing the coffee stand. I soughed as I looked at it; it was a print of him and her. He does not have the strength to throw the print’s around the house down so rather, he just flips it over; I assume it’s so that when he is doing effects in the house, he is not reminded of her.
know the guilt is tearing him up outside because he is always saying it should’ve been him but I know Sofia would rather herself die than Ragnar. She’s always been too selfless.
Jaxon suddenly burst through the doors.” Alex, Alex, look what I set up” he cried happily as his little legs ran as presto as they could over to me. He handed me a print.
” Where did you get this cub?” I asked curiously, holding the print of Sofia andI.” It was on the bottom” he grunted as he refocused at the rustic bottom.” It presumably fell off of the wall” I murmured to myself.
” Alex, can I’ve a cookie” Jaxon cheered while jumping before falling to the ground. He began to cry as he looked at his cut elbow.” It’s okay, lets go get your dada” I lumbered as lifted Jaxon into my arms.” But dada’s working and he says we are not allowed in” Jaxon pouted.” I suppose we can go in, just this once” I said, placing my cutlet over my lips to indicate it was a secret.
” Ok” Jaxon puled.
Ice was downward taking care of Jaxon so I had a many twinkles at most to spend alone with my studies. I travelled from my office to my bedroom; our bedroom.
I lay on the bed, letting out a deep shriek as I peered at loose cover on the bed.
The tips of my fritters ran along the bed where she formerly lay next me. It felt like a continuance ago that I had saw her face or heard her voice; Her real voice. I am constantly alarmed that I am going to forget her. As the times go by I am forgetting the way her touch transferred electricity through my body like it had noway been touched before Or perhaps it’s the fact that I know her smile is sluggishly fading down from my memory. There is also a harmonious dull pang in my casket because I long for her. craving to kiss her lips and say I love you one last time.
I slipped my phone out of my fund and telephoned a number.
They did not answer but their voicemail did.
” Hey, it’s Sofia, leave a communication after the beep and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day”.
Hearing her voice was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. All my stress incontinently melted down as I heard her voice.
” Hey Sof. it’s Ragnar, it’s been awhile since I have done this”| murmured into the phone. I glanced at the bottom while I tried to control my breathing.” It’s four times moment” I eventually blurted out, my eyes surcharging from the gashes that were beginning to well over.” I generally limit myself to hearing this once a week so that I do not over do it because I know it’s not healthy and I have formerly called this week but I said fuck it due to the fact you been. gone four times now” I smelled my lip as I tried desperately to hold back the gashes.
” I can not fucking do it Sof, I can'” I blubbed , eventually letting myself breakdown.” Everything fucking hurts and have not indeed touched my journal in months, I know if I open it and see how happy I was. I’d try to join where you’re now” I uttered shamed as gashes rolled down my cheeks.” I am sorry I broke my pledge, I’ve to carry that guilt around with mee-everyday”| released a sob at the end of my judgment .” The guilt is so heavy that occasionally I feel like I can not breathe because of it” I puled.
” My heart pangs for you everyday. occasionally I wonder if you indeed saved my life by dying because now I am miserable all the time. Everyone kept telling me that I’d feel more and that time would heal the hole in my heart that you left but if I am being honest, I suppose it’s only gotten deeper”| explained with a heavy heart, letting out my bottled grief.
I calmed myself down as stylish I could.
” But on the bright side Jaxon turns 4 hereafter” I grunted
” He. saw a print of you the other day and he recognised you. I have noway been prouder yet so creeped out” I said with my tone getting more happier than preliminarily. I swallowed the lump in my throat and goggled at the ground.
” But yeah, I just called to let you know how we were doing.
Ilove you Sof. I am still in love with you and I can not stay for the day I am with you again” my lip bucketed as I spoke.
I hung up.
I reached out for her pillow, that had not been used since the night she failed.
acclimated it, realising it was crooked and suddenly a corner of her journal browsed out at me from underneath it.
Our maids change our wastes so they would’ve set up it and just put it back where it was after they were finished, assuming I knew that it was there.
I searched far and wide for her journal after she failed and the one place I did not look. I felt like punching myself.
My fritters traced the cover of it. This was one of the last effects she touched. It’s weird how special the little effects come. I do not have the energy to read this tonight.
And just as I allowed that, Ice and Jaxon came into the room. Jaxon had gashes rolling down his cheeks as his bottom lip was in a pout. He was gaping at his cut elbow.
” Oh. we can leave you alone” Ice uttered, noticing what I was holding.” No, I want dada!” Jaxon cried, writhing in Ice’s arms
” It’s okay, give him to me”| soughed, taking Jaxon into my arms. Ice walked out, independently and shut the door behind him.” What happed?”| hushed Jaxon who was crying.” I fall” he cried with snob coming out of his nose. I took the towel from my night stand and wiped his nose.” Does it hurt?” I asked curiously.” No” Jaxon stated bluntly. I smiled, letting out a small chortle.
” So why are crying cub?” I questioned.” I do not like it” he murmured, pointing to his blood.” Ohhh”| jounced with a light tone, taking the first aid tackle out of my night stand.” I’ve these each over the house” I smiled.” Why?” Jaxon asked.” I used to get a lot of owes too so I put one of these in every room” I rumored, cutting the cataplasm and placing it on his elbow.
I sat Jaxon on my stage as he played with the strings of my hoodie.” each more” Jaxon smiled with gashes still rolling down his cheeks. I beamed, wiping the gashes with my thumb. I kissed his forepart.” hereafter you turn 4!”| cried excitedly. He let out a giggle as I stood up, lifting him in the air.” 4!” He repeated, holding up his fritters. I decided to make his birthday one day after his mama ‘s death date so that he could have the day all to himself.
” You are going to be a big boy!” I said happily, throwing him back onto the bed. He laugh uncontrollably as he tried to
sit back over typically on the bed. He let out a nudnik before rubbing his eye.” Is someone tired?” I asked curiously, with one eyebrow raised.” No, I want to play!” He said, starting to throw a hissy .” Hey, you are a big boy hereafter, no further explosions” I advised him, putting on my strict voice.” I just want to play with you” he cried.” We can play all day hereafter” I assured him, seeing his eyes incontinently light up.
” You promise?” He asked happily.” I promise” I murmured.
” Okay” Jaxon pouted again, but was not crying any longer.
” Let’s go kiddo”| seized his hand.
I took him to his bedroom and he climbed into his bed.
” Read this bone !” He cried with a big smile plastered on his face. His light, slightly curled brown hair was all messy and his big brown eyes sparkled with happiness. There was so important of her in him; it was nearly painful.
I began to read the book and as I reached half way through, heard little snores coming from his bed. I glanced over to see him knocked out. I placed my hand on his casket, just to feel his heart beat. It gave me peace of mind knowing his was still beating.
” I love you Jaxon”| rumored as I stood at his door.
I still walked into my room.
Death is the price you pay for love.
* Sofia’s POV *
My face came shocked as he knelt down on one knee.
” Will you marry me?” He said in admiration as he looked up at me. I was firmed ; He wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.” Sofia?” He asked, grabbing my attention down from my studies.” Yes” I smiled, observance to observance before he stood up and I hugged him.” I love you” he rumored into my observance as he hugged me tightly.” I love you more” I murmured still so only he could hear. I released my grip on him when I felt water trickle down the side of my leg.
I glanced down in confusion. My eyes connected with Ragnar’s; he widened his eyes, realising what was passing.
” You are water broke” Ice cried from behind me.” Call an ambulance” I said to Ragnar calmly as I sat down.
Ice was freaking out in the corner with Dante who had an nearly sad expression on his face.
Within 5 twinkles the ambulance had come and Ragnar was scarifying the entire time. He kept telling me that it would be alright but I suppose it was for his own consolation. I walked sluggishly out to the ambulance and that is when the condensation began; It was a bit early into the gestation to have this baby but I guess I was going to have to make it work.
The labour process was long, hard and painful. Sweat was trickling from my forepart as I plodded to push the baby out. But ultimately, Jaxon Alex Hernandez was born.
The croaker handed Jaxon to me as Ragnar looked like he was going to pass out.
” Hi baby” I hushed his cries as I held him in my arms.
” You are veritably handsome” I spoke vocally, kissing his forepart.
This was moment I had awaited for my entire life. This was my purpose; To be a mama .
I saw Ragnar’s light up as he goggled at his child.” Do you want to hold him?” I asked Ragnar curiously with a smile plastered on my face.” No, he looks peaceful in your arms and I wouldn’t want to drop-” take him” I forced Ragnar to hold Jaxon. I knew Ragnar was just spooked that he’d hurt him but I had full confidence in him. He’l be a great father.
Ragnar held the baby in his arms gently, treating Jaxon as if he was made of glass. The baby began to cry and Ragnar began to freak out.” Did I hurt him?” Ragnar questioned frenetically with his eyes widened.” No” I chortled.” Try and rock him in your arms” I suggested and Ragnar did as I said.
In no time, Jaxon was asleep in his fathers arms.
also, Ice burst into the room.” The croaker told me you gave birth, are you okay?!” Ice cried worriedly causing Ragnar to throw Ice a nasty regard.” My son is trying to sleep”
Ragnar cried but ever also bruiting at the same time.” Protective important” Ice rolled his eyes and walked over to my bedside.” I do not know how you did that, you are like super mortal or commodity” Ice beamed making me smile.” Shut up” Ragnar snarled at Ice who was still talking relatively loudly.” Ok I more leave before he kills me” Ice uttered snappily before leaving the room
” He is such a dumbass” Ice rolled his eyes.
I let out a chortle before realising I was exhausted; All the adrenaline had kept me awake.
I dropped the plate clean as the music blazoned through the house. danced as I put the plate on the mound of clean bones . I looked over to my right to see Jaxon dancing in the middle of the kitchen. Taughed as I watched him move his arms and legs frenetically. He broke and chortled with me before continuing.
I turned around to see Ragnar, leaning against the wall with a boo on his face. I stopped the music at the sight of him.
” Oh, when did you get home?” I flushed shyly as I questioned him.” 2 twinkles ago” his boo turned into a grin at the sight of my light pink cheeks.
He’d taken off his suit jacket and tie; I am assuming at the door and had unbolted his shirt partial way down, revealing his casket and the shirt just giving a slight regard of his abs. His hair was nominated moment which he did not do veritably frequently. He began to take off his belt as he approached me.
” Dada!” Jaxon cried, only now realising his father had come home. Jaxon was obviously detracted by his dancing.” Hey Buddy!” Ragnar smiled, lifting Jaxon into his arms.” You are getting big!” Ragnar blatted as he poked
Jaxon’s casket.” I know, look at my muscles” Jaxon showed his bicep to Ragnar. Ragnar let out a chortle before asking” why are not you in bed yet? It’s late. Ragnar raised his eyebrow at me warningly.
” Mama let me stay up late” Jaxon rumored to Ragnar.” Yes I did because he did not get to see his father veritably much this week” I shot a death gawk at Ragnar.” Sorry little man, I was working” Ragnar murmured as he rubbed Jaxons head, intruding up his hair.
” Can you tuck me in?” Jaxon asked with a pout.” Of course I can” Ragnar beamed, placing him down and letting Jaxon run up to his room.
Ragnar looked at me, making my heart race; Our love is still strong to this day. He still makes the hair on the reverse of my neck stand up and still gives me butterflies in my stomach.
He walked over to me and seized my chin, forcing me to kiss him. He broke the kiss and lumbered” it has been a long fucking day”.” My day was good, I enrolled Jaxon for kindergarten” I informed Ragnar but he was not harkening to anything I said. He was just gaping at my lips.
” Mhm, can I kiss you now” he asked.” Yeah” I chortled before my lips pressed against his. I was thankful for these moments.” A week from now and we’ll be hubby and woman ” he beamed as he walked down. I had fully forgot our marriage was so soon.
I stood in my marriage dress, looking in the glass.” Sofia” Ice knocked.” You can come in” I replied.
I saw him walk in and his jaw incontinently opened.
” You are stunning” Ice said in shock.” Thank you”| smiled happily.” Are you ready?” He asked.” I have always been ready” I admitted as Ice walked out. He brought Jaxon in.
” Wow Mama, you look like a Princess” he heaved with a big smile on his face.” Thank you Jax” I murmured as I leaned down and kissed his impertinence.” You are welcome” he gave me a thumbs up.
” Ok let’s go” Ice steered us out of the room. I stood at the doors before Dante took Jax to sit down. I linked my arm with Alex’s; I will noway forget his response when I asked him to walk me down the islet, he nearly cried. I love Alex, he has changed so much within the time I’ve known him.
He hasn’t always been the kindest or the nicest but he acknowledges his miscalculations has tried to apologise constantly. He has come one of my favourite men but my favourite person is standing at the balcony.
The doors opened and I began to walk.” Do not trip” Jax rumored to me.” I habituate” I chortled.
I watched Ragnar’s face incontinently drop as he saw me. His eyes widened and he placed his hand on his heart. I smiled at him as Alex beamed with happiness.
We reached the top and Alex sat with Dante and Jax.
” You look absolutely indefectible” he uttered, nearly out of breath.” You are not bad yourself” I beamed.
The clerk finished speaking after half an hour.
We said our promises.
” I do” Ragnar spoke proudly and confidently with no vacillation.
” do” I smiled vocally, my eyes soddening.
I felt complete. In this very moment I felt complete. I also felt overwhelmed and accomplished. I swear I allowed that my father was going to make my whole life a living hell. But he didn’t. I wouldn’t of met Ragnar without my father. I am thankful that my father forced me to live and nearly marry Ragnar because without him, I wouldn’t be alive moment.
I got to know who Ragnar really was and I can noway love a person as much I love him; except my son of course.
I did it. I am happy and I am in love. Nothing could ever beat this moment; Nothing.
guess a woeful launch does not always mean a woeful ending