Alex POV
Tears stream down my cheeks as I drive down the road minutes later. Just the thought of how much Max was good to me makes me feel less of a human. As much as I want to conclude that I am doing the right thing, knowing that it’s all for the sake of my mom, I still can’t help the truth standing and glare back at me. I can’t deny that I’m doing what’s not right.
I pull over at the side of the road and bring out my wallet from my inner pocket. I stare at the picture of my supposed mom, and a drop of tears slid down my cheeks. Although I never talked about it and pretended that everything was fine, but I can’t help it anymore. It hurts that this woman is still alive, and I have never got to see her all my life.
‘Why did you keep this from me? You are such a selfish man’ I remember those words I said to my dad when I first found out the truth, but he told me he had his reasons for doing that. He told me he only did that to protect me, and even though I was mad at him, I managed to understand that he really did that to protect me. Maybe I wouldn’t have been here today if Max’s mom had found out that my dad cheated on her and had me.
“I will find you, mom. I promise. I will save you from that monster,” I whisper before I kiss the picture. My dad said that after he took me away from her years ago, she suddenly disappeared and he never heard from her. Five years later, he found out that she was married to a politician. He said that he tried to reach out to her, but he could never do it, and he heard from a source that she was not happy being married to the man. If I really want to get to see my mom, I have to forget my conscience and do the dirty thing.
My phone suddenly starts ringing, and I roll my eyes before I answer the call, when I see Alicia’s name displayed on the screen. I hate her so much now. I know she did all of this for my sake, but having sex with her all these years knowing that my brother was seeing her makes me feel so irritated by her, but I never showed it. And now that she’s carrying his child, I feel like I can’t keep up with this, but I still need her help.
“Alex, please listen to me. I swear I didn’t mean it… I will get rid of the baby if you want me to… If you want, I can file for divorce and leave him immediately, please don’t leave me,” Her teary voice sounds from the other end as soon as I answer the call, and I sigh briefly.
“Let’s meet,” I say to her before I end the call, and drop my phone on the seat beside me, running my fingers through my hair afterward. I think it’s not yet time to end things with her, but there’s no way I’m ever going to allow her to terminate the baby, or have sex with her. I’m not a beast to still be seeing a woman that’s already carrying another man’s child.
The drive to my office didn’t take much time as I arrive about thirty minutes later.
“Cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week,” I say to my secretary, Brian as I walk inside my office, not sparing him a glance.
“Sir, Mr. Lucas called…” He says just before I enter my office, and I stop.
“Do you not understand what I mean by canceling all my appointments for the rest of the week?” I glare hard at him, and he quickly bows his head with shock written all over him. I was expecting the reaction because I have never spoken to him in that manner before, but I’m so pissed right now that I just want to be left alone. What exactly got me pissed? I don’t even know.
“I’m sorry, Sir,” He says to me before I walk inside my office, throwing myself in the chair tiredly.
Something crosses my mind, and I quickly reach out for my phone and turn on the data connection. A series of messages and notifications pop on the screen as soon as I turn the screen on.
‘Senator Eduardo Malcom’ I search the name, and the picture of the bastard pops on the screen of my phone, with my beautiful mom standing beside him. Anger spurs through me, tears well up in my eyes as I stare at them looking so happy together.
“Did you ever miss me?” I whisper as my tears finally find their way down my cheeks. She would reach out to me if she ever missed me, right? She already has children there, maybe I mean nothing to her, or she has forgotten she has a child like this anyway. Does she miss me the way I miss her so much?
I have done background checking on the man and found out that he’s a strict young man that isolates my mom and her kids at home, so I think it’s going to be difficult getting through to her until I have enough power to.
I finally toss my phone on the desk, and just when I am about to start working, I heard a knock on my door, and I raise my gaze to see Alicia. I only told her that I would see her, I didn’t ask her to meet me here, did I?
“Come in,” I usher her in.
As she sits in front of me a few minutes later, I stare at her, and all I feel is disgust. I can’t believe that this was the same woman I used to be so crazy about.
“Alex… I’m really sorry. I never meant for this to happen,” She pleads with me as tears stream down her cheeks, and I take a deep breath.
“It’s fine. It’s not your fault,” I reply to her, and she slowly raises her gaze to look at me.
“I’m sorry for being too harsh on you the other day. I was just worked up,” I apologize to her, and she beams excitedly.
“No, it’s fine. I should be the one saying that. I’m really…”
“Alicia… I understand that I put you through all this, and I should be blamed for it. I’m really sorry,” I further say, but she shakes her head, insisting that it wasn’t my fault.
“No, it wasn’t your fault. I should’ve made sure that the pill did its work,” She insists, and I nod my head.
“You’re not going to leave me, are you? You won’t break up with me, will you?” She asks, and I sigh. Of course, I will, but I can’t tell her that now. I still need her help. I know you would say that I’m a bad person for using her, but life is not always fair. Some people will always be used, and maybe that is her fate too.
“I just need some space, babe. I just need some time to heal from this, but we will always be together,” I assure her, and she slowly nods her head. If I want to get what I want, then I better switch to the beast in me…