I shook my head, now is not the time being or what Kiera is thinking of me, now, the most important thing is to ease Kiera from the pain and the suffering that hurts her from inside. “You know the place where we are standing right now, is the same place where you accepted me as your friend,” I said, changing the subject and trying to lighten the environment.
“Can you believe how much this place changed…., like us,” the last part was just a mere whisper that only I could hear?
Things change just like us. A few months ago, Kiera was at the place where I’m at, and she was cheering me up and looking….. “You know it’s because of you that I restored this place. I always thought that this place would be the reason for sadness, but you changed my perspective, you showed me a new way to look at things. Kiera, it was you who showed me that everything has two sides of it one good and bad, it’s we who decides what we like to see, you were the one who said, to always look at things positively and remember the happy memories the joyful moments that we spend there with ones we love rather the loss the sadness that brings nothing but sadness.” I sighed as I finished my words. I don’t know what I am talking about; I’m not Kiera, and nor am I good at looking at people’s hearts and how to cheer them up. maybe that is the reason I’m blabbering the same thoughtful words that once Kiera said to me, that once helped me. “Kiera you’re the reason for my happiness, you’re the reason that Aria is doing better, it’s because of you that our life changed so much, but I’m angry that I have never noticed the pain that’s hiding beneath your smile. Share your pain with me, I don’t what good it will do, but I want to know Kiera that you’re trying to hide from me,”
I lost all my hope when Kiera didn’t speak any words, but to my surprise, Kiera pulled something out of her neck, maybe a chain, and placed it on my palm. I don’t have a mere idea of what she tried to do. That’s why I watched her carefully as she took the pendant out of the chain and opened it in two. There was a picture inside the pennant, a baby but whose. My mind is filled with questions seeing the tiny picture, but Kiera opened her mouth, saying something that shocked me before I could say anything.
“She is my daughter.”
What?
********
I placed one of the dearest things on Jason’s hand reliving a part of my life that’s only known by a few. A secret that I even, I don’t know about, something that’s a part of me but hidden by me. I don’t even know if it’s alive or not. “She is my daughter,” I said, staring at Jason’s shocked face.
I’m not surprised by how Jason reacted. I know that did a background check on me, wanting to know every bit of information about me and life. And that part was known not to him, nor to anyone else. How can anyone know when I don’t know about it at all? My daughter only stayed a year with me before she was taken away from me, and never to be seen again.
“Where is she now?” Jason asked, staring at the picture.
I signed as memories of the past came knocking back in my mind. “I don’t know,”
“What, how?”
Goosebumps pooped all over my body as both my mind and body went numb, with my voice. The memories of the past, the times that I once thought were the happiest in life. the time that all of a sudden turned bad, a toxic relationship that I thought loved, and a person I thought loved me was all nothing but a mirage that fades in front of my eyes, showing the reality and the lies, that I was trying to neglect for so long. Toxic relationships are like a puddle of quicksand that slowly digs you deeper, and the feeling that you think love, is nothing but an obsession of a certain person, like a drug. You want to avoid it get away from it, but can’t stay away from it, and slowly it destroys you inside out, as it did to me.
“Kiera,” Jason put both his shoulders, shaking me gently, bringing me back from my dark thoughts. “Tell me, what is hiding beneath…., don’t hide. Please. I beg you,”
I went silent, looking at the sincerity in Jason’s eyes. I don’t know if I’m stupid or if my life is trying to play a game with me. The one thought I loved hurt me so badly, that even after all this I feel the pain of the past, and the person that I hated from the moment I first met him, here by my side, supporting me, trying to cheer me up. I don’t know, but in the worst moments, life gives us the best gift ever. It is in our hands to cherish it and let it go.
I nodded, revealing every bit of my life, like an open notebook, right from the beginning. This time I won’t hide, I won’t hesitate or lie. I tried all this in the past and the result always hurt nothing else. It was time to take action rather than sit and hope for the best. It’s time to take action and fight for what is right, rather than looking and past crying; I’ll learn from it and never make the same mistake ever again.
Not again.